ragged // o

[Foxstrike]

Foxstrike had a lot on his mind. Truthfully, it was his recent lack of thought that was the cause of his distress. 

He knew he'd taken a step backward. He knew that he'd become more closed off as of late. He knew that he'd failed everyone around him- he'd failed himself. All the effort he'd made to get out more and start being social, all the effort he'd put into showing that he'd cared about others was thrown out the window, and that was nobody's fault but his own. He'd closed himself off once more, and that frustrated him to no end. It was the reason he stumbled instead of landing on the squirrel he'd been hunting, and the reason that he was out here alone to begin with. He was better than this, and he knew that. Everyone did. That was what hurt.

Foxstrike slashed at the ground out of frustration, then let out a resigned sigh. It was his own fault that Hornetstripe was gone. It must have been- why else would she have left? He was a horrible partner, not to mention a worthless father. He had wanted to be so much better than his, and he couldn't help but feel that he'd been even worse than Duststorm. At least Duststorm had come back.

Foxstrike shook the thoughts away and stood up once more. He had better things to do than mope. It was bare-leaf, and there was prey to catch, however little of it there was. He closed his eyes, as useless as they were, and listened. In the woods to the right, something stirred- something breathed. Prey. He turned his head towards the sound and moved closer, pawsteps silent but confident. He knew this territory, every nook and cranny. He'd memorized it long ago. Once he was close enough he lowered himself to the ground and waited, locating the mouse by the sound of its breathing, by the way the wind moved ever so slightly around it's small form. He tensed, ready to pounce, when somebody beat him to it instead. He heard scuffling, and then the heartbeat of the mouse was silenced. It was a clean catch, but Foxstrike was still offended by it. He stood, making himself visible to the other cat, and he glared half-heartedly with his blind eyes. "That was my catch," he informed them, making an effort not to sound offended, but his ears twitched in irritation.

[Deleted]

Rosepaw found that thinking too much tended to halt the course of action. The more you thought about it, the more room there was to doubt yourself. Thus, she tended to want to move forward before too much of that got in the way. Sometimes it was hard, at the pace her train of thought moved at.

For now, her thoughts were solely fixated on hunting. Given that no one had really bothered to train her, aside from that flimsy territory tour given to her by Forestfox, she had to figure most everything out of her own. Well... Dogfang helped her sort of to get a hang of climbing. But as for hunting? Forestfox had started... But hadn't been really helpful at all. As such, she found herself going out into the forest rather often, trying to figure out how to catch prey mostly by trial and error. The most frustrating part was trying to figure out the difference between hunting different kinds of prey. The same techniques for squirrels didn't work on mice and it was all rather... Difficult. 

Thankfully, after much time... She'd finally had a rough draft or five about how one might go about hunting the various creatures in Treeclan territory. This led her to the mouse now dangling from her jaws. Her ears flattened as an unexpected voice spoke up, with the edge of irritation. It sounded like they were trying to be polite but failed. She shot them a dirty look, given that they were suddenly visible.

The mouse fell from her jaws and her tail lashed behind her. "Well, clearly it isn't." She replied in a somewhat snappish tone. She disliked being treated like this.... Again and again. Was this another cat who only had unkind words to share? Cloudclan dammit. She knew Mockingpaw and Nightpaw were exceptions.

[Foxstrike]

Foxstrike realized a moment too late that saying that had been a mistake when the other cat's body language changed immediately. He could almost feel the strength of her glare, actually, even though he couldn't see it. He didn't need to hear her tone to know that she wasn't happy about his comment, and he reeled for a moment when he heard the harshness of it. She had a good reason, though. He had been rude. He raised a fictional eyebrow, stomping his paw against the ground and using the sound to basically scan her.

She was an apprentice, strangely enough, but one close to warriorhood. He was surprised to meet somebody so young with such a fire in their voice. Perhaps something had happened that led her to be so readily agressive. In any case, he had wronged her- and even if she didn't accept his apology, he wanted to show that he meant it.

"I'm sorry," he meowed, sincerely, blind eyes unmoving. "You're right. I was out of line. It was a fair catch, though rough around the edges." Perhaps that had been unnecessary, but it wasn't a perfect stance from what he could detect, and he wanted to let her know that it was possible to get better. "I'm sure your mentor and the clan will be proud."

[Deleted]

Rosepaw didn't quite know what the warrior before her was doing. He'd lifted a fictional eyebrow which had instantly served to fuel her irritation. She didn't get why he was stomping against the ground either. Was this guy scatterbrained or fidgety or something?! Either way, he was a jerk!

Though, his tone in his next words caught him off guard. Plus there was the apology.... No one had really ever apologized before. Flowerpaw, er, Clawstream didn't count. He was too shrimpy and apologized for every perceived slight to the point that it was extremely irritating. But.... This sounded ultimately different. She wasn't sure what to make of it. Her ears tentatively began to raise, uncertainty coloring her every movement, as she took a step forward to get a better look at the warrior. They seemed older, but not... Old.

His last words made her want to laugh. A dry, humorless laugh. Her mentor didn't care. He never gave any hint that Rosepaw was anything more than an obligation. Of course, it hurt... Not that she'd ever admit it in a million years. She wasn't sure how much of the clan even knew she existed on a daily basis. "Yeah. Sure." Came the sarcastic reply. She wasn't sure whether to accept the apology.... 

[Foxstrike]

He wasn't quite sure what to make of her reaction to his apology. It seemed she wasn't quite sure what to make of his apology in the first place, though. He knew she was listening to it carefully, at the very least, from the sutble way her head moved. She stepped forward and he could almost feel her scanning him, examining him carefully. It made the fur on the back of his neck tingle- he tried not to seemed bothered by it, though, and instead of looking at where he knew the apprentice to be, he directed his blind eyes somewhere past her. Foxstrike was honestly surprised she hadn't made a comment about how strange he'd been told they looked. Younger cats were usually more blunt with their questions about them.

In the end, though, she seemed rather unconvinced. Her tone was clearly sarcastic- that much would have been obvious to anyone. Yet it seemed like there was more to it. There was a bitterness to her voice, like something about what he had said left a foul taste in her mind. It confused him. In any case, though, it didn't seem like she had really accepted the apology, and while he didn't want to make her feel obligated to do that, he wanted her to at least know that he meant it. He wanted to show that he was willing to do something to mend their less than pleasant first encounter.

"You don't seem all that convinced," he observed aloud, frowning slightly. "Obviously you don't have to accept it- I just hope you know that I do mean it. I had no right to act so entitled." Perhaps Rosepaw just wasn't used to her elders admitting they were at fault? "I am Foxstrike," he finally introduced himself. "If you want I could give you pointers on your stance- I might notice things that your mentor won't." That was the benefit to being blind. He saw things different- he noticed that which others failed to even detect. He was rather proud of that, actually.

[Deleted]

Rosepaw now had a better look at the warrior. He'd seemed a bit off, but now that she was really focusing on him, she could see something off. His eyes seemed strange, clouded. Further, they weren't even looking at her. Her first instinct was to get angry, but something caused her pause. His eyes didn't even seem particularly focused. Perhaps he had issues with his sight. She forced her fur to lie flat. It wasn't really anyone's fault if he couldn't see well. She wasn't going to mention it, either. Contrary to popular belief, she was rather observant and not always acting with the bluntness of a rock.

Though... This guy, who had introduced himself as Foxstrike, he simply... Confused her. He'd made a terrible first impression, nearly convincing Rosepaw that he was yet another cat who was going to judge her based on stupid reasons she couldn't even see. She never understood exactly what Fawnpaw's issue with her was. At least.... At first. Now, there were legitimate reasons for them to not like each other. But this guy... Why was he being nice all of a sudden? She hadn't exactly been warm in return. It was.... Confusing. She wasn't sure how she liked it, her tail twitching uncertainly. 

His last words still made her fur bristle. "I don't need your help." She snapped, her anger regarding her training coloring her actions. She was fine! She'd dealt fine without Forestfox and she'd be fine without Foxstrike's help. It wasn't like she wasn't independent. She needed to prove herself on her own. How could she refute cat's claims she'd never be a good warrior if she was relying on others....?

[Foxstrike]

"I never meant to imply you did," Foxstrike replied, meeting her fiery tone with a cool one of his own. For some reason, it didn't feel like the anger in her voice wasn't all directed at him, necessarily. A portion of it was, definitely, but most of it wasn't. She just happened to be releasing it on him. He couldn't fault her for that- he'd done the same thing before, to several others who didn't deserve it. "I was only offering it in case you wanted it."

It was then that he was quiet for a while. The necessity of their interaction had ended. He had apologized, and rejected his offer to assist her. There wasn't any reason for him to stay any longer. It was up to her whether she would forgive him or go on to dislike him, and there wasn't anything he could do to stop her from doing just that. But, he stayed anyway. Foxstrike wanted to at least try to help her through her anger. He had pushed others away with anger of his own, and he didn't want to stand by while somebody else did the same.

"I can tell that you're rather mad," he started, admittedly somewhat uncertain about what to say. "But you don't seem to be entirely mad at me, though you have reason to be." He furrowed fictional his fictional eyebrows for a moment, picking his words carefully. He didn't want to make things worse than he already had. "I think that you're partly lashing out. So...if you don't mind me prying, who exactly are you mad at?" He did not think this would go well, but he wanted to try. "And I don't think you told me your name?"

[Deleted]

Rosepaw fought the urge to scream. She didn't know how to deal with this lack of hostility in spite of her own remarks that were far from warm and friendly. He wasn't... Trying to make assumptions about her and was giving her room to make a choice and she didn't quite know how to deal with it.

Then there was silence. 

Foxstrike wasn't saying anything. Rosepaw's tail lowered to where it was quietly and slowly sweeping two inches off the ground. Her ears was half-way flattened. She felt a bit conflicted confronted with this strange tom who probably couldn't even see the body language that came to her naturally. Was he going to leave now, given Rosepaw's firm rejections? It would be what she expected. To leave. See that his help wasn't wanted. Let her stew in her own negative feelings that plagued her every step, colored her every action. Even in positive interactions.

Of course, this guy seemed determined to do the opposite of what Rosepaw expected. The way he started got her thinking he was trying to psychoanalyze her, which only caused her fur to bristle in indignation. She was trying to force her fur to lie flat. She looked away. She didn't really want to admit it, but Foxstrike was right. She had maybe some mild irritated, confusion concerning Foxstrike. The objects of her anger were cats who weren't here, or abstract. This tom didn't really deserve her tongue which had become rather sharp to guard against other's and their less than kind words and actions.

".... Rosepaw." She replied quietly. "I think there's a bunch of people I'm... Mad at." She continued quietly and awkwardly. She wasn't too sure about sharing this sort of thing with a practical stranger.... Yet she found herself talking anyways.

[Foxstrike]

In the expanses of silence that lingered between their words, Foxstrike made an effort to examine Rosepaw's every movement. He wanted to know whether he had stepped too far, and while he had tried to tread carefully, Rosepaw had proven not to take too kindly to most of his words earlier. He focused on every sound in the forest, and how they bounced off of her, allowing him to map her movements. Whenever it wasn't enough, he would move his paws slightly to generate more noise.

At first, he was truly worried he had overstepped her boundaries. Her movements, as small as subtle as they were, seemed agitated. Then it changed. Foxstrike wasn't quite sure what to make of it anymore. Her breathing changed, the way the breathing of another always did before they spoke, and he pricked his ears, listening intently. Her voice was quieter than it had been before, and he could hardly detect the hostility that had sharpened it before. He blinked, unable to hide his surprise at the change, before speaking.

"I've been there before," he admitted, surprising himself with his own confession. Yet, it was ture. He had been there before, and he wanted to help Rosepaw work through it, if he could. "If you want to talk about it, or those that you are mad at, I won't tell anyone else. I hardly know too many other cats anymore, anyway." If nothing else, he could try to offer counsel.

[Deleted]

Rosepaw didn't know what to make of the strange small movements Foxstrike made, suddenly kicking up noise for a reason she couldn't discern. Regardless, she could tell he was paying careful attention to her. In different ways than she was... Admittedly half-heartedly paying attention to him. She was a bit lost in her own head and inner conflict at the moment.

Taking the moment to try and ground herself more in reality, her ears twitched nervously upwards. Foxstrike was... Her first reaction had been to get mad again, but... Foxstrike wasn't trying to force his help onto her. He wasn't like someone believing she was broken and needed fixing. He was offering his help because apparently for whatever reason he thought he'd had experiences similar to what he thought Rosepaw was going through right now. Admittedly... Those sorts of thoughts tended to irritate her to no end. The idea that someone thought they understood her exact plight, comparing themselves to her.... She usually hated it.

She'd been spending her entire life trying to prove herself as a valid existence. That would be impossible if you were a copy of someone else. However, strangely... She was okay with Foxstrike's attempt at reaching out to her.

She didn't really want to talk right now, but the offer was appreciated. But more importantly, it was listened to.

She shuffled her paws awkwardly. "Uh... Thanks, I guess."

Still... She wasn't too great at conveying the depth of her gratitude.

[Foxstrike]

He must have done something right- he couldn't really find any of the anger in her body language that had been there before. Now she just seemed....somewhat self-conscious? Nervous, perhaps? He couldn't tell very well anymore. That was one of the very few reasons he regretted not being able to see- he assumed being able to observe expressions would help him decipher what others were feeling. Even he hadn't found a way to compensate for not being able to see those, as observant as he was.

Foxstrike could tell that she was sincere about her appreciation, though. That was progress in itself. If she didn't want to talk to him about it, that was perfectly fine. He had confidence that she would be able to work it out on her own, given time. He managed a small smile and nodded his head, glad that she at least seemed in better spirits than she had in the beginning.

"Would you care to go hunting with me?" he asked, no longer because he felt that she needed help or because he wanted to redeem himself, but simply because now he wanted to know more about her. He hadn't really spoken to anyone for a while, and socialization wasn't really his strong point. He needed to learn somehow. "I understand that you've already caught something-" He pointed with his tail to her catch. "-but I haven't yet, and I wouldn't mind having a companion to hunt with."

[Deleted]

Rosepaw wasn't sure how to feel about the smile that Foxstrike gave her, accompanied by a nod. She guessed he was content to have... What? Gotten through to her? She still got fiercely irritated at the idea that she was... Broken. Needing to be fixed. She tried to think about it in a better light. He was probably happy to have Rosepaw listening. Yeah, that sounded better and didn't quite set off her temper. 

Then came an offer she wasn't sure what to make of. She looked down at the mouse she'd caught. The one that Foxstrike had originally had his eyes on. She pawed at it, as she thought about Foxstrike's offer. ".... Sure." She started clawing at the ground next to the mouse, quickly displacing the earth. She shoved the mouse inside the hole and then move the dirt back over it with the backside of her paw. 

Her tail calmly swayed back and forth behind her. "You want to hunt around here or... Somewhere else?" She wasn't sure how to phrase it. She still felt... Strangely vulnerable and awkward due to the conversation with Foxstrike. She'd certainly calmed down from her initial hostility, but it didn't leave her feeling all that much better....

[Foxstrike]

[[ AHHH IM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG ;;; there was sickness and school and then I just plain forgot oops ]]

He was somewhat glad that she had agreed to come with him. He hadn't done much of anything with anyone else as of late, and while hunting alone was usually fine, it all could get rather lonely at times. "Thank you,"

He pricked his ears and listened for a moment to find out if there was any more prey around the area. "Perhaps around the stream?" he suggested, tilting his head in the direction of the faint sound of running water. "There doesn't seem to be much around here anymore, but there's usually something over there." Foxstrike regretted the suggestion of the river right after he made it, an ache settling in his chest as soon as he mentioned it. It was a sensible place to check for prey, of course- but it was also a place Foxstrike held too close to his heart.

It was the place he could most easily imagine- and the place where he had tried to show Hornetstripe his world. The place he'd begun to realize he felt closer to her than he should have to a friend. He hadn't been there in a while. Perhaps it had still hurt too much to think about. He couldn't take it back, now, though- he didn't want to let Rosepaw know that anything was wrong. She was kind enough to hunt with him after all the drama, after all, and things seemed tense enough without his own lingering emotional baggage. He turned towards the direction of the stream and glanced back towards the apprentice. "Ready?" To go to the stream, I mean." Maybe Foxstrike was asking because he himself wasn't ready, but he pushed the thought away.