Post by Falconpaw on Aug 4, 2011 13:43:01 GMT -6
This is around the beginning of this prologue. I really want advice. Help me people!
Prologue
The sound of pain. The scent of blood. The feel of death in the air. A chill passing through all that pass. White fur turned red. A limp body lying beside a sycamore tree beside the river, blood running into the water, staining it red. It was a wolf body.
The faint rise and fall of the wolf's chest. She struggled to stand, barely able to sit on her own haunches. The wolf collapsed beside the tree once more after the struggle. The blood poured from her sides, turning the river red.
The torn, dying she wolf lied there, under the protection of the tree. Her chest rising and falling, her body shaking once in a while. The calm, pretty voice of the she wolf escaped her lips
"Its my time.” She whispered, her voice carried through the chilly evening wind. The body of the she wolf rattled once more. A ragged breath, filled with coughing. But peace was soon to come to the poor creature. One last cry, a pitiful howl, loud and painful. Her body became still, her chest finally stopping. It was all over. The Drakes had struck again.
A lone wolf stood upon the crest of a hill, his broad figure shadowed against the night sky. The night breeze buffeted his dark brown fur. A death cry could be heard below, on the far side of the valley. The death cry was not known in Fallen Stars pack. But it was a loner that their alpha male surely recognized.
Dekano raised his head, hearing the sound. His ears perked, his muzzle pointed in the direction of the stream in the midnight forest. He immediately let out a howl, telling his pack he would be back soon enough. And so he set off.
The dark brown wolf ran as fast as he could, his piercing blue eyes set on the stream, faintly visible through the trees. The scent of death overcame his senses. As Dekano entered the trees, a chill passed through his body, making him shiver.
This forest was haunted by the spirits of the dead. The ones who died here, their spirits and souls went into this forest until they were ready to go to either Moon Runners Pack or the Dark Midnight Pack. It was a curse to die in this place. If you did, your soul would never leave. There were long forgotten souls in the forest, who faded away in time. There has never been a death in the forest since the days when Lazria was first founded. But now, the Drakes would make their kills here, to torment Fallen Stars.
Dekano walked cautiously through the forest, following the scent, knowing who it was. He silently prayed, hoping the death was to an unknown loner.
But as Dekano came to the stream, his prayers faded away. There lying by the sycamore tree, was Keeko, Dekano’s beloved sister. The he wolf lowered his head to her body, nudging her gently.
“Oh Keeko.” Dekano barked sadly. The he wolf lied down beside the cold, bloody wolf and closed his eyes, resting his head upon her back. A single tear trickled down Dekano’s cheek, dropping to the ground. This tear landed on a single flower, sprouting close to the she’s head. The tear landed on the pink petal.
“Don’t cry for me.” Whispered a voice in the wind. Dekano lifted his head, looking up at what seemed to be nothing. But the presence of his sister lingered beside him. Dekano
Prologue
The sound of pain. The scent of blood. The feel of death in the air. A chill passing through all that pass. White fur turned red. A limp body lying beside a sycamore tree beside the river, blood running into the water, staining it red. It was a wolf body.
The faint rise and fall of the wolf's chest. She struggled to stand, barely able to sit on her own haunches. The wolf collapsed beside the tree once more after the struggle. The blood poured from her sides, turning the river red.
The torn, dying she wolf lied there, under the protection of the tree. Her chest rising and falling, her body shaking once in a while. The calm, pretty voice of the she wolf escaped her lips
"Its my time.” She whispered, her voice carried through the chilly evening wind. The body of the she wolf rattled once more. A ragged breath, filled with coughing. But peace was soon to come to the poor creature. One last cry, a pitiful howl, loud and painful. Her body became still, her chest finally stopping. It was all over. The Drakes had struck again.
A lone wolf stood upon the crest of a hill, his broad figure shadowed against the night sky. The night breeze buffeted his dark brown fur. A death cry could be heard below, on the far side of the valley. The death cry was not known in Fallen Stars pack. But it was a loner that their alpha male surely recognized.
Dekano raised his head, hearing the sound. His ears perked, his muzzle pointed in the direction of the stream in the midnight forest. He immediately let out a howl, telling his pack he would be back soon enough. And so he set off.
The dark brown wolf ran as fast as he could, his piercing blue eyes set on the stream, faintly visible through the trees. The scent of death overcame his senses. As Dekano entered the trees, a chill passed through his body, making him shiver.
This forest was haunted by the spirits of the dead. The ones who died here, their spirits and souls went into this forest until they were ready to go to either Moon Runners Pack or the Dark Midnight Pack. It was a curse to die in this place. If you did, your soul would never leave. There were long forgotten souls in the forest, who faded away in time. There has never been a death in the forest since the days when Lazria was first founded. But now, the Drakes would make their kills here, to torment Fallen Stars.
Dekano walked cautiously through the forest, following the scent, knowing who it was. He silently prayed, hoping the death was to an unknown loner.
But as Dekano came to the stream, his prayers faded away. There lying by the sycamore tree, was Keeko, Dekano’s beloved sister. The he wolf lowered his head to her body, nudging her gently.
“Oh Keeko.” Dekano barked sadly. The he wolf lied down beside the cold, bloody wolf and closed his eyes, resting his head upon her back. A single tear trickled down Dekano’s cheek, dropping to the ground. This tear landed on a single flower, sprouting close to the she’s head. The tear landed on the pink petal.
“Don’t cry for me.” Whispered a voice in the wind. Dekano lifted his head, looking up at what seemed to be nothing. But the presence of his sister lingered beside him. Dekano
