I just need to COOL DOWN...(Birdie!)

[Fallenmist]

Her reassuring smile warms me. I know she's worrying. Heck, I'm worrying too right now. I'm not sure I've ever stopped worrying really. My ears twitch back in her direction, and I make sure to actively try to keep by her side. I rushed off from Feather, and though it ended up alright, I knew I shouldn't have. Pulling out into the territory, I walk a ways, then pull up and glance at Birdheart. "Meet back here?" I wait a while for her response, then smile gently, and bound off through the prairie grass.

I go a little ways before my heart and breathing eases enough for me to slow and calm. Then I start to hunt. My ears switch forward, and I go into predator mode, leaving behind all my troubles like the old days. The scent of a field mouse hits me, and I smile at the thought of an easy kill. I prowl forward a little ways, before dropping into a crouch. I glide gracefully toward the small critter. I'm a little out of practice, but such is not a skill that one can simply forget. I pause for just a moment. Just a breath. Then I lunge forward in a ripple of muscles and a blur of sunlit fur. Snap. It's a quick and merciful kill indeed. Clean with just a little blood. At least prey is plump this time of year.

[Birdheart]

Birdheart felt wrong leaving her friends side as if she should pretect Fallenmist. She then scolded her self. For goodness sake she wasn't one of Birdheart's kits!

Birdheart perked up her big ears listing for prey. It wasn't long before she heard a mouse about 8 tail lengths away. She crouched and slowly padded towards it before..BAM she got it! She promptly picked up her kill and padded back to the spot they entered

[Fallenmist]

A flicker of white fur tells me that either Birdie has caught something, or she's fretting to much. The latent scent of mouse after towards me tells me it's the former, and I gather my kill and bound back toward her. I pull up at her side, and something tells me either she is worrying, or she was. I drop my mouse on the groun and scrape some earth over it, planning to stay out here for a while. I'm about to ask what's bothering her, when the scent of rabbit catches my attention. I start to go round to cut it off from camp, before I look over to my friend. With a smile, I twitch my ears in the direction of the rabbit, and gesture to a spot with my tail. "I'll chase it to you." I say it quietly, but clear enough for her to know what I mean. Then I slink around in a hunting crouch to chase the rather plump creature into her claws. It's ears prick up, and it senses me. It freezes for a moment, then begins to lope off, slowly and warily. I Spring forward, and cut it off, rounding it toward Birdheart with a gleeful smile and look of determination. All she's got to do is catch it, and if in doubt, we can always chase it down.

[Birdheart]

Birdheart nodded to the idea and waited in a position ready to spring.

She suppressed a laugh watching her friend chase the criter. Fallenmist did look kinda copy running about if you erase the rabbit. Once the rabbit was close enough birdheart tackled it rolling into a ball so it couldn't escape her grasp. She gave it's neck a swift bite before murmuring thanks for it's life.

[Fallenmist]

My ears flicker forward, and I raise a fictional brow at her seeming amusement. I then return to the task at hand, tail waving as I chase the rabbit toward her. I then remember just in time to stop, and end up skidding to a halt just as she tackles the rabbit. I flinch slightly as she says thanks, my ears twitching uneasily. I don't say thanks. I don't really believe in Cloudclan, and I know full well in my own mind that the creature isn't giving its life. We're taking it. I cringe slightly at the thought, then brush it off and plaster a smile upon my face as I trot over to my friend. "What you wanna do now?" I don't want to go back to camp yet. I can't. I twitch my tail slightly, and glance over to where I buried the mouse, not sure whether to grab it yet or not. I'm just not ready.

[Birdheart]

Birdheart shrugged "I honestly don't know" she said laying on her back before getting up again"lets take this prey back.

[Fallenmist]

I twitch my ears. In fact, I think my whole body twitches in response to her suggestion. Then I sigh and nod, because I know she's right. And I can't keep avoiding the camp forever. Giving my friend a half-hearted smile, I walk over and dig up my mouse. "I'll grab the mice, you can bring the rabbit, okay?" I try to keep my tone light and happy, but it's hard. Because being away from camp shows me just how much I really hate being in it. Shrugging the tenseness out of my muscles, I collect the prey by its tail, and gather the one Birdheart caught as well. Then I wait patiently for her to catch up, before heading back toward camp. At least on the bright side, they might be glad I've done something useful.

[Birdheart]

"you seem really tense." Birdheart said in a concerned voice, despite her voice being muffled by prey. "is something up?" She tilted her head.

[Fallenmist]

I twitch my ears toward my friend, and frown. I shake my head, resulting in almost dropping my prey. I gather a better hold on it and sigh. "I'm fine, don't worry about it..." I swear I sound like I've got a mouse in my throat. I guess I've got two in my mouth, so that counts for something. I twitch my tail awkwardly, and eye the camp entrance. I give her a sidelong glance that probably says "I'm fine. Maybe. Sort of. Okay, I'm lying." Before I slip into camp and trot over to the fresh kill pile. I pull to a stop near the pile, and drop the mice on the pile before turning back to my friend. "Do you wanna check on the borders? I don't think anyone does that much." Okay. So I'm avoiding camp. So what?

[Birdheart]

"are you avoiding seeing featherfrost?" She blurted out. She needed to know as a friend.

[Fallenmist]

I freeze up, and my mouth drops in a 'where an earth did you get that from?!' Sort of way. I snap it shut again and vigorously shake my head. "Of course not. No. We're fine." I twitch my ears and stall because I know I have to tell her what's going on. But I don't want to. Not because I don't trust her, but because as soon as I say it, I'll know I believe it. "I...Its...Its them..." I gesture with my tail to the cats in the clearing which I swear are just look at me like I've got whitecough, or some incurable disease. I shiver, and sigh, taking great interest in the ground all of a sudden. "And me. Or...or maybe just me...." I shake my head again, and sort of awkwardly meet my gaze. "I don't know, Birdie. I don't know what's going on in my mind...or...or my heart..." Nope. The ground doesn't look at me like that. I law slightly at the sand. "Can...can we just go back out, please? Birdie?" My ears fall back slightly because I feel like their gazes are seering my. Heck, it's probably my imagination. I'm just so broken I don't know anymore what's me and what isn't. I need to get out of here. Again.

(She's reverting. I imagine this'd be what she did when her kits vanished. Sort of, not letting herself believe it, then suddenly needing to get out. Like the clan is suffocating her. Then being caught and it's all so strange she's still in denial. Then she gets home and just shatters. But she felt less broken with her wall up, so she's building it back brick by brick and the denial come pouring back in to fill in the gaps. Poor Bub, I'm a sucky mama to her. And Darya.)

[Birdheart]

((tut tut I feel awful about hazelpaw just because I RP her I don't still quite get why I make birdheart complain about her))


"only if you tell me what you mean by they look luke me and why your so afraid" she pushed. Fallenmist was making no sense and it was freaking Birdheart out. She noticed her friends blue eyes were confused and scared and so were her own.

Why was she trying to barricade her self in?!

[Fallenmist]

(Yes Birdie, yes she is. Thou is officially psychic. *high-paws*)

I shake my head. She's not getting it. Heck, I'm not getting it. I close my eyes for a moment and my breath quivers slightly. "Im not afraid Birdie!" That came out harsher than it was meant to. I shoot her an apologetic glance. "I'm just...confused. That's all. I'm not in my right mind right now and I just need to...to figure things out." I flicker my ears uncomfortably, before trying for a reassuring smile. I take a step forward and nuzzle my friend gently. "Please, Birdie?"

[Birdheart]

"alright but it is just going to get worse" she sighed " so you think featherfrost is jealous of thunderfox?" She giggled

[Fallenmist]

I nod, because I know that all too well. But I don't want to face it right now. Not yet. I lead the way back toward the camp exit, glad she relented. I let myself smile at her comment, her giggle eating my mood slightly. "Oh? And why is this dear Birdheart?" I ask, my tone portraying amusement as I force the rest of my emotions back into that ridiculously shallow chasm. We exit the camp and I keep walking, allowing myself to at least be a little more positive. I want to enjoy this time with my friend. I offer her a sidelong glance, curious of her theory.