With a smile on your face [darya]

[Deleted]

Darya
Ruby walked through the canyon, pausing for a moment as she drew in a deep breath of the dry dusty air. It left her throught dry, but the liked it. It was warm, and though her pelt was long, she always seemed cold. The gold flakes in her eyes catching in the sun. She turned as she saw a cat behind her. "Hello, who might you be?" she asked.

[Darya]

I don't really know what I'm doing here. I tend to stick around the farm, avoiding the cats that live there and freaking out every time one sees me. I guess I sort of just followed the river until walls started to rise around me like the trees of the forest I was raised within. I shudder at the thought, and try to erase it from my mind. The closest I guess to erasing it is dismissal from my prioritised thoughts. Which happen to be water, and food. That and don't get killed, but that is always on my mind. Another shudder, because I know it really shouldn't be. I flick my head slightly and just keep moving, my paws carrying my tiny form alongside the river bank in fearful hesitation. No curiosity. That is not a thing to me. All I've ever known is fear and pain. And hate. Oh but I know hate like I know my own claws. Sharp and ever present was the hatred of all but two of my family and prior gang towards me. And my hate in return for them, always in the pit of my stomach and never acted upon for fear of more injury. My scarred shoulder throbs slightly in rebellion to the memories, and my torn ear accompanies the other one to rest against my skull as another scent hits my nose.

A shiver ripples along my spine like the whispers of a ghost, and my eyes go wide as I spot the other cat. Ears twitching slightly, I begin to back away as silently as I can until my rump hits the earthen wall behind me. My eyes skim it's rough yet mercilessly vertical face, and I see the path out is too far for me to reach, and also to high for such a small feline. 'Please don't see me! Please don't see me!' My wish goes unanswered as she turns to look at me. "Hello, who might you be?" I cower against the earthen barricade, my ears flat against my skull and my whole body trembling as I flatten myself to the ground. My tail curls against my flank and I press so hard against the wall that the slight points of rock feel like teeth biting into my skin. I hardly notice for fear of being hurt, despite her friendly attitude. "D-Darya...No'one special...P-please d-d-don't hurt me..." My juvenile voice comes out in a terrified squeak as I eye her like she could at any moment turn around and rip me to shreds. She probably could. And by my experience, most likely will.

[Deleted]

Ruby's smile faded as she saw the other cat's trembling reaction. She turned around, back arched as she checked to make sure no one else was following her. She was rather paranoid at the time, and was worried one of them might be following her. She slowly turned the rest of the way, taking a  moment before she was completely sure there was no one else. Her attention turned to the small she cat before her. Defiantly not a threat for her to be afraid of. "Are you scared of me?" she asked, a shudder going down her spine. Who could be afraid of her? She wasn't anything special, not scary either in her oppinion, not like anyone Ruby found herself scared of. She giggled slightly. "I'm not going to hurt you. I do know why you may be afraid of some cats, but not me. I'm just kind old me." she responded, somehow pulling off the lie. She always seemed to convince them she couldn't hurt a fly, but in truth she had killed many to get what she wanted. She didn't kill cats randomly though, only if they gave her a reason to. And cats rarely did. She was a good actress though... Maybe that's why they never suspected her. "I'm Ruby, What's your name?" she smiled.

[Darya]

I can't really tell if the cat is more confused or concerned by my sudden trembling. My eyes go wide and I try to cower further away as her fur spikes up and she whips around behind her like there might be dogs there. That would make a lot more sense for my reaction. But no, I'm not scared of any other cat. Well I am, but she's the only cat here. "Are you scared of me?" At her words, when she finally returns her gaze to my trembling frame, I nod hesitantly. "I in't...I...everyone really..." I look down, ashamed, whilst simultaneously keeping an eye on her and keeping myself away lest she suddenly change her seemingly friendly demeanour. I've seen friendly cats before, but I'm not exactly liable to believe them, no matter how convincing. I let out a little whimper as I tuck myself against the ground. What I wouldn't give for somewhere to run or hide right now. My eyes flit self consciously over my scarred shoulder, the fur and skin so permanently marred like the tear in my ear. Said ear twitches slightly back, fluttering against my skull, though not quite.

What was that noise, sort of like an estranged laugh, but thick with childlike innocence that I really should possess but I don't. "I'm not going to hurt you. I do know why you may be afraid of some cats, but not me. I'm just kind old me." I try to still my shuddering. It works slightly if I plant my claws into the earthen ground for stability. I want to believe her. I really do. I just....can't. I shake my head slightly with an apologetic look, putting a lot of apparent effort into forcing myself not to quake like a darn leaf in the wind. My gaze flits around and passes over her, over the river. Over everything because anything could hurt me. So small and so broken and so vulnerable.

"I'm Ruby, What's your name?" My ears twitch in confusion now, my lashes fluttering slightly because didn't I say that already? Wasn't that the first thing she asked me. My still apparent fear tugs my mind back to me, and I pass it off. "Darya...I like yours..." My eyes skim over here, over everything again and I'm still rather jittery in my efforts to still myself. What does Ruby mean, anyway? I don't bother asking.

[Deleted]

"Sorry, I already asked you that, didn't I? I'm just a bit scidish todaay for some reason. Darya though? That's really pretty. And not that common." She smiled, flicking her tail, feeling her heartbeat slow a little bit more as she calmed down. She wasn't even sure who it was she was afraid of, and ma be she was just being parranoid, but she could swear someone was following her. "You don't have to trust me either. Probably a good thing if you didn't." she smiled, knowing that that was true although everyone seemed so trusting. A sweet smile from a pretty face was all it took to follow one's every word. She considered gagging, but held it back.
She sat down cautiously, thinking for a moment. "It's rather hot out here. Wana head somewhere near the river? It's a bit cooler." she offered sincerly.

[Darya]

"Sorry, I already asked you that, didn't I? I'm just a bit scidish todaay for some reason. Darya though? That's really pretty. And not that common." I nod slightly in thanks, but don't really respond. I'm still crammed against this earthen wall, and despite her smiles and relaxed attitude, I still feel like a cornered mouse on claw away from death, yet also one sprint away from freedom. If only I could make it. I eye the cat warily as she seems to calm a little. Saying she's skittish would be like saying I'm calm, we both know that's clearly not true. My ears twitch slightly against my skull, never quite reaching it, and often bouncing back to swivel around cautiously. My eyes trace the landscape once more, then peer up because I've almost been attacked by a bird before. All I can see above me is a ledge where a bit of rock juts out above my head. Good.

"You don't have to trust me either. Probably a good thing if you didn't." As much as I hate myself for it, I probably won't. Still my gaze creeps up to her's, taking in her warming smile I really don't want to see. Can't cats just hiss and threaten and chase me away? I hate when things aren't predictable, at least in those moments I know exactly what's going on. If I was any other kit it'd be the other way around. I'd be able to read any good situation, but as soon as it comes to hostility I'd have no clue. I'm not any other kitten. My body ripples slightly, and I force myself still again. "It's rather hot out here. Wana head somewhere near the river? It's a bit cooler." My ears perk up slightly at the mention of going somewhere cooler. Then I blink and almost turn her down because despite her sincerity, I still can't read her motives. Then I remember how cornered I am, and give a hesitant nod because it means I can run if I have to. I wait for her to lead the way.

[Deleted]

Ruby was glad for the nod because, in truth, she hated when others were cornered. It was sort of like foul play to her. She turned and led the way. The river wasn't that far, but it movved quckly, spraying out a few freezing droplets every now and then. She turned to see if Darya had followed before sitting down. Something had odviously happened to this kit in the past, and that made Ruby curious. "I don't mean to pry, and if it's too personal for you, you don't have to answer, but what happened in you past? To make you so afraid of other cats?"

She paused for a moment before adding, "I'll share my past if you want. I have some good stories. I'm still young, but I have a lot that has happened to me." She said this incase Darya was uncomfortable and didn't want to share. If she didn't shhe wouldn't really mind. Thhe past is the past.

[Darya]

I follow after the older feline on slightly unsteady paws. My eyes still flit everywhere, trying to watch everything at once just in case. They also don't stray too far from the other feline because you never know. One of the members of her old gang could go from zero to one hundred in the space it took you to blink. She'd be deadly calm and smiling like everything was just perfect in the world and nothing would ever go wrong. That is until you allowed yourself to relax. That was her goal. As soon as you dropped that guard, even for the merest second, she'd be on you like a rabid thing, always aiming for the throat. That and the eyes. Someone almost blinded her once, so she always aimed for the eyes, just to let us know how it felt. I already know what that's like, being the merest dodge away from going blind. I sit down with her at the edge of the river, before leaping back suddenly as it sprays me. It's moving too fast. I edge away slightly, and this time crouch down ready to spring, eyeing her cautiously.

My ears flutter slightly as she speaks, and I blink up at her with a fretful gaze. I'm not sure if I want to tell her. I told Ivy, but that was different. My eyes scan the riverbed, watching the fast currents with one eye and her with the other. Always just in case. She goes on to offer up her own story in return, and I swear I feel a flitter of something. Curiosity? No. I don't even know what that feels like it. And that's certainly a good thing. I lower my head slightly, torn ear flickering and marred shoulder twitching and tensing in preparation. Or maybe they're screaming 'look at me and you'll understand.' I'd rather she didn't. "A gang. Like 'em clans round ere. I was raised by them. Small a violent, mostly made up of my relations. They hated me. Never quite got why, but my father was the worst of 'em. He killed my sister for defending me. Just for speaking up even. Then he killed my mama too and made my brothers chose between me or him. One chose him, and the other helped me escape. I think they killed him too." I shudder again, my voice wavering and nervy, eyes flitting but avoiding her gaze. I don't mention the scars that mar my flesh. She can probably figure that out for herself. I paws slightly at the ground, eyes making another harried sweep of surveillance. Ever fearful.

[Deleted]

Ruby noddded. While Darya had some pretty obvious scars, Ruby had a lot of scars no one saw. Her thick fur covered every one, but she still felt them, a constant reminder of what had happened. From time to time some reopened, but other than that no one really knew. "I'm sorry for you." she said, her gaze downcast. Had she not felt the exsact thing long ago? Abandoned everyone for the sake of survival? All of them were probably long dead by now too. "I know how it can feel. To have everyone aginst you. I've gone through it many times myself." she added, biting her lip. Darya had shared her history, so should she share hers? Hers was much more complex though, many more instances of history repeating itself. She also wasn't surre wether or not Darya even wanted to know hers, so she chose to ask, "Would you like to hear my story?" Her tone was cautious as she spoke, a slight tremor through her spine stopped by pure will, although she knew being scared of her past was just a part of her life. All those cats thhough...

[Darya]

I didn't tell her the whole story, not quite. It's not that I feared to, or didn't want to. No. I couldn't. I can't relive that, not ever. It's too soon...My eyes flit over her face. She knows how it feels. Why does everyone pity me? I somehow had some cat jumped down off her high horse for a moment and actually care for someone. Me. I'd shaken her off because I just couldn't let anyone do that. Never. I don't understand what care is, or anything. Heck, I didn't understand a word of her explaining like and love to me. I'd just nodded along and tried to incorporate it into my life. 'Had mama and my sister liked me? Maybe it was love...' My tail twitches slightly, and still wary, I listen and watch her, eyes still scanning everything around us without flitting from her more than a moment lest her demeanour change. "Don't pity me..." Oh. Did I say that out loud? I flinch and look down at my paws ashamedly for a moment because the words came out almost as a wary snarl, shoving her off oh so many others.

And I a real kitten? Certainly not. She knows what it's like to be an outcast. I think I may have been viewed as broken, or maybe weak. I don't think I was, but maybe I'm wrong? I never understood anything that went on around there. 'Kill or be killed was a matter of life' I remind myself, shuddering slightly. At her words I twitch my ears forward and nod, still wary and watching. Still tense. Still fearful. But needing something to play upon my mind other than my blasted memories. Dam them all. I gaze upon her intently, though still clearly fearful. I'm a little calmer now, but it's clear I still don't really trust her. Or anyone really, so there's no need for her to feel any different from another about it.

[Deleted]

Ruby laughed. Surely that was a joke. "Pity? I have a lot of regrets and guilt, and maybe a little self pity, but never never would I pity another cat. Doing favors for someone because they had a sad past much like mine is not how I roll. If I did..." she bit her lip. "Sorry, a bit of a touchy subject." she sighed, laying down and resting her head on her paws. "I'm only saying i know how you feel because I have been through the same... More than once." she closed her eyes for a little. She watched Darya closly. She knew the signs. She ssighed. "And now your going to ask what I mean." she rolled her eyes.

[Darya]

I don't care how fearful I still am, but it think this cat is starting to get on my nerves. Or maybe that's just me. Maybe there's a little bit of my father still in me. I remain crouched upon the ground, fearful face as close to emotionless as I can get it as I completely ignore her explanation on her pity, or whatever she's calling it, because I honestly don't care. Much. I don't know what I care about, honestly. I just know I'm a mentally and physically scarred kitten who is scared of pretty much everything. My eyes flit around the area just in case, if only to prove that fact. Then the return to her and I twitch my ears forward. I wonder briefly what she means by more than once. 'How bad was her past?' Something tells me she's not inclined to tell me. I shake my head, still slightly trembly, and the action jittery. "No. Not if ya don' wanna tell." I cower more into myself, and my eyes look around again, so quick yet unable to miss a single detail, then scan her again. I'm not sure whether to go or not. I feel like running far away from here because this cat asked about me, and now thoughts are playing on my mind, causing it to be on the verge of shutting down completely. If she thought when she found me was blind panic, lets just hope she doesn't have a change in heart and attack me.

[Deleted]

Ruby nodded with a tigt smile, trying to decide if she really would have shared. Probably, but not happily. Her eyes were slightly more subbtle as she scaned the terain, moving in small amounts twards one place then another. She wasn't sure sje was safe still, cause let's be honesy, your never one hundred percent safe, but no one seemed to be watching her. No one even seemed to be around. "So, if your afraid of cats, shouldn't you learn to fight them? No offense, but you seem to be more into running away than fighting." she asked, a look of sincerity and inoccence deep in her eyes. She truly did not want to offend the other cat.

[Darya]

My eyes watch the other cat as she too seems to be worrying about being watched. She is not fearful though, just cautious. My eyes flit from her to the surrounding places and back again as fast as the Lightning I used to shy from at night. And with good cause, too. It had caused a fire that killed my childhood friend. After that I hadn't made another friend for fear of my father. And being close to anyone. And then I'd just, forgotten. Forgotten everything that friendship was, cast it from my mind because I knew it would never exist again for me. My eyes scan the sincerity in the other's features as she speaks of fighting. I shudder at the memories the mentions arouse, and try to shove them back down with a slight gulp as I shuffle my paws. Then I scowl, because despite not wanting to offend me, she's not going about it oh so well. Despite my fear, I steel myself slightly. Just enough for a retort. "Of course I know how to fight. Papa wouldn't have let me even live if I didn't." I narrow my eyes at her, daring her to go on, because if she prices too deep, maybe I might just give her an example. And then I realise that's my drilled in persona thinking, not me. That's who they tried to make me. I shove her off with a shudder and crouch down, throwing her an apologetic look for snapping. I don't put it to words though.

[Deleted]

Ruby smiled and nodded. "Of coarse you knw how to fight, I never said you didn't I just ment thaat why on't you stand up and fight them rather than cowering and running?" she asked, remembering when that used to be what she did. She couldn't blame the other cat, although she couldn't seem to sympathise with her eather. It probably just came from a long past and two different modes of thinking. Her smile faltered for a moment, but thhen was right back.