MoonBeam
Warrior
Alpha Female of Blaze of Stars[Mo0:15]
Posts: 115
|
Post by MoonBeam on Mar 4, 2011 23:35:44 GMT -6
Here is a poem i made becuase i love the moon and stars,what do u think?: As the sun set in the horizen,the moon appeared like a shadow during the summer sun, the air turned crisp and cold as a winters breeze, the stars danced around like a perfect malodie, as the people slept through this world makeing it peaceful and calm, as kids slept in this peaceful world we called home, the universe is like a neighborhood moon,sun and stars are family, all should be love and cared for. never mind, i already saw the 4 votes in the "No like catagorie"
|
|
|
Post by warriorrocks on Mar 5, 2011 7:08:37 GMT -6
It's good just the grammar that can make it sound a bit better example the sun set in the horizon, see how it sounds better then setted, which is not a word lol but oh well if you read it with the correct grammar it's actually pretty good. Good job.
|
|
MoonBeam
Warrior
Alpha Female of Blaze of Stars[Mo0:15]
Posts: 115
|
Post by MoonBeam on Mar 5, 2011 11:27:08 GMT -6
Yay,Thank you very much
|
|
|
Post by warriorrocks on Mar 5, 2011 12:53:36 GMT -6
No problem lol
|
|
|
Post by Athena on Mar 5, 2011 20:09:44 GMT -6
I Liked it, it has beauty and style!
|
|