b(o)red as a fish

[Natalia]

Natalia flicked her ear.

Wasn't it obvious? She supposed Jude just didn't understand quite yet. He would soon. She knew he would. Or perhaps he'd delude himself forever like Dove seemed to.

"Because you'll know a little bit about me. And then you'll know enough to know it's the truth."

[Deleted]

|| the bold in this green didn't look that good. Trying to switch things up. ||

Jude twitched his whiskers. It was obvious this cat didn't think very highly of herself. 'Maybe I can help change that.' He was trying to hold off on being nice, but it looked like this cat could use his help.

"I can't help but disagree with you again." He paused for a minute or two, "Go on, tell me about yourself. Try to convince me that you don't matter."

[Natalia]

Natalia shifted uncomfortably.

"I... I can't do that." She stated bluntly. Jude currently held the throne of cats who made her nervous and uneasy. She was starting to hold irrational fear that Jude would see everything. She didn't want anyone to know her. Even when she wanted to scream out her hurt. 

It wasn't like anyone was listening.

Except Jude.

Natalia wasn't even sure if something was behind that friendly face of Jude's. What if there was? What if she told him something close to her heart and he hurt her with it? This was why she avoided friendships. You couldn't trust any cat! Not forever!

"I can't tell you anything."

[Deleted]

Jude was getting a little annoyed. 'She can't tell me anything? What does she think I'm gonna do?' He thought for a moment. There had to be a reson behind her hesitation. Was she fearful of being judged? Or did she just have a very wicked past that she didn't want to bring up?

Whatever the reason, this made Jude even more interested in what she had to say. He opened his eyes, taking a side glance at her. "Is it because you're scared? Scared of getting blackmailed, or hurt?" His eyes returned to the water, focusing on a cluster of stones poking out. "Or maybe you have trust issues. Maybe there's something from your past that's burdening you with these problems."

[Natalia]

Natalia stiffened.

She wasn't scared! Even if that thought in her head sounded like a boldfaced lie. Jude was seriously making her uncomfortable. She knew she should've kept avoiding social interaction like the plague! If she did, then she wouldn't be in this situation!

"No! I'm not scared!" She huffed. "Only an idiot trusts! I learned that from experience! It's not a problem, either! It's all of you that have a problem! All of you are so stupid and trusting!"

[Deleted]

"Only an idiot trusts! I've learned that from experience!" He blinked. So something had happened. "You've obviously been hurt. It's okay to trust, Natalia. Just because you might have been betrayed once doesn't mean it's going to happen again." He didn't think his words were going to change her mind, but it was worth a shot.

Jude could tell that helping this cat would be a long process. 'I'm willing to try, though.' If it ended in him gaining an ally, then it was worth it.

[Natalia]

Natalia fought back against the tears forming.

She was getting emotional. But it was hard when this cat brought old hurts bubbling to the surface with a vengeance. She wanted to believe Jude... But she just couldn't believe it was true.

"You're just being dumb!" She shouted. "How can I trust if the ones closest to your heart are going to just leave?!"

[Deleted]

Jude took a deep breath once she started shouting. "Natalia... the ones that were close to you were the dumb ones. It was wrong of them to betray you." He replied, lightly tapping his tail against the ground. "You just have to keep trying, because most won't do that. It really pays off when you trust someone and they trust you back."

[Natalia]

Natalia shook her head violently.

"No! My... It's not..." She struggled to find the words. "Your family is supposed to be special. Family is supposed to stay together. How can I place my trust in a friend if I couldn't trust my own flesh and blood?!" She demanded of Jude.

"If you know so much about why it's so good to trust, then tell me that?! How can I not believe that every cat will just turn their back on me?!"

[Deleted]

Jude almost rolled his eyes. "And who told you that? Family is not that important, Natalia. You should've figured that out by now." He turned to face her, keeping a straight face as he listened once more.

He paused, thinking about her words. "I'm not telling you what to believe. I'm just saying that life is much better with close friends rather than acquaintances you don't think you can trust."

[Natalia]

Natalia was silent.

Was that true? Was that really true? It... She never figured it out because even if things turned incredibly sour by the end, she couldn't forget that her brother was kind to her, or at least did his best before their parents left. And their parents... Oh, they were so good to Natalia. How could she forget?

She turned her head to the side. "...." She contemplated Jude's words. It wasn't like she could just change her point of view all of a sudden... But Jude was giving her something to think about. 

[Deleted]

Jude smiled to himself when she went quiet. He flicked his tail, doing the same. He wondered what she was thinking about. Maybe she was going over what he said. Maybe she was coming up with insults. Or maybe she was figuring out a way to attack him.

Jude stayed put, thinking these possibilities over. 'She either hated what I said or is actually thinking about it. I wish she'd tell me.'

[Natalia]

Natalia sighed.

"I guess... I suppose there is more truth in your words than I'd like to admit." She meowed finally. "My brother... Even if he did leave and say plenty of distasteful things to me before he left... Things weren't always that bad. I guess that's why I couldn't let it go." She sniffed.

"I still can't quite just let it go like that." Though, hopefully Jude knew that cat's views need some time to change. Intellectually, she could see the logic in Jude's words. In terms of believing... That was what she would need time for adjustment. She'd spent a long time pushing cats away on the belief that since her family hadn't been loyal, she couldn't expect any other cat to be any better.

"But I suppose... I can work on it now."

[Deleted]

Jude nodded as he listened. 'I wonder what her brother said.' He didn't ask. It must've been pretty bad if Natalia was still thinking about it. "I still can't quite just let it go like that." He shrugged a little. Why couldn't she? He was about to speak, though stopped when Natalia finished. So she would work on it. The tabby's small smile grew just a bit.

He looked at her for a minute longer, then turned away again. "Good for you."

[Natalia]

Jude turned out to be a vastly different cat than Natalia expected.

She looked to Jude and for the first time in what felt like forever, a corner of her lip twitched upwards in the slightest of smiles. 

"You know. I think you're going to do alright here." She meowed. It wasn't just a consolation. She believed it. Seemed Jude wasn't what they seemed, despite being new. Heh. She supposed experience sometimes just didn't matter all that much.