Post by Hornetstripe on Jun 19, 2016 9:32:56 GMT -6
When you have no one
you are no one
[[ Sorry this took me way too long omfg, just taking me a while to get back into Hornetstripe's mentality, she's a confusing soul. Well I've got a week left of school, so I should be much more active after that. This thread will just continue right where the last one left off, sorry if I'm a lil rusty ]]
Hornetstripe felt her ears pin back on her head as a silence rang out after her proclamation, holding her breath as she sent a silent prayer to CloudClan for him to not push her obviously blatant lie. She was silently kicking herself for being so careless, and sucking on her lip to dissipate the scent of blood didn't seem to be working as fast as she would have liked. The quiet was finally broken when she head him crack open his mouth, and in a split second her eyes shot up in worry, her brain formulating a million different excuses to combat her already dying argument. However, he said nothing, and thus the silence returned, crackling in the air and roaring in her ears like static.
It was killing her to know that she'd so quickly tried to cover up the truth in the sense that the issue was still hurting her physically and mentally, especially with his concern that shredded her heart in its claws. In the midst of her mental battle against her own decisions, she subconsciously noticed his paws shifting where he stood, and she pelt a faint pang of curiosity to know what exactly was going through his head. Despite the haze over her conscious, she still felt compelled to dig into his head and figure out his exact thought process regarding the situation, but instead she kept her eyes fixated on the trees behind him and didn't move a muscle.
She'd been a big enough of a bother, anyway. They didn't need anymore of her own problems slipping into a issue that should regard him, and him alone.
She couldn't bring herself to react as he squeezed in his own proclamations in between her words, although she could feel her heart beating tenfold the longer they went on in a match of back-and-forth comments. One particular sentence got her however, and she felt her throat constrict and cut her off mid-sentence, her brow furrowing as her jaw locked up and caused her bottom lip to wobble in confusion. He...was here, and willing to listen? But all of this -everything- was her doing, all of it. All the heartache and reminiscence on past memories and tears spilt, all her doing because her lack of control over her own emotions or mind or anything she did and it all screwed this up and him up and they couldn't work it out because of her-
stop, he just said it was okay. You're okay, he's here, you'll be fine.
She lowered her head, unsure of what to say for a moment, before sighing quietly and murmuring, "Thank you, Foxstrike, really. I, uh, really don't know where I'd be, if you weren't here that is. You're too good to me, honestly." She chuckled quietly, before she looked up again and for once allowed her gaze to wander back over to his, for a moment feeling herself get lost in the milky depths of his eyes, and she forgot the world around her.
"I...don't know what I'd do without you." She managed to choke out the few words, her voice breaking, and she once again looked away. Was she going too far? The statement was bold, too bold in a sense, and she could practically feel her mind collapsing in on itself. It scared her to think about such a thing; was he her lifeline - the only thing holding her together and keeping her from completely loosing her mind in self deprecation and the weariness accompanying her own existence.
She didn't ask him these things out loud of course; he didn't need to hear her stupidity. She was grateful when he dropped the subject.
His reaction to her example scared her quite a bit, caught herself as her teeth felt for her lip again. The shocked expression on his face brought on of unsaid regret to her own, and she felt her muscles contract where she stood. The silence returned faster than she would have liked, and the tension was heavy in the air. She regretted her words almost immediately as she had expected she would, and silently prepared a flurry of excuses to use for her obviously inappropriate analogy.
However, before she could excuse herself to go die in the forest somewhere, he broke the silence, and she allowed her steadily opening mouth to slam shut. He...agreed? She felt more than taken aback, and for a moment her brain refused to work as she processed his words. But she'd been so insensitive in believing he'd ever consider such a thing, yet he agreed? She had no idea how he came to that conclusion, but she didn't question his decision. "I'm...glad to hear that, honestly. It's only logical I suppose, with the maternal instinct to want to be there, but you just can't. It'd eat you up on the inside; strangling your mind in jaws as lethal a badger's, if you would, and you had no means of escape other than begging for mercy."
She felt her mind wandering on the verge of a tangent, and stopped herself before she could continue. The stammer in his voice caused her to glance over to him in question, and she wondered what in CloudClan he'd stopped himself from saying. From what she could gather, had it possibly been an agreement to her hypothetical example? Well, no, that wasn't right, or even possible for that matter.
"I'm glad you could bring yourself to forgive him, I know that must have been hard, but I'm proud of you for taking a stand despite your own mental conflicts and doing that. It's quite admirable. No, very admirable." She smiled softly, before shaking her head and letting go a quiet sigh, her eyes flicking back and forth from the ground to his face.
And it takes no one to know one
words: 1027 - tags: Foxstrike - notes: fINALLY
made by Wolf of GS