Post by Hornetstripe on Jan 12, 2016 4:02:10 GMT -6
So yeah, I often enter in writing competitions with short stories, mostly ranging from 500-700 words (although I always go way over) and he's the latest piece I felt like sharing with you guys. I've been writing (or at least attempting to write) full-length novels and short stories since I was about 10, and finally managed to get a hold of my own style at around fourteen, although my stories we're still very cliche and horrible back then. Now, I'm entering in local writing competitions whenever I get the chance, and slowly trying to get my motivation back to re-write a novel I started back as a twelvie.
So, after submitting my 500 word story into a writing competition with the grand prize as $500 and the choice of an iPad Air, Samsing tablet, PS4 or Xbox, and somehow managing to make it into the final round after being selected from thousands of entries from people of all school ages around Australia -squee-, I'm finally happy with something that I wrote :)
This story required a massive amount of research so I could get the key elements of it correct. Psychopaths have a distinct mindset, depending on the level, so I chose the everyday, casual crazy.
So finally, here's my story. This is the edited but not shortened version (that one was submitted, but I like this one's a whole lot better. I hate having to remove words from my stories). Please enjoy it, any feedback is welcome
WARNING: PG 13+
maybe idk
Not insane; just a psychopath
“You’re insane!”
Her voice echoed in his mind, the indicative terror on her face slicked with tears. She flinched away as he rose, an ugly grin forming on his lips, and replied. “Not insane; just a psychopath.”\
The pan hit her skull with a sickening crack.
His wife wasn’t that special, she was merely a woman he found suitable to sustain a normal life with. She, of course, was thrilled with the idea of marrying a high-end businessman, and fell right into his lap. They maintained a simple life for a couple of years, the income mostly coming from him while his wife struggled to catch up, pressured by his constant bragging and disproval of her lack of work ethics. Unknown to her, however, he wasn’t that interested in the amount she made, only that she didn’t start to believe that she owned any part of him. This life was one that he created, not her. He built up his utopia that supported their marriage, so it was only fair that she belonged to him, not the other way around. He was not a dog on show for the amusement of the public. No, that was her; a simple woman that had no right to think she could ever match his superiority.
She kept this mindset, aided by his constant belittlement, and was rewarded for co-operating with gifts only the rich could afford.
But the woman wanted children.
She had asked him one day, brought up the idea of starting a family. He found this suggestion to be preposterous. Why on earth would he ever want to be leeched by a parasite with nothing to give him in return? He turned down the idea, but she continued to bother him. She knew her place, he reminded her daily, but still opposed his authority. Unacceptable.
She would cry sometimes. He would yell after she bothered him for too long about her wishes, and this only angered him further. What place did she think she was in? He was in no hurry to give away his power. She was his possession, and in no way would he give that right to the scum that she called children. Her asking bothered him, and he began to doubt his past choices in choosing her to be his.
This enraged him.
In no way should he be feeling this way due to the words of a minority. He began to lash out at her whenever she brought up her wishes. The gifts he gave were taken away, as if she was a disobedient child defying her parents, and the abuse grew. She opposed his new ways, which irritated him even further. But she finally crossed the line when she said four simple words.
“I want a divorce.”
He was shocked at first. Why would she ever want to leave this life? He gave everything to her. He supported her and made sure she was always happy. Was she happy? Was he happy…? No, she was making him unhappy. That. That was just…unacceptable.
He confronted her, voiced his outrage at her behaviour, screamed his authority and brushed off her pleas to leave her. She was his. She had no rights to conduct herself in such way. It made him angry. She was in no place to be doing this. His property was to respect him. To serve him. To fulfil his wishes and stay in its place.
He raised the pan.
She screamed.
So, after submitting my 500 word story into a writing competition with the grand prize as $500 and the choice of an iPad Air, Samsing tablet, PS4 or Xbox, and somehow managing to make it into the final round after being selected from thousands of entries from people of all school ages around Australia -squee-, I'm finally happy with something that I wrote :)
This story required a massive amount of research so I could get the key elements of it correct. Psychopaths have a distinct mindset, depending on the level, so I chose the everyday, casual crazy.
So finally, here's my story. This is the edited but not shortened version (that one was submitted, but I like this one's a whole lot better. I hate having to remove words from my stories). Please enjoy it, any feedback is welcome
WARNING: PG 13+
maybe idk
Not insane; just a psychopath
“You’re insane!”
Her voice echoed in his mind, the indicative terror on her face slicked with tears. She flinched away as he rose, an ugly grin forming on his lips, and replied. “Not insane; just a psychopath.”\
The pan hit her skull with a sickening crack.
His wife wasn’t that special, she was merely a woman he found suitable to sustain a normal life with. She, of course, was thrilled with the idea of marrying a high-end businessman, and fell right into his lap. They maintained a simple life for a couple of years, the income mostly coming from him while his wife struggled to catch up, pressured by his constant bragging and disproval of her lack of work ethics. Unknown to her, however, he wasn’t that interested in the amount she made, only that she didn’t start to believe that she owned any part of him. This life was one that he created, not her. He built up his utopia that supported their marriage, so it was only fair that she belonged to him, not the other way around. He was not a dog on show for the amusement of the public. No, that was her; a simple woman that had no right to think she could ever match his superiority.
She kept this mindset, aided by his constant belittlement, and was rewarded for co-operating with gifts only the rich could afford.
But the woman wanted children.
She had asked him one day, brought up the idea of starting a family. He found this suggestion to be preposterous. Why on earth would he ever want to be leeched by a parasite with nothing to give him in return? He turned down the idea, but she continued to bother him. She knew her place, he reminded her daily, but still opposed his authority. Unacceptable.
She would cry sometimes. He would yell after she bothered him for too long about her wishes, and this only angered him further. What place did she think she was in? He was in no hurry to give away his power. She was his possession, and in no way would he give that right to the scum that she called children. Her asking bothered him, and he began to doubt his past choices in choosing her to be his.
This enraged him.
In no way should he be feeling this way due to the words of a minority. He began to lash out at her whenever she brought up her wishes. The gifts he gave were taken away, as if she was a disobedient child defying her parents, and the abuse grew. She opposed his new ways, which irritated him even further. But she finally crossed the line when she said four simple words.
“I want a divorce.”
He was shocked at first. Why would she ever want to leave this life? He gave everything to her. He supported her and made sure she was always happy. Was she happy? Was he happy…? No, she was making him unhappy. That. That was just…unacceptable.
He confronted her, voiced his outrage at her behaviour, screamed his authority and brushed off her pleas to leave her. She was his. She had no rights to conduct herself in such way. It made him angry. She was in no place to be doing this. His property was to respect him. To serve him. To fulfil his wishes and stay in its place.
He raised the pan.
She screamed.
