Left Alone [IDK, anybody]

[Gingerstorm]

Nilla felt lost. She wandered behind the apprentice den, just legally outside camp. She lay down, her paws laid out next to each other, her head gravitationally pulling her towards the dirt ground. and thought.

Nilla was alone. All her besties had become warriors without her. She told herself not to blame them. It was her fault anyway!
Wasn't it?

But now it was worse. Her mentor was inactive. So she probably wouldn't become a warrior at all! The lone apprentice might watch generations of apprentices be mentored. But she would be stuck with her own.

And it almost wasn't like she could ask another. Practically the only active warriors anymore were Sunny, Cloudy and Foxy! They were her besties! To be taught by them would be.... I don't know She thought, bewildered, Awkward?

But it didn't matter anymore! Their friendship was different.

She wanted to scream. To open her lungs and let the whole world feel the frustration. The hate. The annoyance. The pain.

But alas, no words came out. HEr throat was too tight.
It hurt.

Her old friends. seemed gone. Cloudy and Sunny were mates, neither Foxy nor her could talk to them without them being 'loving'. But even Foxy! Her first and original friend. Foxy seemed secluded. With-drawn. Like she was loftily taunting them.

She knew she couldn't talk to her 'besties' anymore. She already had. And she had thought this was over.

Then, why did she feel this way?

Please, Starclan, Tell me...
Why do you hurt me so?
I haven't done anything wrong.
Starclan, why do I hate my life so much?!

Tears began to stream, falling down her face. Her heart throbbed. She told herself it was her fault. Nobody else's.
It was true.
Her problems were own.
But it didn't matter what she told herself. Apparently he wasn't the head of the authorities.
Her heart was.

Eventually, the tears stopped, dried against her face. It felt stuck. She did nothing to help it. But she continued to lay there sadly. The spot she had chosen, hidden from the sun. Her fur pressed down against the cold earth. A stony peak poking up through the trees met her gaze.
If I lived there....
Nobody would know.
Nobody would care.

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[Lilyhaze]

(I would care, Nill. In real life and on VWW!)

Lilypaw was bored. (Wonder what it's like being mentored by Foxy? XD) A day of training had worn her out, but it wasn't nearly time to go to bed yet. So, she wandered around camp. Lost and desolate. She hoped to find one of her friends, Nilla, Adder, Poppy or Sunny. But love had taken all of them but one away from her. Sunny was in love with Cloudy. Addy was in love with Poppy. Poppy was in love with Addy. Big Problem. Nilla was, of course, sorting out whatever phobia she had at the moment. At the moment, Lil thought that her friend had friggasomething or another. Wandering around was all Lilypaw seemed to do nowadays. Wander wander wander. Wander into this. Wander into that. "Oof!" Lilypaw wandered into the side of the apprentices' den. Shaking her self, she strained her ears. She heard something... something from behind the apprentices' den. Only Nilla would think of a place like that to hide. Maybe Nilla as back there.... smiling hopefully, she padded into the little space behind the den. Sure enough, there was Nilla. But instead of what Lil was hoping for, Nilla comforting her, she found that she would probably have to comfort Nilla. She looked deep into the tortie she-cat's eyes. "Nilla?" she asked, "Are you OK?"

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[Gingerstorm]

(Eremophobia. And it's true! Nilla does.)

Nilla stared down, knowing LIlypaw was there. But she didn't want to look at anybody just now. Her tears were gone but her throat was still to tight to talk.

(Sorry wasn't at school today. I have a bad cold.)
(But you do run into things too IRL. IT's like you don't even notice it. Lily at least TRIES to avoid them. [but fails])

[Lilyhaze]

(XD ya)

Lily smiled wanly and sat down beside her friend. "Its OK if you don't wanna talk." she meowed quietly.

[Gingerstorm]

(Just so you know. Nilla has always been kinda weird. The way she's acting is just part of her character right now. :D)

NIlla lifted her head warily, her eyes were stretched from closing them. She blinked a couple times and then it came.
The glare.

It was one of those glares only Nilla could do.
She was masterful at it. THough it wasn't one of her horrible glares. On a scale off 1-10... 1 being a look and 10 being the full-on Nillian pound of fury,,,, It was a 4 or 5.
It was low, subtle and definitely visible.

Why couldn't Lil' understand that she was just...just...
She didn't even know the word.

But there was a chip.
A crack.
A small shattered piece.
Breaking.
Contagiously.

It was in fact, that she might have found a new mentor.
Swiftstep.

Hallelujah.
MAybe it would be more enthusiastic if her phobia wasn't already upon her.
Left alone.
That's where she was.

All this time, her expression was still a glare.
Her stormy grey-green eyes flashed. Worse then Athena herself.
She knew she shouldn't take her fear and her anger out on Lil'.
But her sadness blinded her.

Now we say goodbye.
They think you didn't try.

The remembrance of Sunny's, Cloudy's and Foxy's pride came. No regret.

Take the back the lies, the hurt the blame.
The tears you cry have come too late.

Or have they?

Her eyes flickered.
Like a homunculus when a soul has entered it's mind and body.

Another crack had appeared on another side of her.
It wasn't long before it shattered.

The Pain.
The Distrust.
An entire Pandora's Box was revealed to Lil'.

She bent her head and stared at the ground.

[Lilyhaze]

Lilypaw knew anger when she saw it.
She knew.
And she saw it now.

Deep anger.
Mostly fueled by loneliness, sadness.
Lily felt it too.
No, not as bad as Gin-Gin.
Definitely not as bad as Gin-Gin

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Instinctively, the small she-cat stepped back.
Just a step.
She knew what was coming.

She felt it too.
It's friends.
They ruin you're life.

Sunny had gone all "Lovey" on Cloudy.
Addy fell in love with Poppy.
Poppy fell in love with Adder.
Foxy became a warrior.

She wouldn't even think about Talon and Leps.
That left Gin.
Who was depressed.

She was alone.
Loneliness, she knew, mostly resulted in anger.
In a deep sadness.

I am left alone.
Left alone and forgotten.[/i]

Looking upon Gin-Gin with pity, the small tabby she-cat sighed.

"I'm here, too, Gin-Gin.
Even if you don't want to acknowledge it.
I know what you're feeling."

The wind blew.
The crisp breeze brought the tantalizing scents of the forest with it.[/center]

[Gingerstorm]

(Nice job LIl'. 'DEFINITELY NOT AS BAD AS GIN'
This is what Gin feels: *stab* *sizzle* *die*)

Gin lifted her head. She had managed to submerge most of her feeling into a small ball, shove it down her throat and keep it there.

It made her throat hurt.

She looked at Lil. It seemed she wasn't that the only person who felt the loneliness.
Lil seemed to notice it too.
But she wouldn't have guessed.

Sunny always behaved so sweetly around Lil.
Licking her cheek.
Pressing against her.
Purring and meowing to her.

But it didn't matter, did it...
Cloudy was the center of Sunny's world.
OF course she was....
They're MATES for crying out loud.
I think I am going to cry.

One word to describe Sunny: Inconsiderate.
He always did something that might hurt somebody else.
And even if he did ask... He left no room to maneuver. No room to say no.
Didn't he know how much he hurt people?

She pressed against her sister. It felt nice to lean against someone. Even if that cat was younger than her.

She had heard Lil's words.
And she knew.
She knew that Lil knew her feelings.
She knew that Lil was there.
She knew that Lil'd always be there.

It would NEVER EVER change.

Lil's my sister.

We'll always be there for each other, no matter what.
It isn't relevant, whether we LIKE it or not...

Gingerpaw met Lil's eyes and nodded, then jut pressed against Lil.
She had refound a friend.
But she wan't sure if she was ready to give up her hostility towards Sunny.

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[Lilyhaze]

Lily felt odd comforting an older cat.
She smiled and tried to let her warmth wash over Gin.
She sighed.

Sunny doesn't mean to hurt anyone.
He can't help it.
But in the end, no one wins.
No one ever wins this game.
This game of life.

"I'll be there, Gin.
I'll be there, always.
Waiting for you.
No matter what, you'll always have me...

And I'll always have you."

The small apprentice's last phrase was just audible, below a whisper.

Together, we're unstoppable.
Alone, we are nothing.
Unity is all.

"Don't worry, Gin-Gin.
We'll fight.
We won't give up life.
We're still alive.
Alive and kicking."

[/color]

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Post title: Alive and Kicking
Theme Song: You are my Sunshine
Number of Words (With codes):170[/color]