no title lmao // p

[Robinstar]

Robinstar wandered aimlessly through the trees in IceClan's territory, stopping when he reached the river. He sat there for a moment or two, reflecting on things that had happened recently, and not so recently. It wasn't often that he had time to himself, and when he did he, many times, thought about his mother, and his little family that had broken apart. He missed the days when he was young and carefree, and everyone was happy and together. But then things had happened and he'd been forced to move on.

He took a step forward into the icy river, the cold water feeling refreshing on his paws. He stood there, until the sound of soft paw steps in snow removed him from his thoughts. The tabby leader turned, river rocks shifting under his paws, to see who was approaching. As usual, on the outside his face remained flat and expressionless, despite the things going on inside his head.

( little longer than intended xD Deadclaw Ivycloud )

[Ivycloud]

i was only a few moons old when i first took step in to iceclan territory. barely an apprentice and so clearly weaker, both physically and mentally, to those around me. i was this scrawny little loner who hardly knew the difference between a mouse and a bird, and couldn't pin another cat down if their life depended on it. i was a useless scrap back then, and from the very beginning, it was evident that i never belonged here. never belonged in such a world where cats where raised to be heroic and brave and strong when i was everything but.

the day i left my brothers behind will be forever engraved in my mind. fox had begging me not to go, telling me that the clan life just wasn't meant for me. that what i truly needed was him and my little brother and nothing outside our little family mattered. but we where naive and never would have made it out on our own. i haven't seen my brothers for a very long time now. it's almost comical how our lives played out. fox, a rogue, and milo, a kittypet held within the arms of a two-leg family. and then there was me. me, here in iceclan, with my step-sister and her daughters and my daughters and the amazing family we had built for ourselves. and yet, still, i somehow felt alone.

everything changed for me when wildwind died. she had been my backbone sense day one. she was always by my side, always supporting me through my hardest times and keeping my head high when i could only feel discouraged. i had believed we'd be together forever, you know. and now she's gone, and i'm here without her, and suddenly everything feels wrong. it feels broken. i am no longer whole.

and so i guessed that's why i was here now, out in the clan territory. it was seldom i left the camp, with my duty as a former queen and being constantly consumed by tending to the kids. even when i was alone in those rare moments, i never dared venture far, as i was just about as useless as a scrap of prey. if something where to attack me, i'd be done for. i was defenseless. and yet a small part of me wasn't afraid. a small part of me wished my end would just come sooner.

the river was ahead of me now, within eyeshot, and i began to pick up a running pace to the rushing water. though all of a sudden, my senses where overwhelmed with a familiar scent and my eye caught sight of a brown figure coming in to shot. anxiety spiked through my stomach, and i fell to a sudden stop. that is, until my senses finally came back together and i realized the scene was no other than a fellow clan member. i took a deep breath, relieved, and cautiously took a few more steps forward and off to the side, aiming to get close to the water and, if i was lucky, avoid all conversation with whoever else had decided today was the perfect day to sink their feet in the river.

(JESUS CHRIST THIS IS WHY I DON'T RP CATS WHAT IS THIS I'M GOING TO KMS BYE GOODBYE WORLD I AM GONE)