We sail today [p] Hornet

[Spottedheart]

Spottedheart padded away from the freshkill pile two plump sparrows in his jaws. He was hoping to see Hornetstripe again, she was the only one who paid him any mind back when he first joined TreeClan. All the others had ignored him or immediately regarded him as a traitor who was not to be trusted. It hurt him, he felt like he had no choice; he was always alone in IceClan after his mate died and then he was alone again. Then Hornet had sat with him and shared prey, it meant everything to him. She reminded him of his mentor, Destinedspirit, and it made him go back to being an apprentice. His apprenticeship was hard, he didn't pick up on his training as fast as the others and the only friend he had was his mentor. He had been alone his whole life, sitting in the background of everyone else. After awhile of this, he had acquaintances come and go before his mate came into the picture. Eventually she disappeared too, and he was alone again in the pit of loneliness that grew deeper every time he was alone. Spottedheart needed to know that someone cared about him, someone loved him. The knowledge that not only was she with kits and a mate never even came to mind.

He knew what he needed, at least vaguely in his troubled mind. The constant attention then abandonment manifested in a constant seeking of attention and love. It didn't matter who it came from, anyone would do; as long as they filled the void. Quickly he shook his thoughts of desperation from his mind and looked around. Where was she? The cow-spotted tom wondered, peering around camp with his amber eyes.

[Hornetstripe]

When you have no one

you are no one

It was hot as usual, too hot for that matter. Luckily Hornetstripe wasn't a FireClanner so the shade was easily accessible under the vast canopy of trees, but it still irked her to have the intense heat shining in her face all the time. Not to mention the fact that her pelt was in no way built for such weather, and every little thing she did that required some form of physical activity left her drained and tired almost immediately. Why on earth she felt like going hunting on such a hot day like that day was a good idea was beyond her, but all she knew for certain at that moment padding into camp with a squirrel in her jaws and body heavy with exhaustion, was that she made a mistake just leaving her den.

Usually the rare enthusiasm that followed returning to camp with a decent piece of prey was entirely drained by the heavy weight of fatigue that was slowly coming crashing down on her, and she glumly hauled herself over to the fresh-kill pile to toss on her catch. She could feel her stomach protest as she began to move away from the pile, obviously prominent hunger pains from not having eaten since the day before stabbing into her, but she simply had no will to pick through to find something decent.
Despite feeling like she would collapse where she stood and take a nap sprawled across the forest floor, she was able to pick out a familiar patched pelt that resided only a few tail-lengths away from where she stood. She paused for a moment racking her brain for even a lick of motivation to actually attempt interaction just for the sake of politeness, when she noticed that he seemed to be looking for someone. Who in fact was a mystery to her, but perhaps she could be productive before she passed out and actually help him find whoever it was.

Putting on her best pleasant smile, she padded over to the tom and stopped beside him, trying to make sure he noticed her presence before she spoke so she didn't accidentally frighten him with her sudden appearance. "Afternoon, Spottedheart, I haven't seen you around in a while. How are things going, settling in been going smoothly?" Her voice lacked it's usual shakiness, but she didn't stop to question it and simply pinned it on her lack of energy. "Mind if I take a seat?" 

And it takes no one to know one

words: 410 - tags: N/A - notes: bam

made by Wolf of GS

[Spottedheart]

Spottedheart watched her out of the corner of his eye as she padded into the camp. He recognized her immediately by her striped orange pelt and she seemed hot, not surprising considering the terrible heat of the afternoon. He was grateful for his mostly white pelt but his black spots seemed to heat up unbearably even under shade of the tree. Quickly he feigned a surprised head turn as she stood next to him and he met her gaze from his folded position on the ground. He dropped the second sparrow onto the ground next her. She had actually offered to sit next to him again, it was just like the first time all over again. Spottedheart repressed a shiver from running down his spine as his heart beat furiously and he barely managed to maintain his collected persona. "Oh hey, yeah I was looking for you actually. Yes of course you can eat with me." He mewed casually, breaking her from her gaze and taking a bite out of his sparrow even though he didn't feel hungry.

Everything was going to plan, he was ready for the attention, the positive reinforcement again. A little hit to keep him going, so that he relapse all over again later. All those cumulative losses were numbed again by another chase. He needed something, anything to give him that high again and unfortunately for her she had walked in during a relapse in his manic-depressive cycle. Even if she didn't know it, he was latched onto her. He was a parasite. "I'm doing well. How are you?" He mewed evenly, his tone friendly. She couldn't know about these thoughts and he fought his brain for every word he said, filtering everything. But it wasn't very planned out and it showed. Subtle stuttering in his speech revealed some kind of nervousness. He was aware of it but tried to hide that as well by giving a quick smile. "It's been awhile." Spottedheart mewed lightly, giving a soft laugh. Kindness could be disarming if he used it properly. The longer he went without a fix the less composed he was and the further he slipped, even in his current state it scared him. After long enough he became better at hiding his emotions, not to mention he was extremely socially awkward from lack of socialization almost his entire life. He needed her and he wasn't going to let anything stop him from getting that high again, not now or ever.

[Hornetstripe]

When you have no one

you are no one

With a sigh, Hornetstripe flopped down on the ground next to him quite ungracefully, stretching out her front paws in a half-hearted attempt to stretch. Her pelt puffed up simultaneously, and she groaned as the added heat rushed under her fur and practically enveloped her. When exactly she would start shedding was beyond her, but she seriously hoped that it would happen soon. She wasn't too big a fan of overheating herself after all, and paired with dehydration she could safely say that if her fur didn't start to remove to herself. Huffing to herself, she turned her gaze back to Spottedheart and raised her eyebrows when he dropped the bird at her paws. "Oh, thank you. Really though, you should save it for yourself, I don't want to be a nuisance." Despite saying this however, she gladly took the prey in her paws and began to eat it quite quickly, her hunger taking over as soon as she made contact with it.

Trying to retain some levels of courtesy, she wiped her mouth on the back of her paw and give him a small smile, hiding her undoubtedly bloodstained teeth behind a closed mouth. Clearing her throat, she pushed away the food for a moment to swivel herself around to face him, pricking her ears slightly as he spoke. Surprisingly, at that moment she wasn't as nervous as she usually was, despite the fact that they'd already met before. Maybe it was some internal knowledge that he was just generally a decent cat that she could trust quite easily, or more likely she was just too tired to care, but either way it lifted a small weight off her shoulders.

His comment surprised her quite a bit, and she tilted her head slightly to the side, her gaze drifting around but still refusing to meet his even for a moment. "Oh, you were? Well, that's quite the compliment, usually I'd imagine cats try to avoid me rather than seek me out." She chuckled quietly, although her conscious reviewed the words she had just spoken quite critically, and didn't miss the chance to make her question the meaning behind them or how he'd take them. "I was wondering when I'd see you around again anyway, our last hunting trip was quite the experience. Gotten stuck in any more trees since then, or did my climbing lessons pay off?"
She returned her gaze to her food and took a few more bites out of it, eating at a much slower pace as she peered around the slowly moving camp. No one seemed to be up to much at that moment, that wasn't surprising at all, she could practically feel her body boiling in the heat. No doubt this was unpleasant for more than just her; how anyone could stand this weather was beyond comprehension. 

"That'd good to hear, and likewise. You know, motherhood isn't exactly the smoothest sail, but I manage. Besides, the bundles of fur make it all worth while. Only real downside is the number it does on your figure." She giggled slightly, returning his calm smile with one of her own. She wasn't even aware if Spottedheart knew of her kits, but in case he didn't at least he was aware now. She was curious to how the tom would respond, seeing as she was still young and a pregnancy wasn't exactly what you'd expect of such a socially awkward introvert. 
She mirrored his laugh, enjoying the rather pleasant casual conversation. It was a nice change from the hectic life she seemed to be having at that time, and his presence just gave off an easy vibe that she appreciated. It was a rarity for such a clarity to come over her when conversing with another, maye it was just the heat messing with her head, but she felt quite comfortable just sitting and chatting.  

And it takes no one to know one

words: 647 - tags: N/A- notes: -

made by Wolf of GS

[Spottedheart]

"No trouble at all." Spottedheart mewed, letting out a mental sigh. She didn't seem to suspect a thing. Everything was going to be okay, she was going to come to love him, he just needed to convince her of that. Quickly he took another bite of the sparrow, filling his hollow belly with unneeded food that made his stomach churn. He ignored it for the moment however and listed intently as she spoke, feeling her ease up unexpectedly. He stifled a fake giggle at the thought of their climbing escapades. It was just one of many examples that showed he was not a TreeClan cat at heart. That didn't matter now, he had a goal and she was right in front of him, over-heating. His mind raced with the recurring thought of offering to get her some cool moss but he didn't even know exactly where the main water source was.

"Cloudclan it's hot. Back in IceClan..." Spottedheart let his voice trail off, his mind quickly coddling him and reminding him that was in the past. That part of his life was over now, it had died with his last mate and only served to make him slip further as he remembered the memories he had of her. Were they even real or was Gracetail just a reflection in the mirror of his growing depression? Maybe she was just the ghost of any love he had received? He hadn't even interacted much with his own mother in the nursery. Distantly he felt himself slipping and he dug his claws into the dirt and held on. She couldn't see him like this. "I ate something bad earlier." The black and white tom mewed, "do you want the rest?" he offered, pawing the half eaten bird towards her. "You probably need it more than me, after all you're a queen now, eh?" He joked, squirming slightly.

He was so stupid he was blowing it. Ruining everything. The urge to slam his paws against his head rose but he suppressed it, each moment his pelt grew hotter and his belly churned. Instead of indicating the intense discomfort he stayed still, trying to might her gaze so that he had something to hold on to. He needed something concrete, something with strong roots to be a part of. Spottedheart was nothing without something, he was alone and hollow. His intense obsessiveness pushed him further and further from the only thing he desired. These desires were holding him back, but he was too far in to stop himself and know longer had the strength to do anything but continue to chase anyone who would pay him any attention. He was an infection and a disease. A cancer in the marrow, digging deeper and deeper; damaging every healthy cell it touched.

She had kits now? That meant she had a mate. He felt himself fall freely as his heart sank into his stomach making bile rise in his throat. No, that wasn't fair, he deserved her. "Oh that's wonderful Hornetstripe." Spottedheart mewed weakly, giving her a quick fake smile. "Who's the lucky guy?" He questioned much more calmly, the real warm smile returning to his features. Who was this cat who dared to imprison her like this? She deserved so much better! He could literally feel the white hot rage consuming him to fill the void left by his ruined plans. Something had to be done about this other tom.

[Hornetstripe]

When you have no one

you are no one

Despite keeping her gaze drifting everywhere but over the tom, Hornetstripe was observing Spottedheart quite closely; taking note of the general air around him that signified his mood, how his muscles tensed after certain things she said, and the way he shifted where he sat. All the small signs that showed through his body language what he was thinking -she could thank her moons spent around Foxstrike memorising how to read emotions without seeing what was reflected in another's eyes- and from what she could gather, he didn't seem exactly as he would have liked to give off. In fact, his stiff posture and slight edge to his tone would imply that everything was a little forced, but that didn't bother her as much as it should. After all, the heat was messing with her better judgement, and under any other circumstances such signs would have been taken into account and treated much different with a lot more caution. For now though, despite all the signs, it seemed like he still wanted to make pleasant conversation, and she allowed everything else to go over her head. For now at least.

Upon his difficulty with his next words, she allowed her gaze to momentarily slide to his; wide, worried green pools scanning his face for the reasoning behind the choke. There was a definite sorrow in the way his expression contorted as his words trailed off, a lingering memory of things better left forgotten perhaps? Either way, she didn't like seeing such a wave of pain swamp over him, even despite the fact that after all, she hardly even knew him. Although she felt compelled to say something to perhaps distract him from the undoubtedly painful flashbacks, her own nerves froze her up and she remained glued in place, her gaze darting away from his all of a sudden and locking on the ground in front of her. 
To her relief, the lingering silence that crackled with tension was soon broken when he spoke again in a much more casual tone, and she gladly accepted the subject change with a nod of her own. The comment caused her to raise a brow quizzically, a slightly snarky comment circling her mind and daring her to speak it aloud, but she pushed it away and simply uttered a quiet thank you, before placing a paw on the kill to accept it. 

"Hey, Spottedheart," she murmured after a moment, taking a few bites from the prey while silently processing thoughts. "I can tell you've been through some...difficult times before you came here. I know we're only really just, you know, acquaintances after all, but if you ever need to blow of some steam verbally just feel free to spill to me whatever you need to get off your chest. I know this is a little bit of a, uh, random offer, but I'm being completely serious. I'll help you through it as best I can, promise." With a weak smile, she moved her gaze up to meet his for a second to hopefully convey some form of sincerity, before looking away and shuffling her paws. She could feel her pelt prickling the more she thought over what she had just offered, and felt for a moment that she was perhaps being too presumptuous. "I'm sorry, it's completely fine if you want to keep it to yourself, it's none of my business after all. Really though, I'm here for you, but only if you want me to be..." 

The comment on her kits caused a rare proud smile to come to her face, not noticing the obvious strain in his voice. "Thank you," she purred, quite happy to show her appreciation for the one highlight of her life. "Oh dear, well I wouldn't exactly call him lucky, kits weren't our first priority if you could imagine. Have you met Foxstrike since you came here? He's a brown and orange-patched tabby, used to be quite lanky but he's bigger than me now, and he's, well, blind. It's not a bad thing, don't get me wrong, he more than manages to get around. If anything, it puts things in a different perspective, and I'm really quite honoured to be able to experience some of the things that he does. It's more than I could ever ask for, and relaly more than I deserve." She ended on a genuinely happy smile, her eyes becoming slightly glazed over as she silently recalled the memories they made together. 

And it takes no one to know one

words: 748 - tags: N/A - notes: -

made by Wolf of GS

[Spottedheart]

Spottedheart forced down another bite of the sparrow and listened carefully as she spoke. He flinched when she started to pick up on the vibe he was giving off. That was bad, really bad and he cringed internally, struggling to force the bit of meat down. Quickly he forced his gaze to the ground, his thoughts racing back to Gracetail as he mentally repeated "I'm okay." over and over again in a weak attempt to calm his thundering pulse. "I'm-" His voice hitched and he held back the anguished cry that almost certainly would scare her away. "I've been alone for so long, Hornetstripe. My parents never found time for me, my friends abandoned me. My mate died and no one has time for someone who is so cowardly that they abandoned their own clan." He mewed, keeping his gaze downward, despite the heat his pelt felt icy cold. Almost as cold as they day they had buried her, his paws freezing from the cold earth of the mountains. It hurt so much, everyday without her was worse and it continued to tear the hole in his heart bigger and bigger.

He froze again, realizing what he had said. She wouldn't understand, she'd think he was just a crying kit. He never had anyone care about him and he craved it so bad. He'd do just about anything. Then she started to crow about her mate and he felt his heart shatter all over again. In his mind it seemed as though she cared about him, and now she was willing to betray him for a blind cat. A blind cat... B-but I thought you really wanted to help. Spottedheart thought powerlessly, continuing to dig his claws into the earth. "It's been hard. It's been so hard." The black and white tom managed to choke out, being sure to keep quiet so that no other cats would see him making a scene.

He stopped to collect himself for a moment, they hadn't known each other but he could feel himself being pulled closer to her. This was love and it had to be true. This Foxstrike character was in the way. It hurt, it cut deep into the ruins of his soul. "Maybe... I should talk to him sometime, I knew a blind cat in IceClan, he was really wise too." He lied, giving her a weak smile behind orbs of hurt. With any luck to her they would indicate the pain in his retelling of his life. If he was unlucky however things were about to go south, really fast. She was his soul-mate and he would stop at nothing to maker her love him. Anything, he would do anything for another hit. Another chance. This was meant to be and he wasn't going to let a blind cat ruin this for him. Slowly he looked at her, fully facing her gaze as best he could. "I just need someone to talk to me."

[Hornetstripe]

When you have no one

you are no one

Hornetstripe felt her ears flatten instinctively when Spottedheart's words caught in his throat, and she let out a silent hiss of air between her teeth. He was going through a heck of a lot more than he was willingly allowing her to see, and it pained her to simply see him in such a state of internal conflict. To tell or not to tell, that was the question that was undoubtedly pounding in his head at that moment, and all she could do was wait and pray that he would make the right decision for whatever was better for him.
His sharp intake of breath after he uttered the two words alerted her of a much louder noise he was struggling to force back had almost broken free, and her brows knitted together in genuine concern. It wasn't usually this easy for the struggles of others to get under her skin in such a way as his did, but there was just something about how much he seemed to be fighting with himself that caused her to want to reach out and do something -anything- to help. But alas, she could do nothing but wait in vain for him to sort out his own mind. She in no way trusted him yet, but that didn't mean she felt no empathy towards his pain. He needed the comfort and support, and it seemed like those necessities had been in extremely short supply to him for a very long time.

Her assumptions seemed to have been correct, and she nodded along slowly as he explained his thoughts. It struck her as odd; this inner turmoil had been masked so well only moments before, but the most minor of taps on the glass covering had completely shattered his outer persona. Had his past experiences really been that bad that the slightest crack in the facade had sent it pouring out in a tsunami of negativity and suffering? He was stifling most of it, that much she could see, but the short spill he let go was enough to give her a brief idea of what was going on in his head. The alarming seriousness of it intimidated her quite a bit, and yet she felt compelled to do something to comfort him, even if it only helped in the slightest bit.
Drawing in a deep breath and forcing down the lump in her throat, she scooted ever so slightly closer to him, close enough to reach out, and tentatively laid her tail on his back, patting it gently. She still refused to meet his gaze, keeping her head angled downwards and her gaze cast to the side away from him, but she could still see him shuffling out the corner of her eye.

"I-I really can't say that I know what you're going through, because honestly I have no idea. At all. But, one thing I can say is, I know how it feels to be so hung up on your own internal battles that you feel like no one's there, or ever will be there.
Truthfully, that's some hard to stuff to overcome, especially when all attempts at reaching out to others end in failure or simply heartbreak, but you know what? You're not fighting a losing battle, there's an upside, no matter what happens. Now, I'm not usually an optimist, but when you feel like you're at you're absolute lowest, just remember that there's nowhere else to go from there but up.

"You may sink down in an endless spiral for what seems like forever, but when you know you can't go down any deeper, the only thing you can do is rise up, no matter what. Sure, you can float there for a while and just wallow in the depths of your own misery, but what's the good in that? You might as well make a change, swallow some air, and head towards the light of the surface, no matter how murky the water."
Wow, did that tangent actually sound inspiring? Huh, looks like you're improving, level up for rambling skills.

She didn't exactly know if it was right to return to the pleasant topic of conversation discussing her own life after such a momentum-filled speech of pure mind-vomit, but if changing the topic back was what he wanted, then so be it. His offer sent a small shot of joy into her chest, and Hornetstripe turned a hopeful gaze on him. "You did? Oh CloudClan, that'd be absolutely perfect. If it's not too much trouble that is, I really don't mind pushing back such a meeting until you're feeling, you know, alright." She returned his weak smile with a forced one of her own, before sighing and kneading her paws into the ground. That was...something. Not exactly the way she intended to spend her morning, but hey if the day called for extreme emotional spills and inspirational advice, then so be it.

She looked back just as he did, and her gaze fixated on his for what seemed like a very long moment. His words echoed through her mind, and for a moment she forgot where exactly they were and what was going on. Then, just as soon as it had begun, she managed to tear herself from his sorrowful amber eyes and whisked her head downwards. Still, despite what she was aware of, there was something...off about Spottedheart. He was a troubled soul, but despite everything there was still more that he wasn't letting her know of any time soon. At that point however, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to know.

And it takes no one to know one

words: 935 - tags: none - notes: big post oop

made by Wolf of GS

[Spottedheart]

Spottedheart pricked his ears anxiously. What was he doing? He wasn't supposed to spill his guts to her, even if he did strive for her. Looking strong was all he had to pull off but now it seemed impossible as most of his walls imploded on themselves. Revealing his wounded center, the infected hive of want and attention seeking. It was all going wrong, too fast, all of his filtering attempts had failed beyond belief. He could almost feel the ground beneath him quake as he tried to meet his gaze. Everything was wrong, and it was all his fault for being so stupid and letting his lesser emotions come out. Her words of encouragement however came as a surprise and he listened intently, she hadn't vilified him for being alone, she spoke of understanding. Hornetstripe was speaking of this mental war like it could be won, but it wasn't. This was just a battle in the war against his depression, a battle he was losing. Next to him sat the next cat in the line of cats he had clung to for support but how long would she stay? What would stand in his way besides this blind tom she spoke so fondly of?

"It doesn't feel like there is... That I can..." He mewled, genuine hurt in his voice. It was obvious he could no longer able to separate the facade from his real self. The feeling made him dizzy and he broke from her beautiful gaze. His whole pelt shook as she laid her tail on his back and he started to make sobbing noises. Hopefully it would come off as crying instead of his very soul quivering at her touch. He was reveling in this attention but it was mixed with some real emotions and his mind rushed with questions. There was no longer any separation between his real-self and the cool face he put on. This was not supposed to happen, no one was allowed to see the real self behind his amber gaze.

Seeming to recover he drew a paw over his muzzle and face. "Sorry. I was just holding a lot in I guess." He mewed embarrassingly, his ears burning as the cool facade regained control over his mind, at least for now. Assuming he did succeed in getting away with this slip he had to make sure it never happened again, for their sake. He would never let anything happen like this again he had to, she was giving him what he wanted and he felt contentment wash over him. It took every ounce of effort he had not to purr, he moved to meet her gaze again, "Thank you, Hornetstripe."

(sorry it's not anywhere near as long as yours.)

[Hornetstripe]

When you have no one

you are no one

After a very long moment, Hornetstripe finally broke his stare and turned her head away, fixating her eyes on her paws and trying her best not to look back. A strange feeling was stirring in her stomach, and it seemed that the longer she dwelled on this particular subject with Spottedheart, the worse she felt about the current situation. It was almost as if she felt like something was going to go wrong, even though it was probably nothing. He was just sad and confused, left alone in his own misery for so long that he simply needed to vent with the added help of some emotional support, and everything would be fine.
Still, she couldn't shake the sense that there was a deeper meaning behind it all, something menacing lurking beneath the surface that she just couldn't put her paw on. It was buzzing at the back of her mind like a fly, just begging her to acknowledge it, yet she kept her eyes downcast and tried to focus on the situation at hand, rather than dwell on her own worries.
His breathing was changing, that much she could tell, and it seemed to become more ragged and hard the longer the silence stretched out. It was becoming a little unbearable; she could feel tension crackling in the air like electricity, and for a moment she felt compelled to do something -anything- to break it. However, it seemed that he had the same idea, and she jumped slightly when his voice sliced into her thoughts.

With a quiet sigh, she shuffled closer to him, lowering her tail and placing a paw on his shoulder gently. Her eyes remained averted, her mouth half-opening in the beginning of a word. Her mind was almost blank, a few loose thoughts piling up and pushing to the front of her brain, begging to be spoken aloud, but she ignored them and let herself think over each word carefully. "Spottedheart, I...I'm here for you. I know, well, we're not that close or whatever, after all we've only met twice, but you deserve a helping paw. Really, not to the extent of what you're going through, but I know what it's like to...feel alone. I-I promise, I'll stay with you, as an ally. Or... a friend." Looking up with a small but genuine smile on her face, she allowed herself to make eye-contact with him for a split second, before looking away again and flattening her ears. "I'm...sorry if that's no consolidation, after all, what's why petty friendship going to do? But, I'll try, I really do promise you that. You're a good cat, Spottedheart, and that's a rare thing these days. I appreciate that."

As he moved his paw, she drew hers away and placed it back down, scooting backwards a little to get out of his personal space. Glancing over the nearly finished food, she lazily scooped out a hole in the dirt and covered up the remains, glancing back up at him for a second as he spoke. "Don't apologise, please. It's really okay, it's not good to hold things in for so long, after all. Emotions can really affect your mental health, be it in a good way or a bad one. Really, whenever you feel like yu need to vent, I'll be there to listen." She smiled again, but allowed it to linger for a little longer while she assessed exactly what she was professing. This was a big thing she was getting herself involved in, and for a moment she was unsure whether she truly wanted to deal with the unavoidable future hardships that would come with it. Then again, she did genuinely think he was a good cat and really didn't deserve so many negative things in his life. It simply wasn't fair, and for some reason she felt compelled to help him overcome them.
She met his gaze again, but tried to force herself to hold it for longer, murmuring a simple, "My pleasure."

And it takes no one to know one

words: 670 - tags: none - notes: -

made by Wolf of GS

[Spottedheart]

Spottedheart flinched when she turned her head away from him. It seemed like she was beginning to pick up on how he was really feeling and that was dangerous for himself, her, and Foxstrike. She seemed gullible enough, as long as he kept softening her up with his crocodile tears intertwined with the loneliness in his heart. The tension was thicker than mud after a new-leaf rain and he didn't know what to say to break it. Luckily she spoke up after an extended awkward silence, offering her pity. It felt good, to know that she was willing to 'help' him and he was hardly able to suppress the grin that was threatening to over take the downtrodden expression currently plastered on his face.

It was just a mask of course but he was pretty good at making these false faces. It was just a habit, after all he was usually just in the background wherever he was, gatherings, ceremonies. Speaking of ceremonies, he hadn't even gotten a warrior's ceremony and he was still bitter about that. Spottedheart was still bitter about a lot of things, but her sweetness, that overwhelming kindness was overwhelming to that part of him. He felt himself melting at her gaze and completely broken down at her gentle words. She was his light at the end of the tunnel, and as it was going it seemed like almost everything was perfect. Just one thing was off, she was catching on way too quickly and it terrified him. He had been wracking his brain over this the whole time he was with her.

CloudClan he was so pathetic, all he did was hurt. As revenge he hurt others who caused him pain, even the innocent weren't left unharmed. Then he'd go back to that child-like innocence and confusion. Asking Maplesfrost for stories when he was a warrior was pretty high on the list of stupid things he had done to look less suspect of all the emotional abuse he was dealing out. Maybe fate had dealt him a cold hand, maybe it was his destiny to be this way. The constant cycle of being hurt and then hurting in turn over and over again made him sick to his stomach. The air in camp began to feel suffocating and the overwhelming heat wasn't helping at all. He didn't want to look ill in front of her so he stood up, the sudden movement making his stomach lurch and he stopped himself from gagging.

"That... Uh well, it means a lot, thank you." Spottedheart mewed, trying to remain calm as he forced stomach acid back down his throat. He began to sweat slightly, grateful for his short fur which didn't bake him too much. It was still too hot though and he panted slightly. "Could we go for a walk? It's too hot in here."

[Hornetstripe]

When you have no one

you are no one

Tipping her head slightly to the side, Hornetstripe studied his face closely for a moment, and although the haze of desperation to do something to help still clouded her mind, she thought she saw a slight shift in his expression. A small smirk, perhaps. But of course, that was preposterous.
His amber eyes seemed to burn into her skull, and she couldn't help turning away after a moment, feeling the familiar wave of unease wash over her the longer he stared. She had no explanation for the way he seemed to remain so transfixed on her every move, but then again wasn't she doing the same thing to him? Wow, hypocrite much. If anything that should have reassured her, but instead it just put her off a little more, and she couldn't help biting her lip in unsaid worry.

This was different, of course that was to be expected considering she'd only ever had this sort of close interaction from one other cat before, but it was still odd seeing the differences in the ways they behaved. Foxstrike had always put up a hard shell around him, but small wisps of deep feelings still seemed to waft out o matter how hard he tried to bottle them up, giving her a small space to squeeze in herself and try to draw him out. But Spottedheart on the other hand, he was like a haze; a deep grey, cloudy mist suffocating everything with the words he spilled and split-second flicker between emotions he displayed, trying to fan away the fog with cracked words, but somehow only managing to clear up enough to seem normal if she didn't dig deeper than the surface. He he bottled himself up in a ragged parchment of leaves; unable to cover the holes as the mess spilled out and coated his fur with black spite... Or perhaps she was overthinking it all, and she needed to stop. Now.

The sudden movement caused her to flinch automatically, and she struggled to keep her fur laying flat as he thanked her. She forced out a crooked smile, muttering an unintelligible reply, feeling the lump in her throat grow enough to choke her alive. The offer was a blessing in her eyes, although it was eerily similar to the way their first encounter had payed out, and she took it almost immediately; standing up and mewing much more enthusiastically, "Good plan." Breathing a sigh of relief, she padded towards the camp entrance, glancing over her shoulder to make sure he was with her. "Well, I led the way last time, I think it's only fair if you do this round. Take us wherever, just not too far from camp, I won't last too long in this heat."

And it takes no one to know one

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made by Wolf of GS