Crying T(o) My Heart

[Deleted]

Sunmist just sat there with Cloudy, it was comforting. He knew that a lot of troubles would come but right now all he wanted was Cloudy's comfort and attention. He just wanted for one little moment of his life to be himself again. Sunmist sighed and licked the fur on her ear, "I do love you Cloudy. You know that I do." He whispered. But Sunmist still couldn't stop a few tears. "Icystep." He whispered, he pulled away. Hurt and confusion in his blue eyes. He didn't know what to do.[/s][/b]

The first time she had actually hurt in her heart was now. Icystep should have knew Sunmist just was using her as a replacement mate. Just so he could have a she-cat that he could remember Cloudbreeze by.

Sunmist shook his head, "No." Was all he said, he laid down next to her and wrapped his tail tightly around her. Hopefully she was warm enough now. "I wasn't really happy for you and Stonepit," He confessed, "I lied." He meowed, "But that was different he was my friend, not my enemy." He looked into his former mate's pretty eyes, "You don't have to lie, I know you aren't really happy for us." He smiled, "I'm not all that happy either, I thought if I got a new mate than everything would go away. My past." He shook his head again, "But my nightmares just got worse and worse and whenever I saw you I felt pangs of guilt and hurt."[/s][/b]

Icystep knew the truth, it was all in her heart. She was called names, she was tormented and hated. But mostly she was hurt. Her heart was broken. Her head filled with confusion, hatred, and mostly anger.

My gaze snapped back to the she-cat. "You are lucky to have him, you heap of mouse-dung! If you even truly cared about him, we wouldn't be here to have his conversation!" I spat. Never in my whole life had I been this angry with a cat so quickly.[/b][/s]

Word from word she was hurt even more.

Sunmist was torn, he glared up at the sky. Then ran towards Icystep his eyes flashing with anger, "Maybe you should!" He shouted, his blue eyes storming, "Maybe you should leave us alone and I'll leave you and Fangpaw alone!" He snarled. "I know you still have feelings for him!!" He yowled. He remembered their conversation, he had told her that he still had feelings for his former mate, Cloudy and she said she still had feelings for Fangpaw. Well now that he wants her back, he can have her! He turned away and padded back to Cloudbreeze, anger and hurt still clear in his eyes.[/s][/b]

Was that really true, was he really torn for their breakup. No, that was most likely a lie.

I stared at the cat in shock and amazement. "Sunny, I said to stay .. Well, I didn't. But still! What about him? Can I truly abandon him again? I don't know what to do." I mewed in terror, a sneeze shaking my skull.

Now, that was the truth, Clodbreeze never really loved Stonepit, she used him as a replacement.

Sunny was ready for that. He fell to the ground and then when he got back up he was nose to nose with Cloudy. "I still love you Cloudy... Do what you want." He thought she wanted this but... She could do whatever she wanted to do.[/b][/s]

He had admitted it twice. He loved Cloud, not Icystep, one could not love two, not love, maybe a crush, but not love.

I backed away, a big fit of coughing escaping my throat again. My paws started shaking, the tremble working its way through my body. I was about to reply when I fell to the ground, blue eyes rolling into the back of my head as I fell unconscious.[/b][/s]

Yes, Icystep was happy she was hurt. But she did not want her enemy dead. No she wanted a friend. But who would actully stay with her?

[Runningfeet]

"Yet another hurt soul who searches through the darkness for a light of hope. You have been given a wound that is worse then any battle scar. You are heart broken." A voice called from the entrance of the den. In the light from the outside stood a black and white she-cat with long legs and dark amber eyes. In these eyes showed care and understanding.

Knowing the feeling of heartbreak for herself, Runningfeet understood Icystep every well. Maybe the way it happened was different, but no matter what the end of it hurts all the same.

Falling for a tom who she had known since he was just a small kit in the nursery. Seeing him grow and standing by him as he became a strong and brave warrior. When her feelings had reached the peck he was gone. Just as fast as the lighting in the sky, he stuck to his name tell the very end. Lightingstrike was gone just as fast as lighting itself.

Another came along just the same. From kit and training them to become an apprentice. The pain of the last never completely faded away for they never do, but it seemed like this love gave ease to the pain. When the courage she searched for came it was to late. Darkwing had fallen and given his love to another she-cat. As a friend she gave them support, but as a crush she hated their very being. Torn between to emotions she stayed silent in fear of what would come.

With the help of friends and family she was able to come out of the darkness and be free again, but still bond to the change that the past held tightly. Many nights were filled with tears, but she always seemed to have a shoulder to cry on. Then, her heart had to fall for yet another. A tom known well through out all the she-cats. Loved by a friend and also a sister. Splashspirit had been her last love and still has her heart's love wither Runnignfeet wanted to accept it or not.

After a many battles the friend found another and her sister bowed down to give Runningfeet happiness. It seemed like they could be together and finally Runningfeet would have her love finally, but that was only a dream her weak and stupid heart thought of in second.

Declaring they were now mates Runningfeet and Splashspirit were together for a moon when he deiced to go back to his old life. Seeing he had caused pain to his close friend and still having trouble from a former lover he sought escape and peace. So Splashspirit left Runningfeet and returned to the life of a kitty-pet. Runningfeet waited for a long time hoping he would return, but it never happened.

Once again, she was guided by friends to seek a better ending. Trying to once again forget the love she had, Runningfeet pressed on. When all seemed well once again, the grey tabby pelt and ocean blue eyes came back into her life. The pain of feeling abandoned reappeared with the feelings of love, but the hate and grief were to overwhelming. Runningfeet declare that she had no love for the tom and said they would not longer be mates. Over time the sadness went away along with the pain, but yet the love still stayed.

As Runningfeet gazed at the broken hearted she-cat she felt and understood her pain. What she need was a friend, a shoulder to cry. With out her friends, Runningfeet would have given up on life many season's ago. Hoping for the best wishes she wanted to be that friend. To give that shoulder would be a step into healing the broken heart.

[Flameheart]

Flameheart limped into the warriors den. She plopped down in her nest and put her head on her paws. Another bad depression day again. She went on and off with her depression issues. The day could be completely fine and she would feel horrible about herself.

She thought of Duckpaw again. Where was he? Was he trying to avoid her? She hadn't seen him out training or even in the apprentice den. He was the only cat that kept her going. That made her happywhen she wasn't having a good day. She sighed softly and blinked her eyes slowly.

That day Flameheart was mostly just thinking about her history. What her parents didn to her. What the medicine cats did to her and her old mentors. She shook her head slightly and looked up to see Runningfeet and Icystep.

Icystep looked so sad and she didn't know why. Before even thinking to brighten her eyes and attitude she spoke."Icystep what's wrong?" she asked her with concern in her eyes.

[Deleted]

Icystep turned her head. Tears running down her face. She gazed at Runningfeet. More tears ran down her face. Runningfeet understood. Instead of crying in her nest again, she leaned on Running and cried. Icy had no friends that had not disappeared. None. No shoulders awaited her tears of joy or sadness. She once had Sunmist, but he had done all those things while they were still mates. He had left her for his ex-mate. Icy cried at the thought of how she had failed twice to keep a mate. So many cats lived in happiness, and joy with a mate. That was all she had wished for.

"I lost Sunny, he's gone he'll never love me again, but I'll always love him." Icystep cried. She loved Sunmist, she loved him dearly, yet he loved Cloudbreeze.

[Flameheart]

Flameheart felt compassion for her little sister. She knew what it felt like. Maybe not by a mate, but sort of by her parents."I know how you feel, maybe not by a mate but by my parents," she meowed limping over to her and nuzzling her gentle."Do I have to go beat him up," she joked softly. What she had forgotten to do is brighten her eyes before talking to her.

[Runningfeet]

Icystep came and placed her sad face upon her shoulder and cried her tears of disperse. Gentle, she licked her grey calico fur in attempts to calm her down. Another soul carried for the broken she-cat and that would help in her recovery. Flameheart tried the approach of humor, which was a great way to cheer someone up, but at this moment it was Best to let her cry. She need to express her feelings in action and not words. When the time came and she felt like she could cry no more, that was the time for words. "It's ok Icystep, go on and cry. Cry until you feel like you have no more tears left. I will be here until you are done, along with Flameheart."

[Deleted]

Icystep looked at the two caring she-cats around her. She loved them both, as a sister. She snuggled into Runningfeet's shoulder fur and cried more. She let herself cry till she had no tears left. She loved Sunmist, Sunmist, Sunmist, Sunmist, Sunmist. Was all that an through her mind.

[Flameheart]

Flameheart flattened her ears. It might be a good idea to go and talk to Sunmist. She looked back at Icystep. She was so young, Flameheart was too but Icy was younger and it hurt her to see her little sister get hurt from this tom. Then she remembered something. She had forgotten to brighten her eyes. She quickly did but they were slowly dulling again. At least it was a good thing that her eyes showed sadness because cats could think she is just sad about Icystep, which that's not the only reason....

She shook her head slightly and licked the top of Icystep's head gentlly and kept on doing it.

[Runningfeet]

Feeling no more tears soak, her already, drenched shoulder, Runningfeet felt it was the time to speak. Giving the young she-cat a few more licks on the head she spoke in a soft tone, "Do you feel any words?" Even if the tears stopped does not mean the words have come. Time is a very important part of healing. Over time the skin covers and open wound. Over time a memory forms a scare. Runningfeet had not spoke for more moons after she lost Splashspirit. When the words came she spoke once again, but they were small words. More and more words returned to her and more she spoke. Icystep would be the same, but with her own pace. "Only speak if you desire so."

[Deleted]

"I do desire to speak, yet words are a hard thing to form when sad. I am sad yet words are coming, I must have good confidence. I just wish me and Sunny could be together." She mewed.

[Flameheart]

Flameheart kept licking the top of her head. She would only listen to Icystep and not speak. She didn't feel the need to speak to her little sister about love when her's might take a turn for the worst. She stopped for a second and just listened to her and what she said. Everything can't be perfect, she thought. Love sometimes isn't fair. Life itself isn't fair, she thought.

[Runningfeet]

"All is understandable. You would like to speak, but your mind is still clouded by the fog of pain." Runningfeet spoke through expressien and wanted to help every cat who had to go through such a situation as this. "Icystep, the world has a funny way of working things out. We can not expect that things are going to be smooth. No matter how hard you search you will never find a path that is just perfect. You may step on a thorn, but you can't let that stop you."

[Deleted]

╰☆╮[/color] "I can't I'm gonna go talk to him." Icystep mewed standing up her paw twisted and she fell over. It didn't hurt bad. No not at all, well.. "Maybe I should go later" She purred softly. ╰☆╮[/color]

[Flameheart]

Flameheart looked at Icystep."What happened to your paw?" she asked confused. If that Sunmist hurt her physically she would have something to say to him later. Or even his new mate Cloudbreeze. She wouldn't be a happy cat if that was the case.

[Runningfeet]

Runningfeet made a faint smile, "Take your time dear. I might be best if you spend some time apart. I will speak to him and see what I can gather." Then she stumbled to the ground and her paw stood out as swollen. "My dear what happen to your paw? Shall I got fetch the Medicine cat?" It looked like it would inflict pain, but if Icystep said it was no big deal she would save her visit for a later date.