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Post by Willowspirit on Mar 12, 2017 22:50:12 GMT -6
"What are you talking about? I didn't say anything about your kithood, Brightpaw, stop making assumptions." While it had been implied, Willowpaw hadn't outwardly said that she was referring to back then, and she would gladly take any chance to tell Brightpaw that she was wrong. It was low of her, but Willowpaw was so filled with hatred for Brightpaw she didn't care, she wanted Brightpaw to suffer.
Willowpaw rolled her eyes, sneering. "I have a nose of my own, I can scent the prey perfectly fine on my own." Willowpaw's entire body was tense with anger, so much so that she was practically shaking. She wanted to kill Brightpaw, but she didn't want to become a killer. Her mind sifted through various ideas, even going as far as to think of arranging an accident for her sister. "Are you going to hunt or not? I don't appreciate you wasting my time."
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Post by Adaline on Mar 13, 2017 5:15:31 GMT -6
Brightpaw's eyes were accusing as they snapped to meet Willowpaw's. "Really. I must be remembering incorrectly then... The only time I recall walking out on you like that was in my kithood." She huffed. "You didn't say anything explicit, but I know how to hear all the things cats don't say but scream it all the same."
She gritted her teeth. "I already did my hunting." She told Willowpaw. She forced herself to take a breath. "I can tell you want to kill me. But you don't because you don't want to be a murderer, right?" She huffed and turned around. "You know what they say... It's the thought that counts." She let out a dry laugh. "Amazing. Aloepaw and Almondfire have each other." She looked over her shoulder. "And don't you dare say I have Mudpaw. I haven't seen him since you hurt him. He doesn't need the crap of our broken family that comes with our friendship."
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Post by Willowspirit on Mar 13, 2017 11:53:47 GMT -6
"Get over yourself." Willowpaw was getting tired of this. All Brightpaw ever did was argue details, not anything that actually mattered. Her sister thought she was so high and mighty, just because she held cats to a double standard, but she could never back it up, she was just as pathetic as Willowpaw was.
"It doesn't matter what I want, it matters what I do," Willowpaw was livid that Brightpaw kept making assumptions, putting words in her mouth, and acting like she knew her. "Who cares if I want to kill you? I want to kill a lot of cats. But I'm not going to." Now that Brightpaw said that, killing her would make Brightpaw right. Willowpaw still felt murderous and helpless, though, and her thoughts drifted towards something even darker than killing another cat.
Her eyes were dull with hatred at Brightpaw's words. She shrugged. "At least, if anything, you had him. You got to know what love feels like. Don't be ungrateful for that."
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Post by Adaline on Mar 13, 2017 14:00:20 GMT -6
Brightpaw huffed. "You're the one who brought it up." Somehow, even as she said this... She hated herself for being like this. Why was it so hard to say what she really thought and felt? Oh. Yes. Because she was positive Willowpaw wouldn't listen. Her sister was more likely to use her emotions to coat her poison dagger.
Her tail lashed behind her. "I'd say that how you feel matters a lot." She snarled softly. She flattened her ears. "I'm not blind. I know there's a list of cats you'd like to kill." She didn't like the fact that she was on that list... But it was her own fault, so what right did she have to complain about it...? Everything Willowpaw said was true, Brightwing didn't deny it. Not really, even as her sister thought she did.
Her cynical smile and nearly dead eyes met Willowpaw's hateful ones. "Really? You have the nerve to tell me how I should feel? Because really... I wish I couldn't feel a thing."
((OMG bright is actually being semi-honest for once in this thread
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Post by Willowspirit on Mar 13, 2017 14:40:37 GMT -6
"Killing you, or anyone else, wouldn't fix any of my problems." Well, not entirely, at least. They would be gone, but then Willowpaw would likely be exiled for her actions. Fireclan was still her home, no matter how much she hated some of the cats in it. Stormsong and Swanfrost would also hate her forever if she killed.
The only thing that gave Willowpaw any energy was her hatred and disgust, and Brightpaw kept giving her more fuel. "Oh, poor you." Willowpaw snapped, her words seething. "Your life must be so hard, I can't possibly imagine what it's like, being so loving and tolerating. It must exhaust you to care so much, and actually have meaningful relationships." How dare Brightpaw say that to her? She was truly the worst cat in existence, to say such selfish things.
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Post by Adaline on Mar 13, 2017 14:51:23 GMT -6
Brightpaw narrowed her eyes. She huffed. "Well... That's true." Though... She... She wasn't sure if she'd really... Mind all that much if Willowpaw killed her. Oddly enough, death didn't scare her much. She'd just be stuck in Cloudclan, right? That's how it worked. Well, either that or she finds oblivion, which didn't sound too bad either.
She shut her eyes tightly and briefly. Then she blew up. "I am sick and tired of you assuming how I feel! I didn't want to say anything before, because it's not like you're listening! It's not like anyone really wants to listen! Can you even imagine it?! I'm trying to be kind and understanding, but it's thrown back in my face, every time! You think it doesn't hurt me?! Why do you think I've given up on changing anyone?!" She sharply gestured to herself. "Do you think I'm somehow immune to being hurt?! I'm not! Every single thing you say to me nowadays is like you're actively trying to tear my heart out of my chest!" Her eyes were wild and pained, her breath deep and heavy. She shook her head and turned around.
"Now that I've said it... I imagine you're just going to mock me for it again. Hurt me with what I've said." She laughed humorlessly. "You know, it would probably hurt less if you just killed me and hid my body. Covered it up."
((... well this got depressing. also this wasn't really going anywhere so... bright blew up.
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Post by Willowspirit on Mar 13, 2017 15:09:10 GMT -6
"You always assume how I feel, you hypocrite. You act like you can see past me, but you can't, you don't know anything about me." Brightpaw was the one who started this argument by trying to analyze everything Willowpaw said, and tell her how she knew everything that Willowpaw was thinking.
She felt absolutely no sympathy for Brightpaw. "So, you're trying to improve your life, and it's not working out? Don't go to me for pity, you're the one who pushed me away. Remember when I was trying to defend myself, and I kept getting hurt? Instead of trying to help me become a better cat, and recover, and learn a better path, you just.. You rejected me."
"You shut me out. All because I hurt your precious Mudpaw. Well, he hurt me too. Are you finally admitting that words can hurt just as much as claws? Last time I checked, you insisted that I was an awful cat for using claws, and now you're saying you'd rather have me kill you than say something mean."
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Post by Adaline on Mar 13, 2017 15:34:42 GMT -6
Brightpaw grit her teeth. "Well, maybe your body language should stop screaming everything you feel!" She shouted at Willowpaw. As she said it, she knew it wasn't... It wasn't really far. Not everyone could control those little twitches of the tails and paws.
She slammed her paw on the ground. "I was never trying to make my own life better! I wanted to help! I did! I'm not looking for pity, you're not listening!" She gritted her teeth again. "YOU THINk I DON'T KNOW I MESSED UP?! THAT I DON'T REGRET HOW I TREATED YOU?! I KNOW I'VE SCREWED UP AT EVERY TURN OF MY LIFE!" Her breathing was labored and quick. "I know that I hardly deserve anything I have. Everyone's probably better off if I'm dead." She sighed. "I'm not excusing anything I did. I could've made different choices... But I didn't. Nothing's changing that. I can't say anything to change it. Especially if you're not listening."
Her breath shook. "What made you think I never knew that...? You're not the only who got hurt." She swallowed. ".... Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I guess I had a change of heart." She laughed dryly. "There's no point in changing anything. It's either accept the life we have or just keep on struggling without meaning."
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Post by Willowspirit on Mar 13, 2017 16:58:51 GMT -6
"Keep it to yourself. I don't need you to tell me how I'm feeling, and it just makes you look arrogant." Willowpaw narrowed her two-colored eyes, watching Brightpaw have her outburst without saying a word or showing a bit of emotion.
In fact, it seemed that the more emotion Brightpaw showed, the colder Willowpaw became. "You're right." She mewed, her voice shockingly icy. "You can't change what you did. You deserve every bit of suffering and pain that you're feeling right now, you brought it on yourself." Brightpaw had turned away Willowpaw when she was most in need, and now she would do the same, her sister deserved to know what it felt like. "You could've had my support, and you could have had me- it was your choice. You could've accepted me without condoning my actions, and we could've recovered together."
Willowpaw felt absolutely nothing for her sister anymore, and in general, she felt nothing. But that was fine with her. "I'm glad that you're burning, I hope you feel how I felt, I hope the regret kills you. From now on, stay out of my life, I don't want anything to do with you."
((WELL this is terrible.))
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Post by Adaline on Mar 13, 2017 18:17:14 GMT -6
Brightpaw hung her head. "I thought I was arrogant." She murmured quietly, feeling... Rather... Emotionally drained. She was just so... Tired. Tired of it all. This whole mess had tested her patience from the beginning... The beginning being when she realized exactly what kind of cat Aloepaw was, back in the nursery.
Since then, her life just went downhill. She could practically feel the ice from Willowpaw's eyes and voice coalescing on her fur. She closed her eyes and shut them tightly. Hah... "Maybe try telling me something I don't know..." She muttered as she began to walk away. Her sister was stupid if she didn't think this was what hurt Brightpaw the most. The fact that her own mind wouldn't shut up about all her mistakes... All her regrets. Everything. All of it. Down to every last second.
Then she started walking off. There... There was nothing to say.
Any doubts as to whether Willowpaw hated her or not had fully evaporated. Hah... Wasn't that depressing? Brightpaw would still be fully willing to fling herself off a cliff for her sister. But... The feeling wasn't reciprocated.
Likely, it never would.
((AHAH yeah... i think it's ending... WELL ANYWAYS this did nothing but confirm that any attempts we make at repairing this relationship it just gets worse. They need a third party if their relationship is to ever improve))
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Post by Willowspirit on Mar 13, 2017 18:39:50 GMT -6
((maybe we could bring in swan? bright and willow are both friends with her, though idk how well swan would do as a mediator.))
Willowpaw narrowed her eyes and turned around, her tail lashing as she walked away. The gray she-cat's feelings for her sister was gone, and it seemed that they would never return. Brightpaw had hurt her too many times for Willowpaw to let her guard down around Brightpaw again. It was just as much Brightpaw's fault as it was Aloepaw's and Almondfire's that she turned out the way she did.
She didn't feel any regret for how she acted, but Willowpaw was not happy. She felt overwhelming hatred for herself above all other cats, for not being good enough at the start, for being unable to form close relationships as a kit, and causing her siblings to hate her. It seemed that Willowpaw was a burden to all.
((aaaaaand willow doesnt seem likely to care abt bright any time soon.))
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