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Post by Adaline on May 14, 2017 15:07:29 GMT -6
Loki
Brightwing was groaning, feeling severe regret from eating random mushrooms from yesterday. Tonight, was a normal night and she would simply be taking some time to... She didn't know. She wanted some time without feeling like every cat was looking at her and judging her. For all she enjoyed her life in Fireclan, sometimes the social aspect of clan life felt so... Suffocating.
On this cloudy night, where the only light making it through the clouds, was the moon shining through what appeared to be the only hole in the clouds. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She was... Tired. Of a lot of things, really. She felt like her life in Fireclan was simply going through the motions, moving on everyday only to suffer more and more. Whether that was through her nightmares slowly tearing her apart piece by piece, or someone else who was supposed be a friend, family take a part of her until there was hardly anything that amounted to a complete cat left.
She somehow found herself at the border shared with neutral territory. She sighed, as she walked up to the very edge across the border. She wondered what life as a loner was like. Was it better than this?
She lifted a paw as if she was about to cross, only to hesitate and return her paw back to its place on Fireclan's side of the border. She sighed and looked away.
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Post by Loki on May 14, 2017 15:22:15 GMT -6
 L oki had had nothing to do the past few days, so he had spent his time roaming the endlessly familiar fields where he lived. He would rather be roaming halls, but he sadly cpuldn't, because of his stupid brother. He had found his way near the Fireclan territory, and lay on a large boulder near it, blending in perfectly. He happened to be poking a leaf with a deadly sharp claw, and extremely bored expression on his face, then he looked up to see a slightly familiar cat. "Having trouble, goldy?" he asked, not looking up or away from his claw poking the leaf. "Seems like we're all falling apart." Loki's ears flicked back at this comment, and he stifled back a snarl. It never escaped his lips. |
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Post by Adaline on May 14, 2017 15:33:47 GMT -6
Brightwing blinked as her head jerked towards Loki. She blinked. She could hardly see him, but she could tell he was there. He blended in rather well with the darkness. She wondered what he was doing here by Fireclan territory.
She paused. "... I'm just doing some hard thinking." She half-admitted. She wasn't really sure she wanted to spill her guts for this guy she'd only met once, and someone by all rights she should be chasing off the territory but... He wasn't someone she wanted to alienate like that. He... Didn't hate her. A more depressing part of her insisted that was because he didn't know how poisonous she was. However... She remembered when he'd... Helped her when she was faced with that Deathclanner that attacked her patrol in former Rockclan territory. She sighed. "... I'm not falling apart." She insisted. Couldn't fallen apart when you were already glass shards scattered on the ground.
"Trying to find some peace?" She inquired.
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Post by Loki on May 14, 2017 15:47:10 GMT -6
L oki stopped poking the leaf and set his paw over his other paw, and flicked his tail. He met her gaze calmly, still with a slightly bored look. "I could never find peace, so I stopped looking." Ever since the fire that tore his home in half, peace hadn't been an option. After that, only chaos followed, resulting in banishment from his home and his rightful throne. It hurt, it still hurt, after all this time. It still felt as if a dagger stuck out from his chest, thrust through his heart. |
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Post by Adaline on May 14, 2017 16:04:25 GMT -6
Brightwing sighed. "... I don't have peace, so I settle for what shreds I can find." She murmured in response, her voice sounding depressingly dead and emotionless. She wasn't sure why she was talking like this.
She wasn't usually... Open with anyone, really. Maybe Mudclaw and... Swanfrost a bit when they had... Before they.... She pushed away that thought. The point was that her head was chaos and that anarchy hadn't stopped churning from when the storm first started as a kit. It felt like it escaped her head every once in a while simply to wreck everything she'd built before turning, shredding her mind.
"Is the loner life... Good?" She asked all of a sudden.
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Post by Loki on May 14, 2017 18:51:32 GMT -6
L oki blinked slowly, trying to figure out what she was thinking, but her question sparked thoughts of his own. He wanted to say no, and that he would much rather be at home, but that wasn't what escaped his mouth. "I would say so." |
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Post by Adaline on May 14, 2017 19:07:28 GMT -6
Brightwing sighed. "... Doubt anyone in the clan would believe you if you spilled... So, I'm going to be a little honest." She shook her head gently. "I'm having... Doubts. This life in my clan... I don't think I'm happy. I'm not sure I make anyone else happy. And..." She looked wistfully out into loner territory. "I wonder what it'd be like to be able to live without fearing if I make a wrong move, everything is going to come crashing down on my head."
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Post by Loki on May 15, 2017 4:26:30 GMT -6
L oki turned his head to look out upon loner lands, and he said slowly and quietly, "You want to leave." It was more of a statement than a question, but it was still a surprise that she told him anything. He suddenly leaped down from the rock and landed silently in front of her. He wanted to tell her his story, even if they weren't similar in any way. He just wanted to make sure she was making the right choice. Suddenly, Loki stopped himself. When did he ever care for other cats? Maybe that started when others started using him, he wasn't sure. All the same, he guessed this cat would be the last one he ever helped. |
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Post by Adaline on May 15, 2017 4:40:10 GMT -6
Brightwing sighed. "I'm considering it as a real possibility. Not a fantasy." She confessed. She wasn't sure what she wanted from Loki by telling him. To vent? Maybe. Yet... A great part of her still yearned for a different life. A possibility of... Something different where she could be someone different. Maybe she was someone born into the clans who simply wasn't meant for the life. It was possible.
She blinked as Loki leapt from his rock and simply... Stared at her. Did he want to say something? Was he mulling over something? She stared back, wondering what the black-furred tom would do next.
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Post by Loki on May 15, 2017 5:00:53 GMT -6
L oki shook his head and pulled his gaze away, staring at the ground a little bit further away from his paws. "I was born into what I guess you would call a clan. My father ruled it, with my mother by his side. I was told that one day, I, too, would rule the clan, but it turned out that that position was already reserved for my brother." Loki met her gaze again. "I never wanted to leave, but my brother forced me to go, and now neither him nor I can get back." The only part that gave him even the tiniest bit of peace was that his brother couldn't return, and was just as stranded as himself. |
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Post by Adaline on May 15, 2017 5:23:50 GMT -6
Brightwing's eyes widened and she looked to Loki. She sighed. ".... I feel really awkward with you... Telling me this. So, I guess..." Her gaze pulled away as well. "You know where I was born. You don't know who my family was. My mother... I doubt she's bad, but she's spineless. She was never brave enough to even try to help me when I needed it. My father never even wanted me and my siblings. As for my actual siblings..." She laughed dryly. "Two of them hate the rest of us. They claim to have strength and all they want to do is fight." She shook her head gently. "They've left me alone lately because... I don't know. I stopped caring when they hurt me. It just stopped mattering to me. Funny how they only left me alone when I gave up." She sighed. "... I have another sister. She hates me. I think she thinks I'm worse than the ones who bullied us. I'm pretty sure she wishes I would drop dead, and it wouldn't be a strike against her record."
She shrugged uselessly. ".... If I left, it's not like anyone would miss me." She pushed away the thought of Mudclaw and Swanfrost. Swanfrost wasn't her friend anymore and Mudclaw... He deserved better than she could give.
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Post by Loki on May 15, 2017 13:06:19 GMT -6
L oki smiled gently. "Sounds as bad as my family," he said. His brother was about the only one who tried, but he didn't try hard enough. His sister was bossy, and his mom wasn't around long enough. He missed his mother dearly. She was the only one who knew his pain, who cared enough to do something, while his father was a great brute. Loki swished his tail slowly, considering his next words. "If you leave..." he started, wondering if he would regret what came out of his mouth next. "I will help you. The world is different out here. You live by your own rules, not by the ones your 'great ancestors' made up. Its tougher, but all good things come at a price." |
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Post by Adaline on May 15, 2017 13:45:50 GMT -6
Brightwing wasn't sure what she was expecting, but not quite... Sympathy or understanding of some sort. She blinked. "... It's kind of hard to imagine there's another family as broken as mine." She admitted. Though, she didn't quite doubt that other cats like Almondfire and Aloepaw existed. If such cats could be born in Fireclan, she had no doubts they could exist elsewhere. Possibly without the restraints of clan life.
She looked down as she appeared to be seriously thinking on Loki's words. "Different doesn't mean bad." She sighed and lifted her head again. ".... I think I've just had enough of rules, honestly." She admitted. "I've lived my life giving everything, and I hardly got a thing in return. I'm not afraid of what hardships may lay outside of clan life."
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Post by Loki on May 15, 2017 15:18:58 GMT -6
L oki smiled his mischievous smile, since it wasn't exactly possible for him to smile without making it look like he was up to something. It was just his nature, even if he didn't have anything bad in store. He swirled around elegantly and flicked his tail. "Would you like a tour?" he asked, though he didn't expect her to leave at this moment, or even in the near future. It would be a real surprise if she stepped across the border now. |
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Post by Adaline on May 15, 2017 16:35:12 GMT -6
Brightwing stared blankly to where Loki was gesturing outside the border. Then she moved. Forward. Across the border. Once she was entirely across, she looked over her shoulder. "... Sure." She said, not sounding uncertain in the slightest. She might feel lost, more or less all of the time... But at times like this, she knew what she wanted. This wasn't just a possibility anymore. She was making a choice and she found herself caring less and less if others thought she was making a mistake.
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