Post by Whitefire on Mar 19, 2011 10:24:09 GMT -6
Or whatever it says in spanish in the title.
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Erm...... how's this and please critic. I'm working to improve my writing skills. Please critic. This is important to me....
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I opened my eyes and a burn so bad, it hurt my throat of my newborn immortal body. My head was clogged, far more than I expected. Everything was sharp and sweet. My eyes were a really dark amber, as cruelty flashed across my face.
An evil vampire at heart, I tried to be good. I was succesful, as my heart slowed to a stop. A thirst so bad, so bad it was, burned my throat at a 300 degree burn. I grunted and cleared my throat as my spit went down.
I rose, as I saw in a mirror, such beauty from the person in it. I twirled as my head cleared. The person in the mirror twirled. I bared my teeth and the person in the mirror bared her teeth. That's when I heard my daughter.
I turned and faced my new sister, Catherine face to face. Let me see Carlie at once. I hissed, and lunged at her, my powerful newborn jaws snapping at her throat at once. Harold and Thomas caught my arms at once.....
Hissing, I tore away from them and tackled Catherine. She held tight to Carlie and I bared my teeth and hissed the most frightening hiss ever.
Carlie began to cry, tears that sparkled, tears that ran down her cheeks. I stopped in mid-hiss and marveled at my daughter's beauty. Taking her from Catherine, I hissed a warning at her.
She cowered underneath my arms, silently crying tearless sobs. I smiled at my daughter and cooed. A beautiful coo, a gurgle from my throat began in a lullabye tune that I had known for awhile.
It escaped my throat and Carlie immediately topped crying and seemed mesmerized by it. She laughed, a bell-like sound, rippling through the airs. Beginning from her throat, the bell-like sound escaped, as if a million fairies tinkled through the air.
We all froze, and suddenly began laughing. My bell-like laugh also rippled through the air. I cooed again and she laughed once more, us going into hysterics each time.
Oh, the joy of laughing, the beauty of being mesmerized, the more we laughed, the more she laughed.
As we stepped out into the sunshine, my skin was covered in glimmering sparkles, shining on my skin. I was mesmerized by the beauty of my daughter's skin.
Her skin sparkled, and the sparkles danced among her skin. Edmund watched me, mesmerized by my beauty.......
[/center]An evil vampire at heart, I tried to be good. I was succesful, as my heart slowed to a stop. A thirst so bad, so bad it was, burned my throat at a 300 degree burn. I grunted and cleared my throat as my spit went down.
I rose, as I saw in a mirror, such beauty from the person in it. I twirled as my head cleared. The person in the mirror twirled. I bared my teeth and the person in the mirror bared her teeth. That's when I heard my daughter.
I turned and faced my new sister, Catherine face to face. Let me see Carlie at once. I hissed, and lunged at her, my powerful newborn jaws snapping at her throat at once. Harold and Thomas caught my arms at once.....
Hissing, I tore away from them and tackled Catherine. She held tight to Carlie and I bared my teeth and hissed the most frightening hiss ever.
Carlie began to cry, tears that sparkled, tears that ran down her cheeks. I stopped in mid-hiss and marveled at my daughter's beauty. Taking her from Catherine, I hissed a warning at her.
She cowered underneath my arms, silently crying tearless sobs. I smiled at my daughter and cooed. A beautiful coo, a gurgle from my throat began in a lullabye tune that I had known for awhile.
It escaped my throat and Carlie immediately topped crying and seemed mesmerized by it. She laughed, a bell-like sound, rippling through the airs. Beginning from her throat, the bell-like sound escaped, as if a million fairies tinkled through the air.
We all froze, and suddenly began laughing. My bell-like laugh also rippled through the air. I cooed again and she laughed once more, us going into hysterics each time.
Oh, the joy of laughing, the beauty of being mesmerized, the more we laughed, the more she laughed.
As we stepped out into the sunshine, my skin was covered in glimmering sparkles, shining on my skin. I was mesmerized by the beauty of my daughter's skin.
Her skin sparkled, and the sparkles danced among her skin. Edmund watched me, mesmerized by my beauty.......
___________________________________________
Erm...... how's this and please critic. I'm working to improve my writing skills. Please critic. This is important to me....
