Post by Whitefire on Feb 28, 2011 14:57:57 GMT -6
Hi. *cough* My story? *cough* Please critique *cough*
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Theresa swirled in her new, blue, flowery dress. It was made of silk, from Afghanistan. The dress was a delcate, a fine piece of material. It flowed silkily down her body, her body dancing to the music. She clapped, startling herself from the dream. She woke, sighing with pleasure. She sat up and combed her silky black hair. She grabbed a blue hair band and put her hair up. She stuckl a blue flower into it and put on her blue flower dress. She sighed with pleasure as it flowed down her nicely fitted body. She twirled, her blue eyes sparkling with health. Today was the day she had the dance at school. She smiled and danced out of the room. She soon arrived at school, and danced the night away.
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Pleas oh please critique!!!!!!
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Theresa swirled in her new, blue, flowery dress. It was made of silk, from Afghanistan. The dress was a delcate, a fine piece of material. It flowed silkily down her body, her body dancing to the music. She clapped, startling herself from the dream. She woke, sighing with pleasure. She sat up and combed her silky black hair. She grabbed a blue hair band and put her hair up. She stuckl a blue flower into it and put on her blue flower dress. She sighed with pleasure as it flowed down her nicely fitted body. She twirled, her blue eyes sparkling with health. Today was the day she had the dance at school. She smiled and danced out of the room. She soon arrived at school, and danced the night away.
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Pleas oh please critique!!!!!!
