Post by Oakspirit on May 15, 2011 23:14:21 GMT -6
BEFORE I START THE STORY: I started this ages ago. And I haven't reviewed it since. It's the start of a first draft, no harsh criticism, yes?
Chapter 1
“Mother, why have I got to be my sister’s servant again?” Kembry of Dunvin asked yet again. She and her mother, Lady Hathir, sat by the hearth, embroidering pale cream flowers on Alistia’s white wedding dress. Kembry--or Kem as some called her--was to be her sister’s lady in waiting after her marriage to Prince Farrow of Prestim, heir to the kingdom of Lokkhart. Alistia and Kembry’s father, Sir Marlow of Dunvin, was a cousin of King Lennard, and both had agreed that Alistia was the perfect queen of Lokkhart. Kembry herself didn’t agree. Alistia was quiet and polite around the adults, but bossy and nasty when she was alone with Kembry. But no matter how many times she told her parents this, they always said that she was lying and jealous and ought to be more like her sister.
“Because, dear, your sister will need someone from home to be with her when she’s brand new to the palace. And you are not her servant, you are to be her lady in waiting, there is a difference you know.” Her mother’s words brought a wave of fury to Kembry. Like many others, Lady Hathir though Alistia was a quiet, shy girl. Kem looked down at her embroidery, knowing better than to make any sort of remark. Her mother’s fingers deftly placed each tiny stitch in the fabric. Lady Hathir had made more flowers than Kem did. She had to focus on her work, not nearly as fast nor efficient as her mother was.
Kem was a average sized girl, just past fourteen years of age. She had thick, gold-brown hair that hung about her shoulders and a light set of bangs that, with the help of her cowlick, curved over her forehead to end just above her eyes. She had stone-gray eyes, a small nose, and a soft chin. Her face was round, and her eyes appeared large and cute. Her skin was a peachy-tan color, a result of hours outside on her horse. The girl thought herself average-looking, but a few of the stable boys apparently didn’t agree.
Kem’s mother, on the other hand, was a pretty woman, with thick brown hair that would have gone down her back if it were not pinned up. She had hazel-green eyes and a heart-shaped face. Her nose was her biggest flaw, it stuck up much like a pig’s.
Kem’s very own sister, Alistia, walked into the room. She smiled in that maidenly way that made Kem want to slap her. The bride to be walked up to where her mother and sister worked on her dress. Her dark blond hair was in a braid that hung down just beyond her shoulders. She had her mother’s eyes and face, with the exception of her nose and cheekbones. Alistia’s nose was small, like her sister’s and her cheekbone’s higher placed. At the age of nineteen, Alistia was totally spoiled.
“Can I see it?” she asked.
Kem couldn’t help snorting. Lady Hathir threw her a stern glare.
“Of course, dearest.” On her mother’s command, Kem finished up the flower she was working on and snipped the thread. Lady Hathir held up her eldest daughter’s wedding dress.
It was made of a soft linen that draped around one’s body like silk. The collar was high, but flowery lace covered most of the wearer’s upper chest area. The sleeves were loose by the shoulders, as was the fashion these days, but tight fitting down the arm, ending at the wrist. The bodice was where Kembry’s embroidery had been placed. Flowery garlands of cream thread covered the wearer’s waist and hips. The skirt was long and flowing. Lady Hathir had been embroidering the scattered flowers in such a way that they looked like falling petals from Kem’s work. The skirt ended with a border of more flowers.
Kem had to admit the dress was very pretty. It wasn’t quite risqué but very fashionable and classy, while still remaining traditional. The embroidery on the bodice looked more complicated than it actually was to sew.
But Alistia had to notice something wrong with it. One of Kem’s stitched flowers was a bit out of place.
“What happened here?” Alistia asked in an innocent voice, pointing at Kem’s slight mistake. Kembry’s ears were pink with fury. Her sister just had to find something wrong with her embroidery. Why didn’t she just make her own dress then? Kem wanted to shout and yell like a spoiled toddler, but remained silent, her fists clenched at her sides.
Lady Hathir looked at the flower. “Why, I don’t see anything wrong, dearest,” Kem always noticed how she was always ‘dear’ and Alistia was ‘dearest’.
Alistia shrugged. She never argued with her parents, she saved that for Kem. Instead, she took the dress from her mother’s hands and held it up to herself. Smiling, she twirled around with it.
“I love it, Mother,” Kem’s sister gushed, “I thank you greatly.”
Kem felt like screaming. Never mind all of the work she put into the dress, she was only the little sister.
“Mother, can I go out?” Kem asked, straining to remain friendly. She always cooled down when she was out in the fresh air. It cleared her mind and helped her to make better decisions.
Sensing her younger daughter’s impending angry blow-up, Lady Hathir readily agreed.[/pre]
*****
Kem walked into the large building that her father had dedicated to his birds of prey. There were trees in large clay pots scattered around the room, each had a large nest in it. Her father had put much effort into making this place comfortable for the birds. Most nobles kept their hawks and falcons in cages, but they didn’t have a daughter who could speak with animals.
Kem had the rare gift of animal magic. They called it the Freemark. Alistia had a small Mark, which was quite common. The Mark was a magical talent in humans. Its not uncommon for one to have a small Mark. Not many had a Mark that was great enough for battling multiple mages. Most Marked people could light candles and heal cuts.
Kem, like people who were Marked, was born with her ability. She had always understood the creatures around her, and for the longest time, she thought it was perfectly normal. Later her parents noticed the way she laughed at the squirrel’s chattering, as if she got a joke they did not. Then was when Kem was aware of her rare ability.
The birds were excited to see Kem. They liked her a lot. To them, she was the smartest up-walker in the big house. Kem sat down on a rock that was in the room as decoration. Her own hawk, Brenna landed next to her.
Kembry, why are you in such a mood? Is it your sister again? Brenna knew Kem better than the other birds. The girl ran her finger over the hawk’s head.
Brenna was a red-tailed hawk. She had been born in the room where Kem sat, and she grew up there as well. She was trained as a hunter, and given to Kem on her tenth birthday. Kem stroked the bird’s beak.
“Yes, its Alistia again. She just has to find something wrong with everything I do,” Kem confessed to her bird-friend. “I don’t get why I have to go with her to the palace though.” Her gray eyes were misty with held-back tears of frustration. One escaped and ran down her cheek.
Oh, Kembry, Kembry. The hark wiped away the tear with her beak. It will all make sense some day, I promise. Brenna poked her beak close to Kem’s face.
Kem couldn’t help but smile. Her hawk was like a mother to the girl. Blinking tears away from her eyes, she stood and dusted her hands of on her dress, as if ridding herself of her mood. A smile was now on her face.
“You’re ring, Brenna,” The girl said. Kem put on a thick glove, the kind lords wear when hunting. “Come on, lets take a walk.” She said as she lowered her arm so Brenna could hop onto her covered wrist.
Kem strolled casually out of the birdhouse with Brenna perched on her arm. The pair walked down the path to the stables, neither really paying attention to where they were going.
Kem reviewed the earlier encounter with her sister. How was that creature supposed to rule Lokkhart? The spoiled pig her parents called a daughter would only care for herself, not the kingdom. Kem would bet almost anything that if this country was economically troubled, Alistia would buy party dresses from their neighboring country Oplin.
Kem was too busy imagining Alistia’s face on a pig to notice the man in front of her. Brenna poked her cheek with her beak to get her attention, but it was a bit to late. Kem walked right into the big belly of an average sized man. Brenna cawed and flew off of Kem’s gloved wrist, laughing to herself.
“Go on, Brenna, you!” Kem shouted half angry, half laughing at the bird. “Back to the hawk house with you!” When the laughing bird flew off in the direction of her home, Kem turned back to the man she walked into.
The man had a jolly face, round and pudgy, every feature smiling. The face was surrounded by thinning once-golden hair, now gray. Gray eyes danced merrily as he too, laughed at their odd collision.
Kem smiled up at the face, recognizing it easily. What daughter would forget the face of her father?
Sir Marlow of Dunvin grinned back at his daughter. Though Alistia was older, and in his wife’s opinion more responsible, Kem was his favorite child.
“What’s this? A fine young lady on a walk with her happy hunting hawk?” Kem’s father laughed, “What do you say we take a ride together, shall we?”
“Why of course, dear sir,” Kem smiled back at her father, they were playing her favorite game.
Many ‘fine lady’s and ‘dear sir’s later, that father-daughter duo found themselves at the stable. Kem smiled as Nip the stable boy lead their saddled mounts out into the little dirt path where they stood.
“Fine lady, may I assist you onto your horse?”
“Thanks greatly dear sir, but I can manage myself,”
“Aye, you can, lass,” Nip joined the game with his poor boy drawl, “But ‘cha ain’t got chur’ ridin’ ‘abit on, now does ye?”
The three laughed merrily. The girl and the man swung up onto their horses, waving a goodbye to the boy. Still laughing, the pair proceeded down their usual trail on their four legged friends.
Kem’s horse was a creamy brown mare with a pale mane. The horse was smaller, but not pony-sized. Her deep brown eyes that reflected light intelligently was what had drawn Kembry to name her Flicker.
On the other hand, her father’s horse was a dark chestnut gelding. It was a big horse, her father used to joust on his back. The horse had a even darker chestnut mane and a snip of white on his lip. Sir Marlow called this big beauty War Drum.
“You sister is getting married in three days,” Sir Marlow dropped their game, “Do you and your mother have her dress finished?”
Kem sighed. This was her least favorite topic. “Nearly done, Father,” The girl ran her fingers through her horse’s creamy mane.
“I thought you’d be excited, going off to the palace.”
“Oh, its not that I’m upset about. Its being sentenced to a life of serving her,”
The knight and father stared at Kem. The girl really did not like her sister. How odd; when they were young, the two girls always played together. They didn’t start fighting until Alistia was around Kem’s age.
Distracted by his thoughts, the knight did not notice the his daughter’s sudden stiffness. Kem had seen something through the few trees around their path. She strained her back and neck for a better look, catching glimpses of white horses and a finely dress young man. Kem had no doubt who that was.
“Father! it’s the prince! He’s come for a visit!”
--
Ch 2
Prince Farlow sighed. As much as he liked riding his horse, he dreaded this trip. The big black gelding under the saddle recognized his master’s anticipation and dread. He tossed his glossy head up and down, trying to make the prince laugh.
And laugh he did! “Easy now Dagger,” Farlow puffed between his giggles. But his joy was only temporary. Looking down the dirt and stone road, the heir to Lokkhart remembered the conversation he and his father shared earlier that day.
The two had been playing checkers, since neither liked chess much. Looking down at the board, Farrow had tree pieces, one of which Kings. On the other hand, King Lennard had five chips, none of which kings.
“My son, your wedding is in three days and you have not yet met your bride,” the king jumped one of Farlow’s pieces, leaving him with a king and a normal chip.
“I know, Father, I know,” Farrow moved his only king to safety.
“Why don’t you ride down to Dunvin today and court the fine young lady for a bit,” The king moved a piece. “King me,”
Farlow put anther chip on top of the one that just made it to his side of the board. “I suppose I should,” he murmured. “Hah! Take that!”
The king scowled as Farlow jumped his only king. He swiftly jumped the piece that took his victory. Farlow proceeded to try and take as many chips as he could.
“I’ll have a stable hand saddle up your Dagger,” the king smiled, “I win,”
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Chapter 1
“Mother, why have I got to be my sister’s servant again?” Kembry of Dunvin asked yet again. She and her mother, Lady Hathir, sat by the hearth, embroidering pale cream flowers on Alistia’s white wedding dress. Kembry--or Kem as some called her--was to be her sister’s lady in waiting after her marriage to Prince Farrow of Prestim, heir to the kingdom of Lokkhart. Alistia and Kembry’s father, Sir Marlow of Dunvin, was a cousin of King Lennard, and both had agreed that Alistia was the perfect queen of Lokkhart. Kembry herself didn’t agree. Alistia was quiet and polite around the adults, but bossy and nasty when she was alone with Kembry. But no matter how many times she told her parents this, they always said that she was lying and jealous and ought to be more like her sister.
“Because, dear, your sister will need someone from home to be with her when she’s brand new to the palace. And you are not her servant, you are to be her lady in waiting, there is a difference you know.” Her mother’s words brought a wave of fury to Kembry. Like many others, Lady Hathir though Alistia was a quiet, shy girl. Kem looked down at her embroidery, knowing better than to make any sort of remark. Her mother’s fingers deftly placed each tiny stitch in the fabric. Lady Hathir had made more flowers than Kem did. She had to focus on her work, not nearly as fast nor efficient as her mother was.
Kem was a average sized girl, just past fourteen years of age. She had thick, gold-brown hair that hung about her shoulders and a light set of bangs that, with the help of her cowlick, curved over her forehead to end just above her eyes. She had stone-gray eyes, a small nose, and a soft chin. Her face was round, and her eyes appeared large and cute. Her skin was a peachy-tan color, a result of hours outside on her horse. The girl thought herself average-looking, but a few of the stable boys apparently didn’t agree.
Kem’s mother, on the other hand, was a pretty woman, with thick brown hair that would have gone down her back if it were not pinned up. She had hazel-green eyes and a heart-shaped face. Her nose was her biggest flaw, it stuck up much like a pig’s.
Kem’s very own sister, Alistia, walked into the room. She smiled in that maidenly way that made Kem want to slap her. The bride to be walked up to where her mother and sister worked on her dress. Her dark blond hair was in a braid that hung down just beyond her shoulders. She had her mother’s eyes and face, with the exception of her nose and cheekbones. Alistia’s nose was small, like her sister’s and her cheekbone’s higher placed. At the age of nineteen, Alistia was totally spoiled.
“Can I see it?” she asked.
Kem couldn’t help snorting. Lady Hathir threw her a stern glare.
“Of course, dearest.” On her mother’s command, Kem finished up the flower she was working on and snipped the thread. Lady Hathir held up her eldest daughter’s wedding dress.
It was made of a soft linen that draped around one’s body like silk. The collar was high, but flowery lace covered most of the wearer’s upper chest area. The sleeves were loose by the shoulders, as was the fashion these days, but tight fitting down the arm, ending at the wrist. The bodice was where Kembry’s embroidery had been placed. Flowery garlands of cream thread covered the wearer’s waist and hips. The skirt was long and flowing. Lady Hathir had been embroidering the scattered flowers in such a way that they looked like falling petals from Kem’s work. The skirt ended with a border of more flowers.
Kem had to admit the dress was very pretty. It wasn’t quite risqué but very fashionable and classy, while still remaining traditional. The embroidery on the bodice looked more complicated than it actually was to sew.
But Alistia had to notice something wrong with it. One of Kem’s stitched flowers was a bit out of place.
“What happened here?” Alistia asked in an innocent voice, pointing at Kem’s slight mistake. Kembry’s ears were pink with fury. Her sister just had to find something wrong with her embroidery. Why didn’t she just make her own dress then? Kem wanted to shout and yell like a spoiled toddler, but remained silent, her fists clenched at her sides.
Lady Hathir looked at the flower. “Why, I don’t see anything wrong, dearest,” Kem always noticed how she was always ‘dear’ and Alistia was ‘dearest’.
Alistia shrugged. She never argued with her parents, she saved that for Kem. Instead, she took the dress from her mother’s hands and held it up to herself. Smiling, she twirled around with it.
“I love it, Mother,” Kem’s sister gushed, “I thank you greatly.”
Kem felt like screaming. Never mind all of the work she put into the dress, she was only the little sister.
“Mother, can I go out?” Kem asked, straining to remain friendly. She always cooled down when she was out in the fresh air. It cleared her mind and helped her to make better decisions.
Sensing her younger daughter’s impending angry blow-up, Lady Hathir readily agreed.[/pre]
*****
Kem walked into the large building that her father had dedicated to his birds of prey. There were trees in large clay pots scattered around the room, each had a large nest in it. Her father had put much effort into making this place comfortable for the birds. Most nobles kept their hawks and falcons in cages, but they didn’t have a daughter who could speak with animals.
Kem had the rare gift of animal magic. They called it the Freemark. Alistia had a small Mark, which was quite common. The Mark was a magical talent in humans. Its not uncommon for one to have a small Mark. Not many had a Mark that was great enough for battling multiple mages. Most Marked people could light candles and heal cuts.
Kem, like people who were Marked, was born with her ability. She had always understood the creatures around her, and for the longest time, she thought it was perfectly normal. Later her parents noticed the way she laughed at the squirrel’s chattering, as if she got a joke they did not. Then was when Kem was aware of her rare ability.
The birds were excited to see Kem. They liked her a lot. To them, she was the smartest up-walker in the big house. Kem sat down on a rock that was in the room as decoration. Her own hawk, Brenna landed next to her.
Kembry, why are you in such a mood? Is it your sister again? Brenna knew Kem better than the other birds. The girl ran her finger over the hawk’s head.
Brenna was a red-tailed hawk. She had been born in the room where Kem sat, and she grew up there as well. She was trained as a hunter, and given to Kem on her tenth birthday. Kem stroked the bird’s beak.
“Yes, its Alistia again. She just has to find something wrong with everything I do,” Kem confessed to her bird-friend. “I don’t get why I have to go with her to the palace though.” Her gray eyes were misty with held-back tears of frustration. One escaped and ran down her cheek.
Oh, Kembry, Kembry. The hark wiped away the tear with her beak. It will all make sense some day, I promise. Brenna poked her beak close to Kem’s face.
Kem couldn’t help but smile. Her hawk was like a mother to the girl. Blinking tears away from her eyes, she stood and dusted her hands of on her dress, as if ridding herself of her mood. A smile was now on her face.
“You’re ring, Brenna,” The girl said. Kem put on a thick glove, the kind lords wear when hunting. “Come on, lets take a walk.” She said as she lowered her arm so Brenna could hop onto her covered wrist.
Kem strolled casually out of the birdhouse with Brenna perched on her arm. The pair walked down the path to the stables, neither really paying attention to where they were going.
Kem reviewed the earlier encounter with her sister. How was that creature supposed to rule Lokkhart? The spoiled pig her parents called a daughter would only care for herself, not the kingdom. Kem would bet almost anything that if this country was economically troubled, Alistia would buy party dresses from their neighboring country Oplin.
Kem was too busy imagining Alistia’s face on a pig to notice the man in front of her. Brenna poked her cheek with her beak to get her attention, but it was a bit to late. Kem walked right into the big belly of an average sized man. Brenna cawed and flew off of Kem’s gloved wrist, laughing to herself.
“Go on, Brenna, you!” Kem shouted half angry, half laughing at the bird. “Back to the hawk house with you!” When the laughing bird flew off in the direction of her home, Kem turned back to the man she walked into.
The man had a jolly face, round and pudgy, every feature smiling. The face was surrounded by thinning once-golden hair, now gray. Gray eyes danced merrily as he too, laughed at their odd collision.
Kem smiled up at the face, recognizing it easily. What daughter would forget the face of her father?
Sir Marlow of Dunvin grinned back at his daughter. Though Alistia was older, and in his wife’s opinion more responsible, Kem was his favorite child.
“What’s this? A fine young lady on a walk with her happy hunting hawk?” Kem’s father laughed, “What do you say we take a ride together, shall we?”
“Why of course, dear sir,” Kem smiled back at her father, they were playing her favorite game.
Many ‘fine lady’s and ‘dear sir’s later, that father-daughter duo found themselves at the stable. Kem smiled as Nip the stable boy lead their saddled mounts out into the little dirt path where they stood.
“Fine lady, may I assist you onto your horse?”
“Thanks greatly dear sir, but I can manage myself,”
“Aye, you can, lass,” Nip joined the game with his poor boy drawl, “But ‘cha ain’t got chur’ ridin’ ‘abit on, now does ye?”
The three laughed merrily. The girl and the man swung up onto their horses, waving a goodbye to the boy. Still laughing, the pair proceeded down their usual trail on their four legged friends.
Kem’s horse was a creamy brown mare with a pale mane. The horse was smaller, but not pony-sized. Her deep brown eyes that reflected light intelligently was what had drawn Kembry to name her Flicker.
On the other hand, her father’s horse was a dark chestnut gelding. It was a big horse, her father used to joust on his back. The horse had a even darker chestnut mane and a snip of white on his lip. Sir Marlow called this big beauty War Drum.
“You sister is getting married in three days,” Sir Marlow dropped their game, “Do you and your mother have her dress finished?”
Kem sighed. This was her least favorite topic. “Nearly done, Father,” The girl ran her fingers through her horse’s creamy mane.
“I thought you’d be excited, going off to the palace.”
“Oh, its not that I’m upset about. Its being sentenced to a life of serving her,”
The knight and father stared at Kem. The girl really did not like her sister. How odd; when they were young, the two girls always played together. They didn’t start fighting until Alistia was around Kem’s age.
Distracted by his thoughts, the knight did not notice the his daughter’s sudden stiffness. Kem had seen something through the few trees around their path. She strained her back and neck for a better look, catching glimpses of white horses and a finely dress young man. Kem had no doubt who that was.
“Father! it’s the prince! He’s come for a visit!”
--
Ch 2
Prince Farlow sighed. As much as he liked riding his horse, he dreaded this trip. The big black gelding under the saddle recognized his master’s anticipation and dread. He tossed his glossy head up and down, trying to make the prince laugh.
And laugh he did! “Easy now Dagger,” Farlow puffed between his giggles. But his joy was only temporary. Looking down the dirt and stone road, the heir to Lokkhart remembered the conversation he and his father shared earlier that day.
The two had been playing checkers, since neither liked chess much. Looking down at the board, Farrow had tree pieces, one of which Kings. On the other hand, King Lennard had five chips, none of which kings.
“My son, your wedding is in three days and you have not yet met your bride,” the king jumped one of Farlow’s pieces, leaving him with a king and a normal chip.
“I know, Father, I know,” Farrow moved his only king to safety.
“Why don’t you ride down to Dunvin today and court the fine young lady for a bit,” The king moved a piece. “King me,”
Farlow put anther chip on top of the one that just made it to his side of the board. “I suppose I should,” he murmured. “Hah! Take that!”
The king scowled as Farlow jumped his only king. He swiftly jumped the piece that took his victory. Farlow proceeded to try and take as many chips as he could.
“I’ll have a stable hand saddle up your Dagger,” the king smiled, “I win,”
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