Post by Leopardheart on Sept 9, 2011 14:12:15 GMT -6
Well, that's the title at the moment anyway. It could and most likely will change. This is the second chapter to my story. If you haven't read the first, here's the link. virtualwarriorworld.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=writing&action=display&thread=39585
This is a rough draft, and I still have days of work ahead of me. Yes days. As in more than 24 hours. Not only do I have to finish writing it, but I then I have to go back page by page, paragraph by paragraph, sentence, making sure everything sounds just the way I want it to. Here's Chapter 2. I'll be posting Chapter 3 soon. Oh, and ignore my little notes I've typed it. That's for me, and I'm too lazy to go back and delete them. And sorry, but the dialogue is not highlighted. Too busy to do that at the moment. But it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. So please respond, and vote in my poll.
Jacob
The city went completely silent for a moment, and Jacob stopped in confusion. Then, sirens started blaring. A man came over the city intercom. “WE’VE LOST! THE WAR IS OVER! I REPEAT! WE’VE LOST! WE’VE LOST! WE’VE LOST!” For a moment, Jacob didn’t quite understand what was happening. Then it hit him. They had lost. The strange group of people, called the Exiles, had won. It was all over. But life was about to change. Military vehicles raced through the sky, hover cars, as well as several other ones Jacob didn’t recognize. The Exiles began to pour into the city, and the screams and shouts of people could be heard everywhere. The yanked people out of their homes, tossed them into the streets, and beat the ones who resisted. One yanked Jacob of his hover board, and he was thrown to the ground. An Exile stood over him, and smiled evilly. “Alone, huh? Then you’re coming with me.” He hissed. “Alone? N-No. I live with my mom and brother.” Jacob stammered. “You do, do you? Is that them then?” He pointed towards a women and boy walking towards them, apparently unharmed. “Mom! Marcus!” Jacob yelled, and started to run towards them, but the Exile shoved him back down.
Jacob’s mom and brother came closer. “Kiley.” The Exile greeted Jacob’s mom by her first name. Jacob looked confused, and looked up at his mom, who simply ignored him. “Is this your son?” The Exile asked. Kiley looked him over. “No son of mine would treat myself and his brother the way he did.” Panic filled him. “But Mom….I’m your son. Don’t you care?” He asked. “Not anymore.” She replied. Marcus said nothing. A masked Exile walked up to them, and Kiley embraced him, which confused Jacob even more. The other Exile sprayed something at him, and Jacob found himself getting sleepy. H struggled to keep his eyes open, but whatever they had sprayed was strong. The last thing he remembered was the Exile taking off his mask, and finding himself face to face with his dad.
- - - - - -
Lily
Ginger and Lily were hopping on their hoverboards, when a man ran into the room yelling, “The Exiles have won! The war is over! We’ve lost!” Lily gasped and looked at Ginger, who face was filled with fear. Lost? But how? It had been most of the world against the Exiles. But somehow, they had. Fear filled her for what was about to come, and she knew life would never be the same.
Exiles burst into the room, and for the first time Lily noticed all the military vehicles parked outside. Ginger started shaking, and Lily reached over to grasp her friend’s hand. They clung to each other, jumped off their hoverboards and pressed themselves against the wall. The Exiles were grabbing people and throwing them to the side. Lily started crying, and then Ginger started too. Lily cried out as an Exile grabbed an old women and bashed her on the head with a club. Her cry caused the Exile to turn his gaze towards them.
Fear gripping them, they tried to run past him, to get to their hoverboards but he grabbed Ginger. “No!” Lily screamed. “Lily! Help me!” Ginger pleaded as the Exile gripped her. But there was nothing she could do. Lily watched helplessly as the Exile shot Ginger in the head, and dumped her on the ground. He ignored Lily and walked off. Lily ran to her friend’s side. The shot had been to the head, and Ginger was barely breathing. “Ginger! Wake up!” She shook her, tears streaming. Ginger slowly opened her eyes. “You were a great friend Lily. Don’t ever forget me. I won’t forget you.” Ginger whispered.
“Stop talking like that! You’ll be fine!” Lily snapped, but Ginger simply shook her head. “Goodbye Lily.” Ginger’s body went limp in Lily arms. “No! Ginger, please!” Lily cried, but her friend was gone. Tears streaming, Lily tore for the doors, running past Exiles who attempted to stop her. The door opened, and Lily burst into the cold icy air. Frantically glancing around her, Lily ran for the trees and never looked back. Her hoverboard pushed it’s way through the doors, and raced after her.
- - - - - -
Remus
Remus was about to enter his classroom when the principal’s voice came over their pings. For a moment Remus wondered why he didn’t use the intercom, but then he spotted an Exile standing to the side, and his eyes widened. He doesn’t want him to know what he’s saying. Remus thought. “Students, we’ve lost the war. The Exiles have won. They are in the building right now, so I want you to quietly leave. Don’t leave in a whole group. Go to your lockers, talk to friends, but get out. And act natural.” The principal whispered. Many students exchanged looks, but caught on. Remus turned around, grabbed his hover board from his locker and headed for the doors.
He had just exited the building when the Exiles caught on too. They started pouring in, and Remus panicked for a moment. He crossed his fingers and hopped on his hover board. It beeped for a moment, but finally came to life. Remus sped off, heading for the many alleyways that went between buildings. When he had determined that no one had followed, he got off his hover board, hit the power button, and started walking, making sure to keep to the shadows.
- - - - - -
Caly
Caly and Ivy were still tossing the Frisbee when Caly heard voices. Someone had spotted the hovercars, and she turned to see where he was looking. The boy was right. Hovercars were streaming towards shore, and they didn’t look like the ones Australia or any other country used. She didn’t need an announcement to figure out what had happened. “Ivy, we’ve lost. Those are Exile hover cars. It’s all over, and we’ve lost the war.” Ivy turned to stare at her. “That’s impossible.” She retorted. “Oh, is it? Then why are Exile hover cars coming towards us? The Australian military would normally have stopped them by now.” Ivy seemed skeptical to believe her, but finally just shook her head in surprise. People had started to panic, and were running in all different directions. “Come on Ivy! We’ve gotta get out of here!” Caly grabbed Ivy’s hand, and they ran. But in the midst of all the confusion, Caly lost her grip on Ivy’s hand. “Ivy? Ivy!” She called desperately trying to spot her. But Ivy was nowhere to be found. She turned around at the sound of a hover car starting up. Three people got on board. One spotted Caly. She was still turning around and around, trying to find Ivy. “Hey!” She called. “Over here!” She waved at Caly. “Amelia!” One of the others gasped, but Amelia just shushed him.
Caly heard her, and ran in their direction. “You look a little lost. Hop on.” She said. “Why? Where are you going?” She asked. “America.” One of the boys replied. Caly started to ask another question, but he shushed her. “There’s no time! You can’t stay here! Come on!” Caly glanced around one last time for Ivy. But she still didn’t spot her. “I’m sorry Ivy.” Caly whispered, and taking Amelia’s hand, hopped on board.
This is a rough draft, and I still have days of work ahead of me. Yes days. As in more than 24 hours. Not only do I have to finish writing it, but I then I have to go back page by page, paragraph by paragraph, sentence, making sure everything sounds just the way I want it to. Here's Chapter 2. I'll be posting Chapter 3 soon. Oh, and ignore my little notes I've typed it. That's for me, and I'm too lazy to go back and delete them. And sorry, but the dialogue is not highlighted. Too busy to do that at the moment. But it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. So please respond, and vote in my poll.
Jacob
The city went completely silent for a moment, and Jacob stopped in confusion. Then, sirens started blaring. A man came over the city intercom. “WE’VE LOST! THE WAR IS OVER! I REPEAT! WE’VE LOST! WE’VE LOST! WE’VE LOST!” For a moment, Jacob didn’t quite understand what was happening. Then it hit him. They had lost. The strange group of people, called the Exiles, had won. It was all over. But life was about to change. Military vehicles raced through the sky, hover cars, as well as several other ones Jacob didn’t recognize. The Exiles began to pour into the city, and the screams and shouts of people could be heard everywhere. The yanked people out of their homes, tossed them into the streets, and beat the ones who resisted. One yanked Jacob of his hover board, and he was thrown to the ground. An Exile stood over him, and smiled evilly. “Alone, huh? Then you’re coming with me.” He hissed. “Alone? N-No. I live with my mom and brother.” Jacob stammered. “You do, do you? Is that them then?” He pointed towards a women and boy walking towards them, apparently unharmed. “Mom! Marcus!” Jacob yelled, and started to run towards them, but the Exile shoved him back down.
Jacob’s mom and brother came closer. “Kiley.” The Exile greeted Jacob’s mom by her first name. Jacob looked confused, and looked up at his mom, who simply ignored him. “Is this your son?” The Exile asked. Kiley looked him over. “No son of mine would treat myself and his brother the way he did.” Panic filled him. “But Mom….I’m your son. Don’t you care?” He asked. “Not anymore.” She replied. Marcus said nothing. A masked Exile walked up to them, and Kiley embraced him, which confused Jacob even more. The other Exile sprayed something at him, and Jacob found himself getting sleepy. H struggled to keep his eyes open, but whatever they had sprayed was strong. The last thing he remembered was the Exile taking off his mask, and finding himself face to face with his dad.
- - - - - -
Lily
Ginger and Lily were hopping on their hoverboards, when a man ran into the room yelling, “The Exiles have won! The war is over! We’ve lost!” Lily gasped and looked at Ginger, who face was filled with fear. Lost? But how? It had been most of the world against the Exiles. But somehow, they had. Fear filled her for what was about to come, and she knew life would never be the same.
Exiles burst into the room, and for the first time Lily noticed all the military vehicles parked outside. Ginger started shaking, and Lily reached over to grasp her friend’s hand. They clung to each other, jumped off their hoverboards and pressed themselves against the wall. The Exiles were grabbing people and throwing them to the side. Lily started crying, and then Ginger started too. Lily cried out as an Exile grabbed an old women and bashed her on the head with a club. Her cry caused the Exile to turn his gaze towards them.
Fear gripping them, they tried to run past him, to get to their hoverboards but he grabbed Ginger. “No!” Lily screamed. “Lily! Help me!” Ginger pleaded as the Exile gripped her. But there was nothing she could do. Lily watched helplessly as the Exile shot Ginger in the head, and dumped her on the ground. He ignored Lily and walked off. Lily ran to her friend’s side. The shot had been to the head, and Ginger was barely breathing. “Ginger! Wake up!” She shook her, tears streaming. Ginger slowly opened her eyes. “You were a great friend Lily. Don’t ever forget me. I won’t forget you.” Ginger whispered.
“Stop talking like that! You’ll be fine!” Lily snapped, but Ginger simply shook her head. “Goodbye Lily.” Ginger’s body went limp in Lily arms. “No! Ginger, please!” Lily cried, but her friend was gone. Tears streaming, Lily tore for the doors, running past Exiles who attempted to stop her. The door opened, and Lily burst into the cold icy air. Frantically glancing around her, Lily ran for the trees and never looked back. Her hoverboard pushed it’s way through the doors, and raced after her.
- - - - - -
Remus
Remus was about to enter his classroom when the principal’s voice came over their pings. For a moment Remus wondered why he didn’t use the intercom, but then he spotted an Exile standing to the side, and his eyes widened. He doesn’t want him to know what he’s saying. Remus thought. “Students, we’ve lost the war. The Exiles have won. They are in the building right now, so I want you to quietly leave. Don’t leave in a whole group. Go to your lockers, talk to friends, but get out. And act natural.” The principal whispered. Many students exchanged looks, but caught on. Remus turned around, grabbed his hover board from his locker and headed for the doors.
He had just exited the building when the Exiles caught on too. They started pouring in, and Remus panicked for a moment. He crossed his fingers and hopped on his hover board. It beeped for a moment, but finally came to life. Remus sped off, heading for the many alleyways that went between buildings. When he had determined that no one had followed, he got off his hover board, hit the power button, and started walking, making sure to keep to the shadows.
- - - - - -
Caly
Caly and Ivy were still tossing the Frisbee when Caly heard voices. Someone had spotted the hovercars, and she turned to see where he was looking. The boy was right. Hovercars were streaming towards shore, and they didn’t look like the ones Australia or any other country used. She didn’t need an announcement to figure out what had happened. “Ivy, we’ve lost. Those are Exile hover cars. It’s all over, and we’ve lost the war.” Ivy turned to stare at her. “That’s impossible.” She retorted. “Oh, is it? Then why are Exile hover cars coming towards us? The Australian military would normally have stopped them by now.” Ivy seemed skeptical to believe her, but finally just shook her head in surprise. People had started to panic, and were running in all different directions. “Come on Ivy! We’ve gotta get out of here!” Caly grabbed Ivy’s hand, and they ran. But in the midst of all the confusion, Caly lost her grip on Ivy’s hand. “Ivy? Ivy!” She called desperately trying to spot her. But Ivy was nowhere to be found. She turned around at the sound of a hover car starting up. Three people got on board. One spotted Caly. She was still turning around and around, trying to find Ivy. “Hey!” She called. “Over here!” She waved at Caly. “Amelia!” One of the others gasped, but Amelia just shushed him.
Caly heard her, and ran in their direction. “You look a little lost. Hop on.” She said. “Why? Where are you going?” She asked. “America.” One of the boys replied. Caly started to ask another question, but he shushed her. “There’s no time! You can’t stay here! Come on!” Caly glanced around one last time for Ivy. But she still didn’t spot her. “I’m sorry Ivy.” Caly whispered, and taking Amelia’s hand, hopped on board.
Can i join the club because i was looking for the rules and i just found them.