Faceing it All (p)

[Foxclaw]

Foxclaw was dying his mask of joy was finally eaten away to show a depressed anxious vulnerable kit. Clueless about parenting or life. He hadn't even spoken to the medicinecats. Oh Firebird had to know but she shouldn't face it, she shouldn't worry or see him like this. A mess a week starving sickly mess.

[Firebird]

The nightmares were getting worse. Firebird hated sleep, but she knew that if she wasn't well-rested, she wouldn't be able to do all she could for FireClan the next day. Thus, resting became more of a need than a luxury for her. And even still, it would be late into the night until her eyes finally closed, and she distanced herself from the shadowy warrior's den and the soft heartbeat of Foxclaw beside her. n come morning, she would jolt awake. Warm with adrenaline and trembling with exhaustion. Dreams of running from snarling wolves, caught being the only living soul left to defend FireClan from badgers, being crushed under a rock fall in a tunnel... she didn't understand why this was all happening. Sure, when she was younger, Firebird had experienced plenty of nightmares about the world. She had brushed it off as having a large imagination for her fears. But now as an adult, with the nightmares worsening each day, could she still call it a wild 'imagination'?

But she wasn't the only one suffering at night. Or even in general. And Firebird had done plenty of self-mocking and self-hate to get this point in time when finally she was ready to confront Foxclaw about his own problems. She was his mate and best friend, and having not even noticed his pain because of her own setbacks... really drove a thorn into her heart. Yet now she was ready to face him. To see if there was anything Firebird could do to help him.

He meant the world to her. She wouldn't lose him. Not now, not ever.

"Foxclaw?" she murmured into the darkness of the medicine cat's den(whoa, why are we here?? xD), a chill creeping up her spine. She hated the dark. Nightmare after nightmare flashed through her mind, whispering scenarios where it wasn't just Foxclaw here. She tried to shake them off, but it didn't work. It never did. She was afraid, and he could probably smell her fear. See the hesitation as her once moss-green eyes took in the room slowly, watch her chest begin to breath in faster as her heartbeat quickened. She hated fear now, because it seemed like no matter what she did anymore or where she went, she was afraid. "A-are you in here?"

'He's not in here. But something else is.' her mind hissed a warning. She couldn't help herself but believe it, no matter how hard she tried not to.





((baaaah awkward post.... and laaate... I'm really sorry! >_< ))

[Foxclaw]

A pale dull red lump in the back of the den muttered a "yes." He hadn't been there for her, he was so wrapped up in his own depression.  he had to tell her "i'm so sorry" he whispered. " I was right about speckheart. "He hates me" he said Horsley.





((don't be I'm sorry for the shortness. but speck should see him too))

[Firebird]

(is speck active?)


Firebird hung her head low, before slowly stalking deeper into the shadows. The entire time, her mind whispered and screamed warnings. All she wanted to do was whirl around and bolt to the cover of daylight. Let the fear take over and control her actions. But Firebird was a strong warrior, and despite the overwhelming pressure over her shoulders of dread, she was brave enough to push forward. To keep her paws from freezing up, and to stand proudly over her mate, having felt like she'd cleared the most staggering hurtle of her life. Yet all she'd done was walk two feet.

"Sorry?" her voice lost the fear, now becoming playful. Everything felt much better with Foxclaw so nearby. Settling down next to him, Firebird pressed up as tight as she could to Foxclaw's pelt, hoping the closer she was the quieter the whispering would become. And, of course, from her own guilt. "Speckheart doesn't hate you, Foxclaw. He loves you. You two are littermates, and the best of friends. Nothing can break that bond. Not even I can get in between you two."

Slowly, the FireClan warrior turned her moss-green eyes away from him. "If anyone should say sorry, it's me. I... I am sorry. For not noticing you've been in pain, and just... just not being the mate or best friend I should have been. Heh... I've been caught up in this fantasy that everything is so perfect in my life, that I've neglected to see there's still things I need to help with. And cats I need to be there for. And you're one of those cats, Foxclaw. So... I-I don't know how you can even still talk to me after so many moons of me not being there to help. I don't know how you can forgive me for just... being so blind...." 'Blind from fear....' she added to herself softly.

[Foxclaw]

((ahhhhh craaaap I meant speckflame XD and nope ;-)

"no I meant speckflame similar names I guess I've been thinking about him. But he's been crossing borders and flirting with ice clanners" he said startled

[Firebird]

(oh, whoops! sorry! >_<)

Firebird flinched at the sudden admittance to Speckflame's activities. She lowered her head. 'He'll get himself into so much trouble....' she thought to herself, but shook all the bad situations away. Speckflame knew what he was getting into. Firebird and Foxclaw had raised him to the best of their abilities -- but it was his life to lead. She knew about his meetings, and was disappointed, her own beliefs and ways that she herself had been raised showing through the most and taking over most of her thoughts. But deep down, she was almost glad her son wasn't aggressive with outsiders -- even if the opposite was to flirt with them.

"Well, Speckflame then. Same thing. He doesn't hate you, Foxclaw. You and I both know him better than anyone, and you know he's not capable of hate. He's got too much of a good heart to ever hate anyone, especially his father. Perhaps his stubborn, but if you just talk to him...." she trailed off with a knowing glance, a nudge towards her mate to what he should do.

[Foxclaw]

"I physically hurt him raised him wrong and he wont listen" he growled in frustration.

[Firebird]

Firebird looked hurt. "We didn't raise him wrong at all." she clarified with a small affectionate nuzzle following her words. She ignored his words about hurting Speckflame, and instead replied to the rest of his response. "Speckflame is perhaps a little more wild than the average cat. But I like that about him. He's unique, and different. He doesn't see the other Clans as savage enemies, but rather that they are simply raised in a different life than his that's just across the border lines. That they are no less friendly because of where they came from, and that being apart of a different Clan immediately makes them horrible. And though I do question why he flirts with everyone." Her tone took on a more serious attribute, before a quick shake of her head died it down. "It makes Speckflame who he is. And I wouldn't have it any other way. We raised him into a wonderful warrior who the kindest heart a mother and father could ever want, and even if he is kind to our enemies, his loyalties have never swayed."

"Perhaps he won't listen. But it is his own life to lead. We're not meant to control him, only advise him. That's what a parent does. He will learn from his mistakes, and move on. As will we all."

[Foxclaw]

"your right but I still should talk to him" he said weakly.

[Firebird]

"Yes, you should." Firebird agreed.

[Foxclaw]

"I'm so sorry you have to finally see me lime this" he said burying his head in his paws. He was always like this not letting anyone see his pain.

[Firebird]

Firebird pressed her muzzle against his cheek comfortingly. And though her spine prickled with unease at having her back towards the shadows, she forced herself to remain calm. To be someone strong for Foxclaw. "Foxclaw, I'm your mate and your best friend. You don't have to apologize for anything, honey." she murmured soothingly into his ear, the fluff tickling her nose. "I'm here for you, and I always will be. No matter what. I love you, and nothing will ever change that. So... so please, fight this. And I'll be there every step of the way. We've been together since the very beginning, and will be together til the very end. I promise."


*wipes tear*

[Foxclaw]

((dem feels do. should I whip up a speck thread for the two?))

"thank you" he whispered a tear running down his cheek it was going to be okay.

[Firebird]

{} sure if you want.


Firebird smiled. "Of course." she purred.