Post by DewKit on Nov 10, 2010 13:27:32 GMT -6
I am working on writing a book called Whispering Winds it is about two different packs of wolves. I have even started a second book Whispering Winds A New Home. I want your opinion on the first book and how I am doing.
Humans have recently discovered a hidden Island on which the wolves with unique powers have bean discovered. Along with several other strange and unique creatures never before seen. The humans are trying to uncover the reason for these strange creatures and how they came to be.
Sky a wolf from the Mountain Pack was the first to discover the humans. Sky ends up taming up with Kyana from Meadow Pack. In hopes of discovering a new home or a way to get rid of the humans and save there beloved home.
But things get difficult when they discover Rose a six month old wolf from Meadow Pack following them. Will they have to turn back to take Rose back? Or will they allow her to come with them to discover a way to save there home?
On a ledge over the ocean stood a lone wolf. This wolf was called Sky. He held his head high and proud as he stared out into the ocean. His coat was pure white and he had the strangest eyes. They where silver blue and they where locked on a distant ship. It seemed to be headed straight for the Island on which Sky lived on. Something wasn’t right the island had always bean hidden from humans but it didn’t seam like it was any more. The wolf whipped open his silver wings and took off into the sky. He was headed for Misty Mountains to warn his pack of the coming ship.
Kyana gathered beneath an ancient tree called the Old Oak Tree that her pack held the meetings. She waited patiently for the alpha’s to show up. Today was the day she received her very first trainee. At last she spotted Cloud Spinner and Swamp Fang jumped onto a low hanging branch of the tree.
Cloud Spinner and Swamp Fang stepped forward and with there voices united they began the ceremony. “Rose you are finely old enough to become a trainee. From this day forward until you earn the title of Striker you will train under Kyana.” As one they turned from Rose to Kyana and looked down at her. “Kyana this is a big responsibility and this is your first trainee. If this get hard do not be afraid to ask for help from one of the Senior Strikers who have trained others before you.”
Kyana stepped forward and bowed her head respectfully. “I understand and appreciate the chance to teach one of the future strikers.” Kyana than walked over to Rose and gently placed her right paw on Rose’s shoulder. “I Kyana promise to teach you all that I know and guide you through all of the difficulties that you may go through until you graduate to a Striker and earn your true name.”
Rose blinked gratefully and smiled “I Rose promise to train hard and obey the pack code so that one day I may travel to the Forbidden Mountains to become a Striker and receive my true name.”
Cloud Spinner nodded her approval than jumped down from the branch and added over to Rose and Kyana. “I have much faith in you Kyana I am sure you will teach this little one all that you know.” With that she turned and headed back to camp.
Swamp Fang lingered on the branch for a little longer before fallowing Cloud Spinner back to camp.
Rose watched the alpha’s leave the meeting area than let out a deep breath. She hadn’t realized she had bean holding until than. “So when do we start my training Kyana?”
Kyana laughed and nuzzled Rose. “We shall start bright and early tomorrow for now you should greet your new cave companions.”
Out of the group of wolves stepped a light yellow wolf named Lilly Blossom. She ran right up to Rose and nuzzled her. “Congratulations Rose I am so proud of you. I can’t believe my baby girl is finally a trainee. Your brothers and sisters are all so jealous that you became a trainee before them.”
Rose shuffled her paws against the grass embarrassed. “Mom quit it I isn’t a pup no more so please stop treating me like one. “Though deep inside she was glad her mom had come over here. “Do you think that when I make the trip to the Forbidden Mountains I’ll find out why I’m the only one in the pack with wings? There has to be a reason right? Maybe the Mountain Pack wolves can help me they have wings.”
A dark gray wolf names Stone padded up behind Rose. “Don’t you worry your pretty little red head about that right now rose. You need to concentrate on your training right now not why you are the only one with wings in the pack,” he said in a gruff voice.
Rose smiled at her father and mother than nodded her head. “Your right I’ll train harder than any other trainee just wait and see.” Rose than turned and walked a few feet from the others before opening her wings and taking off into the sky. The others followed her on foot as they headed back to camp.
Back in the Misty Mountains Sky and returned to camp. He quickly headed for the alphas den to deliever the news of the ship. As he padded up to the entrance he could hear them talking in the back. Suddenly a light breeze bale at Sky’s pelt he knew his scent would be carried into the cave by the wind.
Night stood up and shook the dirt and grass off his pelt. As he shook his pelt he caught the scent of his only son Sky. “Sky come in we know your are out there,” he said in a low growl like voice.
Sky slowly padded into the cave. What little light reached the back of the cave shown of Star’s yellow pelt and Night’s dark black pelt. “I have just come from the Ocean Ledge where I have seen a human ship heading straight for our Island. They should reach the shore on the western side of the island in less than forty eight hours. We need to do something to keep them from reaching our shores.
Star’s deep green eyes met with Night’s yellow one for only a fraction of a second. Slowly she stood up and stepped towards Sky. “Sky I know you mean well but have we not seen dozens of of human ships before? None of them have ever reached our shored. Surely this ship just looks like it is heading for the island. You will see in a couple days the ship will be along with it’s humans will be long gone.”
Sky shook his head “something is different this time I feel it in my bones. These humans will not just disappear along with the rest. They will land on our shores if we do not do something.”
Night stomped his paw down hard, “that is enough Sky you are our son there for we have given you slack in the past but I will not take this. Go do something worth while and forget all this nonsense. That is FINAL,” she snarled. He than laid down ending the discussion.
Sky lowered his head and slowly walked out of the cave. Maybe his parents where right. Slowly he let out a sigh and shook his head. He looked around camp and noticed the kill pile was almost empty. Immediately he thought that this could be his chance to spend more time with Fern Hear. Using his tracking ability he looked for her. Almost at ounce he could sense her in the strikers cave. Slowly Sky headed for the thorn bush witch covered the entrance to an underground cave the strikers used to sleep in. He slowly stepped into the cave and looked around. He could see five other wolves besides Fern Heart sleeping.
Fern Heart, Fern Hear wake up” Sky whispered. When she didn’t wake up Sky stepped quietly around the sleeping forms until he reached her. He gently prodded her with his paw.
Huh….what…Sky? What is it?” Fern Hear mumbled slowly she stood up and gave her pelt a shake. “Sky why did you wake me up?”
Sky let out a low laugh and than nuzzled her. “I was hopping you and I could got hunting in the High Meadows together.” Sky looked down at his paws nervously.
Fern Heart softly smiled at Sky “ok sounds like fun. I’ll meet you out side so we don’t wake the other’s.” With that she stepped around the others and than headed up and out of the cave.
Sky quickly followed her out of the cave. “Ok shall we leave right away the and took off. The pack could use the food,” he said motioning towards the little bit of food on the kill pile.
Fern Heart looked to the stump where they put there kills by and frowned. “Yea we should definitely leave right away.” With that she opened her golden wings and took off into the sky. “Race you to High Meadows,” she called over her shoulders and took off.
Sky laughed and quickly followed her. “No fair you got a head start,” he called teasingly. Together they raced down the Mountain until they reached the High Meadow which was half way up the mountain or down the mountain depending on which way you where going.
Fern Heart landed first in the meadows. “That was fun we should do it again some time,” she panted trying to catch her breath.
Sky landed besides her panting to hard to talk at first “You cheated no one ever beats me,” he laughed and tackled her playfully. Just as he was about to swipe her ear he hear the heart beat of a rabbit hiding under a bush near by. He stopped and flew into the air signaling for Fern Heart to be quiet. A few minutes past before a large gray rabbit hopped out from under the bush. Tucking his wings into his side he landed on the rabbit and bit down on it’s neck. He could taste the rabbits blood rush into his mouth. The rabbit gave one struggle to get free but his fall on the rabbit had broken it’s back. It couldn’t do to much. Finely the rabbit stopped moving. Sky gave a quick word of thanks to Sky Pack before carrying it over to Fern Heart.
Fern Heart nuzzled Sky, “great catch, though we should probably split up we’ll catch more that way I think.”
ooc that isn't even the full chapter. I didn't want to over whelm you. I'll post more when I get back from Florida on the 21st
Plot
Humans have recently discovered a hidden Island on which the wolves with unique powers have bean discovered. Along with several other strange and unique creatures never before seen. The humans are trying to uncover the reason for these strange creatures and how they came to be.
Sky a wolf from the Mountain Pack was the first to discover the humans. Sky ends up taming up with Kyana from Meadow Pack. In hopes of discovering a new home or a way to get rid of the humans and save there beloved home.
But things get difficult when they discover Rose a six month old wolf from Meadow Pack following them. Will they have to turn back to take Rose back? Or will they allow her to come with them to discover a way to save there home?
Chapter 1
On a ledge over the ocean stood a lone wolf. This wolf was called Sky. He held his head high and proud as he stared out into the ocean. His coat was pure white and he had the strangest eyes. They where silver blue and they where locked on a distant ship. It seemed to be headed straight for the Island on which Sky lived on. Something wasn’t right the island had always bean hidden from humans but it didn’t seam like it was any more. The wolf whipped open his silver wings and took off into the sky. He was headed for Misty Mountains to warn his pack of the coming ship.
Kyana gathered beneath an ancient tree called the Old Oak Tree that her pack held the meetings. She waited patiently for the alpha’s to show up. Today was the day she received her very first trainee. At last she spotted Cloud Spinner and Swamp Fang jumped onto a low hanging branch of the tree.
Cloud Spinner and Swamp Fang stepped forward and with there voices united they began the ceremony. “Rose you are finely old enough to become a trainee. From this day forward until you earn the title of Striker you will train under Kyana.” As one they turned from Rose to Kyana and looked down at her. “Kyana this is a big responsibility and this is your first trainee. If this get hard do not be afraid to ask for help from one of the Senior Strikers who have trained others before you.”
Kyana stepped forward and bowed her head respectfully. “I understand and appreciate the chance to teach one of the future strikers.” Kyana than walked over to Rose and gently placed her right paw on Rose’s shoulder. “I Kyana promise to teach you all that I know and guide you through all of the difficulties that you may go through until you graduate to a Striker and earn your true name.”
Rose blinked gratefully and smiled “I Rose promise to train hard and obey the pack code so that one day I may travel to the Forbidden Mountains to become a Striker and receive my true name.”
Cloud Spinner nodded her approval than jumped down from the branch and added over to Rose and Kyana. “I have much faith in you Kyana I am sure you will teach this little one all that you know.” With that she turned and headed back to camp.
Swamp Fang lingered on the branch for a little longer before fallowing Cloud Spinner back to camp.
Rose watched the alpha’s leave the meeting area than let out a deep breath. She hadn’t realized she had bean holding until than. “So when do we start my training Kyana?”
Kyana laughed and nuzzled Rose. “We shall start bright and early tomorrow for now you should greet your new cave companions.”
Out of the group of wolves stepped a light yellow wolf named Lilly Blossom. She ran right up to Rose and nuzzled her. “Congratulations Rose I am so proud of you. I can’t believe my baby girl is finally a trainee. Your brothers and sisters are all so jealous that you became a trainee before them.”
Rose shuffled her paws against the grass embarrassed. “Mom quit it I isn’t a pup no more so please stop treating me like one. “Though deep inside she was glad her mom had come over here. “Do you think that when I make the trip to the Forbidden Mountains I’ll find out why I’m the only one in the pack with wings? There has to be a reason right? Maybe the Mountain Pack wolves can help me they have wings.”
A dark gray wolf names Stone padded up behind Rose. “Don’t you worry your pretty little red head about that right now rose. You need to concentrate on your training right now not why you are the only one with wings in the pack,” he said in a gruff voice.
Rose smiled at her father and mother than nodded her head. “Your right I’ll train harder than any other trainee just wait and see.” Rose than turned and walked a few feet from the others before opening her wings and taking off into the sky. The others followed her on foot as they headed back to camp.
Back in the Misty Mountains Sky and returned to camp. He quickly headed for the alphas den to deliever the news of the ship. As he padded up to the entrance he could hear them talking in the back. Suddenly a light breeze bale at Sky’s pelt he knew his scent would be carried into the cave by the wind.
Night stood up and shook the dirt and grass off his pelt. As he shook his pelt he caught the scent of his only son Sky. “Sky come in we know your are out there,” he said in a low growl like voice.
Sky slowly padded into the cave. What little light reached the back of the cave shown of Star’s yellow pelt and Night’s dark black pelt. “I have just come from the Ocean Ledge where I have seen a human ship heading straight for our Island. They should reach the shore on the western side of the island in less than forty eight hours. We need to do something to keep them from reaching our shores.
Star’s deep green eyes met with Night’s yellow one for only a fraction of a second. Slowly she stood up and stepped towards Sky. “Sky I know you mean well but have we not seen dozens of of human ships before? None of them have ever reached our shored. Surely this ship just looks like it is heading for the island. You will see in a couple days the ship will be along with it’s humans will be long gone.”
Sky shook his head “something is different this time I feel it in my bones. These humans will not just disappear along with the rest. They will land on our shores if we do not do something.”
Night stomped his paw down hard, “that is enough Sky you are our son there for we have given you slack in the past but I will not take this. Go do something worth while and forget all this nonsense. That is FINAL,” she snarled. He than laid down ending the discussion.
Sky lowered his head and slowly walked out of the cave. Maybe his parents where right. Slowly he let out a sigh and shook his head. He looked around camp and noticed the kill pile was almost empty. Immediately he thought that this could be his chance to spend more time with Fern Hear. Using his tracking ability he looked for her. Almost at ounce he could sense her in the strikers cave. Slowly Sky headed for the thorn bush witch covered the entrance to an underground cave the strikers used to sleep in. He slowly stepped into the cave and looked around. He could see five other wolves besides Fern Heart sleeping.
Fern Heart, Fern Hear wake up” Sky whispered. When she didn’t wake up Sky stepped quietly around the sleeping forms until he reached her. He gently prodded her with his paw.
Huh….what…Sky? What is it?” Fern Hear mumbled slowly she stood up and gave her pelt a shake. “Sky why did you wake me up?”
Sky let out a low laugh and than nuzzled her. “I was hopping you and I could got hunting in the High Meadows together.” Sky looked down at his paws nervously.
Fern Heart softly smiled at Sky “ok sounds like fun. I’ll meet you out side so we don’t wake the other’s.” With that she stepped around the others and than headed up and out of the cave.
Sky quickly followed her out of the cave. “Ok shall we leave right away the and took off. The pack could use the food,” he said motioning towards the little bit of food on the kill pile.
Fern Heart looked to the stump where they put there kills by and frowned. “Yea we should definitely leave right away.” With that she opened her golden wings and took off into the sky. “Race you to High Meadows,” she called over her shoulders and took off.
Sky laughed and quickly followed her. “No fair you got a head start,” he called teasingly. Together they raced down the Mountain until they reached the High Meadow which was half way up the mountain or down the mountain depending on which way you where going.
Fern Heart landed first in the meadows. “That was fun we should do it again some time,” she panted trying to catch her breath.
Sky landed besides her panting to hard to talk at first “You cheated no one ever beats me,” he laughed and tackled her playfully. Just as he was about to swipe her ear he hear the heart beat of a rabbit hiding under a bush near by. He stopped and flew into the air signaling for Fern Heart to be quiet. A few minutes past before a large gray rabbit hopped out from under the bush. Tucking his wings into his side he landed on the rabbit and bit down on it’s neck. He could taste the rabbits blood rush into his mouth. The rabbit gave one struggle to get free but his fall on the rabbit had broken it’s back. It couldn’t do to much. Finely the rabbit stopped moving. Sky gave a quick word of thanks to Sky Pack before carrying it over to Fern Heart.
Fern Heart nuzzled Sky, “great catch, though we should probably split up we’ll catch more that way I think.”
ooc that isn't even the full chapter. I didn't want to over whelm you. I'll post more when I get back from Florida on the 21st
I know I have allot of work but I am new to the writing I'll get better