Thought You Were Dead [Tigerblaze]

[Deleted]

Maplefrost sat in her nest in a corner of the den, head bowed. She had recently been playing with some kits, the innocent little things. Well, one of them had just so happened to ask about her friends during her apprenticeship.

The tortoiseshell had mentioned Sparktalon, who had been gone for moons, as well as her good friend Songheart. Surprisingly enough, the orange tabby had shown up not long afterward. Maplefrost had been overjoyed.

Yet there was still one... Lunapaw. Her half-sister. Great CloudClan, how she missed that little cat. They had been close until the apprentice's disappearance many, many moons ago. Maplefrost had been distraught, and it took a long time for her to accept her old acquaintance as dead.

Nostalgia wasn't in her favor at the moment. The senior warrior squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the salty sting of a tear in vain.

I miss you.

[Tigerblaze]

I lay in my own nest, curled up into a fluffy ball. For once in my life, I was calm. My ears twitched occasionally, fluff ringed tassel wrapped around my petite form. A whirlwind of thoughts going on in my mind. Restless, I rose to my paws, licking my fur down and stepping out of the comfort of my bedding.

My faded navy-blue eyes scanned the den. Finding no entertainment here, I made my way to the edges of the den. Why? I had certainly no idea. I padded up to the scratched up wall, observing the deeps etches that crossed the rough surface. Letting out a huff, I unsheathed my coal-black claws and left a mark there. I really had no idea why I was doing this, but it felt good to release my energy, my anger into something else that wouldn’t cry out in pain.

In the middle of all the ruckus I was making, I caught a scent that was so familiar. Curious, I looked about until I saw a tortoiseshell pelt that made my year t leap with joy. I didn’t know the reason why, but I was sure as hell going to find out why. Tail lashing, I walked up to the older warrior, tapping her back with a claw and stepping back to let her move more freely. “You look familiar,” I murmured, mostly to myself and my other two personalities.

[Deleted]

She let out a half-pained yelp of surprise when a claw just barely nicked her spine. Maplefrost turned and saw - great CloudClan. That cat looked so familiar, but there was no way... right?

Leaning forward to sniff tentatively at Tigerblaze, Maplefrost frowned. She swiftly recovered her composure and spoke. "I could say the same about you." Her plumed tail twitched to and fro, a faint seed of hope starting to grow in her mind. Perhaps... perhaps it was possible.

"Was your mother Shadefrost, by any chance?" The senior warrior tilted her head just a little to one side, eager to find out more. "My name is Maplefrost, if that happens to jog your memory."

(Ohgodmuse come baccckkk)

[Tigerblaze]

I was slightly amused by the older warrior’s yelp of surprise and maybe even a bit of pain. My faded voids looked into hers, the color triggering a fuzzy, long-forgotten memory at the back of my mind.

I bit my tongue and kept a regal, confident stance as she reluctantly came over to me and observed me more clearly. The female senior was annoyingly tugging at a thought in brain. Was she really a part of my past, or is it just a coincidence? My ears twitched at her question. “I’m not so sure, but I think so. All I remember is playing with two other kits, one my half-sister and another a close friend,” I answered in all honesty.

Her name triggered the same memory. Maplefrost. Eagerly, I said, “To be honest, it does ring a bell. I’m called Tigerblaze, if that gives you an idea.”

[Deleted]

The mention of half-sister and close friend... of course! She herself had been telling that story to those kits only a few sunrises ago. Yet... could this really be the same cat?

Maplefrost frowned at the name. "I don't know any cat by that name. But... I do remember someone called Lunapaw. She's been gone for many, many seasons. I came to accept that she was dead a long time ago." The senior warrior's green eyes narrowed. There was no way that Lunapaw was back, and it was even less likely that this strange, overconfident female was the same being.

CloudClan willing, she would find her half-sister one day. Surely this was not Lunapaw.

[Tigerblaze]

Well, it was worth a try. Navy eyes flickered with slight disappointment, and in one single little blink, those blue-tinted glass windows had gone blank again.

The name made my brows knit together (assuming cats have eyebrows.) “Lunapaw . . . I—I remember that name . . . But, it must be just another cat . . . Or maybe that was you, Kitty . . . You have told me you have a half-sister, aside from the family we already have,” I murmured mostly to myself. I must have looked ridiculous and demented, talking to myself. But I was positive I was talking to someone. And that someone was my kinder, lovelier personality, Kitty.

My voice morphed into something that made my head connect all those little things like a giant puzzle, “I honestly don’t remember much . . . But her name . . . It’s so familiar.”

I hadn’t even realized that I was pacing around back and forth, my tassel whipping around in frustration. All these things somehow connected, were somehow related to each other. But I just can’t put a paw on it.

[Deleted]

Maplefrost stood, looking rather bemused when the strange younger cat started prowling around the den, tail lashing as she muttered something. This was like nothing else she'd ever seen before. The tortoiseshell fought the urge to interfere and inquire about Tigerblaze's health. Perhaps something was wrong with the vaguely-familiar cat. Had she hit her head on a rock? The mountains sure were icy enough this time of year.

It was a puzzling situation in any case. A long-missing half-sister, and a peculiar cat that looked oddly similar. Yet the feline had said that the name wasn't hers - at least, that's all the senior warrior had been able to gather from Tigerblaze's grumblings.

"You do look like her... but Lunapaw wasn't quite the same." Maplefrost sighed, hope trickling away slowly. "Sorry to have taken your time. I don't think you're the cat I've been looking for." The older female turned, settling into her nest and and allowing her head to rest on one paw in a disappointed manner.

[Tigerblaze]

It was Kitty’s turn to speak for me. I, Fury, needed to just calm down before I hurt someone. “Lunapaw is a sweet, yet troubled girl, yes? She would tend to scratch herself when she was frustrated. Even at a young age, she knew there was something . . . Different about how she acted. One minute she’s such an innocent, hyper being, and then the next, an untamable furious feline,” I spoke with so much fondness, so many memories clogging up my mind as I said this. One had clung to me in a desperate attempt to bring two sisters back together.

“You, Song, and I played Invaders and Warriors on our first day together. You were the invader, and me and Song were the warriors,” I stated, finally getting a firm grip on the simple memory, the one that used to be long gone and forgotten. “I changed, haven’t I? With three different personalities, one having a temper problem and antisocial disorder, another is crazy and reckless, and me, the paranoid one. But I’m still the same. I’m still your sister.”

[Deleted]

She raised her muzzle in surprise, not noticing her jaws hanging open. "It really is you..." Maplefrost managed to say after a pause. There was no way anyone else would know the old Lunapaw like that, nor could they recall that game.

Her eyes clouded. The three of them had been so close. Then both Song and Luna had gone missing, and the senior warrior had assumed that Luna was dead until now. Song still rarely showed up, and they hardly ever talked. It was painful to realize all this.

"You are different... But you're right," Maplefrost meowed, standing up and padding forward to nuzzle the tri-personality cat. "I still love you, sis."

[Tigerblaze]

I jokingly bowed low, an amused grin on my face. “The one and only,” I said with a purr. My plumed tail lashed back and forth playfully, faded blue optics twinkling in the little light that seeped into the dim den. A chuckle escaped my lips, a truly happy smile crawling its way up to my muzzle.

I blinked once, slightly taken aback by her easy acceptance of my many mental problems. I recovered from the little shock though. She was my sister. Any sibling of mine would accept me, just like Thorn did when he found out I was related to him. “Difference in mind doesn’t mean difference in heart and spirit. I love you too, Maple,” I murmured quietly, nuzzling her back. It felt nice, having another one who I can truly be at ease with.

[Deleted]

She chuckled softly at her half-sister's bow, grinning just the slightest bit. It was beyond amazing to have found Lunapaw after all these moons. Almost as if CloudClan had heard her prayers, Tigerblaze was back from the dead in her mind. No matter how different she might be, Maplefrost was more than ready to support her sister and stay close now that she'd been given a second chance.

"Help me catch up with you. What's been going on in your life? Where were you all this time? I've got some stories to tell, but I want to hear your tale first." The tricolor Maine Coon blinked compassionately, eager to learn what Tigerblaze had been doing since they'd parted ways as apprentices.

[Tigerblaze]

A deep, happy purr tumbled freely out of my mouth, restraints non-existent. I sat back on my haunches, sitting close by the tricolored senior warrior. I thought of all the things that happened in my lifetime, past and recent. “Well, I guess I'll start back to my late kithood,” I started, tail twitching as I recalled certain memories that might interest my older sister. “I was never really optimistic, quite the opposite actually. The only real person I could talk to was my mother. Then I met Echopaw. She tolerated my first personality, the one you were talking to earlier, and we grew close. But then she just. . . left me to become an apprentice. I was beyond furious with that, but I never took it out on anybody—except Badgerclaw,” I spoke, “I met him one day, and let's just say we had a rough start. I hid under an unstable rock and it almost fell on me if it weren't for him. Sadly, I got his shoulder all messed up because of it. After that, he started to be like an older brother, a guardian if you will. Even though I didn’t know his name then, I was pretty fond of him.”

My eyes grew dark as I said the next part. “After a few sunrises, I became an apprentice. I was reckless, untamable, dangerous. I attacked anybody I got near to and just tear them apart, but luckily, I never really kill them. In the end, I always drag them to the Medicine Cats. Because of those things, cats left and right were calling me a she-demon, a cat from the darkest, most dangerous part of Darkpool. My fury grew even more, and since I was reckless, I ran out into territory and went to the river. I was too angry to even think straight and before I knew it, I was drowning. I would've been dead by now if Badgerclaw hadn't been there to save me—again. So, after that he took me to the Meds and later on I found out his name.”

“As expected, I got sick from the intense temperature of the water. I was stuck in the den for about half a moon. I was frustrated by that. The good thing was, Thornfrost came to my aid and he would entertain me with jokes and all that. We exchanged problems and we helped each other through. Little did I know back then that we were related. So after I was free from confinement, I was back to training, and sadly, attacking. Thornfrost would hold me back and calm me down, and gradually, I learned to keep my anger in check.”

Now I got to the part where more terrifying things happened. “One day, while me, him, and Badger were out for a simple walk, I got lost and found myself fighting back a dog. I was beyond grateful that Thorn found me just in time to help chase away the beast. By a small sliver of luck, we were still alive. After that, I met an apprentice named Ravenpaw. We were the best of friends. But while we were out training by ourselves, I fell off of a branch and broke my paw. I'm better now, but not much back then. I was taken back to the Med Den and there I stayed for a moon or two. Ravenpaw and big brother and protector always visit me. Things after that were starting to become stable, only to end up free falling back to rock bottom when Badgerclaw and Thornfrost declared they were leaving, smack dab after my warrior ceremony. I was furious with the two. I ignored them, fought with them, until they decided to stay. In all that chaos, Ravenstorm helped me through. Then I realized that maybe we were more than friends. We ended up being together, only for him to just magically disappear,” I remembered, eyes turning a shade darker than the last as I continued on,

“Because of that, I ended up training and training until I was bleeding and passed out on the snowy training grounds. As each day passed, the pain I was feeling numbed and went away. In that span of time, I found out about my antisocial disorder and paranoia problems, and of course, my three different personalities. And now here I am, the Queen of the Devils herself, Tigerblaze,” I ended with a bitter tone, my title starting to boil my anger, but I kept it all down, waiting for Maplefrost to react and tell me her tales in exchange.

[Ohgod, sorry for the long post ;~;]

[Deleted]

She listened quietly to the story of her half-sister's life, concern and sadness flickering across her face. When Tigerblaze had finally reached the end of the tale, Maplefrost slowly shook her head. It was awful that any cat should have to go through that amount of emotional torture. Then again, she'd experienced quite a bit since her kithood.

Maplefrost pressed her forehead to the other female's shoulder for just a moment in acknowledgement of the younger she-cat's pain. There truly wasn't much she could say to make the past better, but it was still important to share her half of things.

"It feels like just yesterday that we were kits, and I was the fearsome Maplefang playing with my best friend and half-sister. Those were the good days... I had so many fun times and close friends. We were so innocent back then."

"I guess things like that don't last forever. My serious personality started to take over by the time I was an apprentice, with Windflurry training me. I had already promised to protect IceClan and try to make things better around here... somehow. It seemed so easy when we were young. We could do anything."

She frowned just a little bit. "It wasn't too long before I passed my assessment and became a warrior. From that point on, there was never time to play anymore. I got several apprentices right away, and things were very busy. At one point, I ended up fighting off a fox that got too close to camp. That's how I ended up with these." Maplefrost twisted her head around to glance at her left flank, which still bore the two long horizontal marks from the fox.

"I wasn't hurt for long, but then something else happened. Birdshadow and I stumbled across Sparrowfur. A FireClan queen on our territory. We were going to drive her off, but she told us that we were littermates - and that our father was Hawktalon." The Maine Coon bared her teeth furiously. "She convinced us to come to FireClan and meet him, but once there, Darkstar had other plans."

"We were held hostage. Birdshadow managed to escape, yet I was trapped in a hole for moons. It was torture. They hardly fed me, and when my brother finally came back to get me, CloudClan knows that it wasn't a moment too soon. It took a long time for me to recover from that, and by then, our scumbag father had made himself leader of RockClan."

Maplefrost took a moment to dig her claws into the ground, rage almost consuming her. "I've sworn to kill him. I want to be there to rip away every one of his nine lives personally. After what Hawkstar's put me through, he deserves it. Darkstar is another matter; she isn't even worth my time. Next time FireClan decides to mess with us, I'll deal with that fool."

The senior warrior took a slow breath. "Eventually... things returned to normal. I'm not getting along very well with our mother at the moment, but that's a story for another time. Birdshadow has had several kits, apparently. It's just frustrating, not being able to venture out to RockClan and handle Hawkstar. I wish I could sneak away, if only for a day, and make him feel the pain I felt..."

She lapsed into silence at last, eyes slitted and ears flattened. It was almost as if she stood before the grey-furred leader right at that moment, planning what she would say and how she would kill him.

[Tigerblaze]

I felt comfort and warmth as Maplefrost rested her forehead on my shoulder. I experienced a warm feeling in my chest, as if now that I knew that I could rely on someone without them telling me I'm weak, pity me, or just plain disappear again. It was like I was finally given a second chance.

My plumed ringed tassel lashed back and forth, faded dark blue eyes lighting up and erasing all the agony, all the hardships and suffering I went through that was locked up in a chest inside of me, hidden away until I let it all loose. I looked down at my paws, letting out a bittersweet laugh at the mention of our kit days. "If only life would just stay that simple," I murmured absentmindedly.

I grew quiet as my older sister began her own tale. My eyes grew wide with admiration when the tortoiseshell senior mentioned Windflurry and getting the experienced warrior as her mentor. But I kept my mouth shut and kept my thoughts to myself.

As the story continued to unravel, my emotions mixed and fought a bloody mental war. I couldn't focus on just one emotion all throughout my sister's past.

I subconsciously growled at the tale of the fox fight. I was never really fond of those creatures, and even more with dogs. The mangy beasts were nothing but trouble. My gaze lifted up and locked with the older female's scars, wondering what might have happened during the fox battle.

I continued to listen attentively, my striped brown ears perked up in attention. Again, I growled deep in my throat. How dare FireClan take Maplefrost and Birdshadow? How dare they mistreat and torture my older sister? My coal-colored claws began to slide out as I went on and thought about the imprisonment more. I was disgusted by how cats chose to treat such loyal and kind warriors like the tortoiseshell and the blue-grey tom, even if they were Half-Clan felines. Bloodline never really was much of an importance to me.

I shook my head and looked away from the scars my sibling bore. "Bloody FireClan and their crazy leader. Stupid cats don't know who they're messing with," I grumbled furiously, scratching away at the ground.

And that Hawkstar. Dear CloudClan, I can't even explain how I'm starting to feel about that tom. Just hearing about how he ignored his children and letting them suffer while he goes to another Clan to be a Leader made me want to push him off of a cliff and make his death slow and agonizing. I guess Maplefrost and I really are related if we felt the same way about Hawkstar.

The tortoiseshell started to mention something about swearing to kill her father and personally take away each and every one of his nine lives. I bitterly laughed at that. "Leave some for me, too. Just hearing about how he chose to treat you and Birdshadow makes me want to kill him in the most painful and horrible way possible," I thought aloud, not meeting my sibling's gaze.

I felt her pain, and even experienced how she felt right now. I shared her frustration. What she was going through right now was what I went through every single day of my screwed up life. But at least there was some good days for the both of us, even if it didn't really balance the bad days. "Believe me when I say that I know exactly how you feel. Everyday, actually. But I guess nobody can really avoid pain, even if just the slightest sliver of it."

[Deleted]

(Fff this might be a little lazy)

"Darn right. Darkstar should be cautious of us. I almost wish that we'd go to war with them, if only for the sake of shredding her pelt." Maplefrost shook her head angrily, flexing her claws. She located a scrap of bracken on the floor of the den, and tore it to shreds halfheartedly in frustration.

"I can't believe Birdshadow forgave our father. After what he's put us through, I'm not too happy with my brother for not holding a grudge." She huffed, fur bristling. However, as Tigerblaze continued to speak, she flicked her tail.

"I suppose I do need some help. If you really do want to rip Hawkstar to shreds like I do..." She hesitated, thinking quickly. "Perhaps you could accompany me when I do venture out to RockClan. I don't know when I'll be able to slip away, though. It could be be a few sunrises, or many moons. Yet killing a leader alone isn't so easy." Stupid Hawkstar. Why did he have to go and gain eight more lives? It made him much more difficult to dispose of. At least RockClan was closer than FireClan.

She let out a quiet sigh. "I think I'm going to go take a walk alone. Thinking about this is giving me a headache. I'll see you around, okay?" Maplefrost's eyes were anxious for a moment, as if leaving her half-sister would mean that the tabby would disappear. Shaking it off, the tortoiseshell spared a last glance toward Tigerblaze and took a step toward the den entrance.