Hows this

[Sanddapple]

Here you go oh P.S. this takes place in the 1940's
Malorie walked down the steps to where her breakfast was waiting as usual it was total chaos her brothers were chasing each other and her twin sister well was running around like a nut-bird her ma had breakfast set out but nothing was in order."The newspaper says that Ray Elizard has gone into retirement Lizzie."Her Pa said to ma"Well it's like him to give up like that easily Dave" Ma replied"Bird stop it!"A shout came from across the table it was her bro Paul or P.Before Malorie could sit down chaos turned to fear...a siren a loud siren the one of a tornado she soon heard a roaring louder than 60 trains!

[perceus500]

You've got a 4/10 from me. The reason for the low score is that it's not long enough, and doesn't contain enough information for a solid storyline that I can understand. I see no spelling or grammar errors (at least for the lingo of the '40s), and overall, it's pretty good.

[Sanddapple]

I know it's not long I add to it when I'm bored.

[greycloud]

I will admit it could be longer. Plus, despite a few family things I dont see the difference from the 40's to now.

but the sotry in general was prety good, short and sweet. I'm giving it a five.

[Wildwind]

It needs a lot of work.
Too many run on sentences and if you read it over much,
Somethings aren't that clear.
And the siren thing happened too fast.